tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43891617751790590582023-11-16T02:45:47.470-08:00Steve's Aspie AdventuresPonderings on life as an adult with an Autism Spectrum Condition.Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-956276656539900362015-05-31T09:04:00.000-07:002015-06-16T15:28:08.499-07:00Reflections on a Year of Blogging<div class="MsoNormal">
When I started this blog I never suspected it would be still
going a year later. I wrote my first post after a few people asked if I would
share some of my experiences with them on living with an autism spectrum
condition. In the year since I have learned more than I could have ever
imagined from the simple act of writing this blog. Over the coming months I
will unfortunately not be able to continue to post as regularly as I'd like. Recently
I've returned to full time work which is great news, but also means I've got to
give it my full attention and have had to make the decision to put this blog on
the back burner for a while.</div>
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For those affected by autism, both on the spectrum itself or
supporting someone who is, it can often seem overwhelmingly isolating. The
thing that has really stood out to me over my year of blogging is what an
amazingly supportive community there is out there. By opening up and sharing my
experiences I have got so much comfort from realising that I'm not alone and
having the opportunity to hear others' stories and experiences. I've had the
pleasure to meet some amazing new friends all over the world. It has also
opened my eyes to realise that sharing my story can be of help to others. It's
easy to get trapped in a bubble of being told how things are by professional
'experts,' who often seem disconnected from the realities of life. </div>
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What I've realised is that actually I am an 'expert' too,
I've got 31 years of experience at living with autism and sharing my
experiences, good and bad, can help others. You can too, YOUR experiences are
truly valuable and there are so many people out there who would get a lot of
encouragement from hearing your own story, perhaps you know what it's like to
live on the spectrum, or you know what it's like to parent a child on the
spectrum, or you have some routines that help you, or you know the strain of
holding back a meltdown. For years I felt scared to use my voice and be open
about my experiences, but it's been the best thing I've done and now I know
we're really not alone.</div>
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So on that note I'll say farewell for now. I will be back
later in the year, so for now please feel free to keep in contact, I look forward to hearing from you :-)</div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-82018993725415298512015-05-08T13:55:00.001-07:002015-05-08T13:55:32.333-07:00Do We All Have Autism?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqmxporMhFjPNUP0A9WUHfU3hMWaseADHXz-bAEmPqcvvXo-LR8NveHE6KQSu7Pt9kpgo9omKfO54RQfDjoRaX9S69Qglhiw1F3KdsHcFOGL38_sZPWM3lDn6VuyMQ-cR7XIFm1OBW6sw/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqmxporMhFjPNUP0A9WUHfU3hMWaseADHXz-bAEmPqcvvXo-LR8NveHE6KQSu7Pt9kpgo9omKfO54RQfDjoRaX9S69Qglhiw1F3KdsHcFOGL38_sZPWM3lDn6VuyMQ-cR7XIFm1OBW6sw/s640/Image2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Everybody is on the spectrum somewhere'</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sure this statement is familiar to most of us. It's a
statement that many of us with, and indeed without an actual diagnosis may have
been told or perhaps said, but is it true?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I personally would answer that no we are not ALL on the
spectrum. I believe there is a clear boundary between having and not having an
ASD, and don't find the view that you can be 'a bit' autistic accurate or
helpful, and this is why...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lets start by looking at what autism actually is. Autism is
a neurological condition affecting how the brains neurotransmitters communicate
and deal with information. It is a life long condition that cannot be cured. The
way it affects an individual can vary but the symptoms can be categorised into
groupings, this is where the term 'spectrum' comes in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a common misconception that the word spectrum means
there is sliding scale from 'non-autistic / neurotypical' to 'severely
disabled'. This is not the case, it's more accurately a grouping of conditions
(eg. Classic Autism, Aspergers Syndrome, RETT Syndome, PDD NOS) each condition
sharing patterns of how the underlying neurological difference has caused an
effect, all under the umbrella of 'Autism Spectrum' The National Autistic
Society explains this as, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> '<span style="background: white; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It is a spectrum condition,
which means that, while all people with autism share certain difficulties,
their condition will affect them in different ways.'</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One difficulty I have noticed in explaining autism to
someone is the fact it's a hidden disability. How ever much you stare at a
person you won't be able to see their neurotransmitters, so how can you tell if
they are different from yours? You can't, so it's the outward signs you'll see.
This is where it can get tricky.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With specialist equipment there are undeniable differences
clearly seen between those on the spectrum and those not. Brain scans show
distinctly different patterns between neurotypical and autistic individuals.
Another example is eye movement research which again clearly shows distinct
differences in how people on and off the spectrum process information. So this
seems clear cut, why would there be any doubt?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you saw me having Sensory Overload, Shutdown, Meltdown,
in a non verbal state or stimming, you'd instantly say there was something
going on here that most people don't seem to experience, but I don't tend to
display those traits in public if I can help it! Instead you get to see effects
you can relate more to.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The social awkwardness, anxiety, confusion and general day
to day difficulties are actually experienced by everyone at some point. If I
said I feel so overloaded I just need to go to sleep I think most people could
relate to that. Again if I explain that if I'm stressed I get tongue tied you
could probably relate. How about shopping... the supermarket can be
overwhelming because it's so busy, yep I guess you've felt that too at times.
This gives the impression that these traits SHOW that someone has autism, so if
everyone can relate then everyone has a degree of autism?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lets myth-bust this theory with the statement that social awkwardness
is a sign of autism. Just think back about your own experiences, how many times
have you said something you regretted afterwards? How many cringe worthy jokes
did you tell at the office party? How many times did you try to talk to your
crush and make a fool of yourself? You thought of a few didn't you? I guess we
all have a stock of encounters that make us squirm a bit when we remember them,
but does this make us all autistic? No, it makes us all human! These social
awkward moments happen to all of us, autistic or not, where the difference is
comes back to the pesky neurotransmitters. In an autistic brain they are so
busy processing the world in their own eccentric way that I often make social
faux-pas without even realising, on a daily basis. Imagine those embarrassing
moments you recalled earlier - now that is what 'mild' autism feels like when
socialising EVERYDAY. Even a quiet and uneventful evening out can result in a
bad meltdown for me (which is literally where part of my brain stops
functioning for a short while, similar to a seizure), if this is something
everybody experiences on a regular basis they certainly keep quiet about it! So
you still think you have mild autism?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So we've established that some traits of autism can be
related to by all. If I were to take the same approach here are some of the
conditions I must therefore have...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have hypos when my blood sugar drops which means I must
have mild diabetes? Some days I have mood swings which means I must have both
mild bipolar and menopause? I have a headache right now which means I must have
mild brain tumour? Every day I get tired and go to bed which means I clearly
have mild ME? Doesn't work does it? Perhaps you thought this was a bit
insensitive and insulting to those with these conditions? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes it was insensitive, and that's how I feel about this
statement towards autism. To say that EVERYONE is autistic in some way creates
a number of problems for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By removing the distinction; removes the need for support
for those on the spectrum by saying that
they don't really have a condition requiring support or therapy. It belittles
the struggles faced by all those affected, however hidden it may be to you. It
also makes support conditional on the effects being clear and obvious. I can
tell you that when I'm having a hard time the last thing I want is to have to
justify my diagnosis to someone with no medical knowledge who has never seen me
at my worst!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It also creates a barrier to those not yet diagnosed. There
is enough stigma with autism and related mental health concerns as it is, so
please let's not create another one by dismissing someone's genuine struggles
by saying that we all go through it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the flip side however I do still see it as important to
recognise that regardless of diagnosis, many of the struggles I face as an
aspie can be related to and even shared by those not on the spectrum. Although
a strongly feel that there is a distinct divide separating those on and off the
spectrum, this is simply a realisation that I the condition is a real thing and
not a scary evil thing that should be used to create a gap between 'us' and
'them'. It is good to have the distinction when dealing with medical
interventions and support; but with friends and family? Often I will share an
experience I have had that I think of as being an 'autistic' trait only to find
a friend not on the spectrum also can relate. This is great to bring us closer
and our shared experiences and often different approaches to overcome obstacles
unites. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This to me embodies neurodiversity - the celebration that we
are all wonderful and valuable in our uniqueness - each and everyone of us
regardless of functional labels. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me it is important to ring-fence and understand my
diagnosis as a medical and neurological thing that I (as a person) can take
control of, I find this helpful and beneficial in my own journey at coming to
terms with the diagnosis. Others take a very different view, and this is
totally fine. What is important is that we find our own way to understand what
the condition means to us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In this post I've expressed strong views on why I don't
think we ALL have autism, but they are just that, my opinions, based on my
journey and experiences. Many have very different views and very different
reasons why they hold them true. There is no hard fast correct answer here and
I have presented you with my feelings, but how about you? Let me know your
thoughts, whether you agree or disagree, I'd be very interested in your
opinion, do YOU think we ALL have autism? </span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-56688594755362964562015-04-24T11:27:00.000-07:002015-04-24T11:27:18.569-07:00Communication Confidence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTry-OGtxFy8PP1k2PQIX-anL-tLWN1_0lcmf4i3WuSoSguPV-MQW0z7OkPBCfD6EKvgrYJ7yycRfDpHoJ0FSPdczOkK7d08yfPN3N8Vk2fkfb37_-uOfagxYuRmJnrLJMqp2xvAYEdOo/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTry-OGtxFy8PP1k2PQIX-anL-tLWN1_0lcmf4i3WuSoSguPV-MQW0z7OkPBCfD6EKvgrYJ7yycRfDpHoJ0FSPdczOkK7d08yfPN3N8Vk2fkfb37_-uOfagxYuRmJnrLJMqp2xvAYEdOo/s1600/Image2.jpg" height="392" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Communication
difficulties is possibly the most well known struggle that those on the autism
spectrum face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The aim of
communication is to <b>exchange information
and ideas with others</b>. It is an essential skill to have in life, whether we
are simply communicating that we are say hungry or tired or engaging in more
complex communications of a business negotiation or scientific research paper
it is clear that communication skills are really quite important to all of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So what is
it that makes communication hard for us aspies?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The trouble
with communication is the way we are dealing with multiple streams of
information at once and my brain struggles to interpret this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Just think
about the word ‘yes.’ It’s meaning is clear isn’t it? Well not quite. If it is
said with a nod of the head it could mean that it’s a positive response. If the
tone of voice raises at the end it could be a question (yes?). If you’ve just
approached someone and they say ‘yes’ they are really saying ‘what do you
want?’…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The list
goes on and it’s clear that even simple words change meaning depending on the
context and tone they are spoken in. The same is true for text. If I SUDDENLY
WRITE IN CAPITOLS you might think I’m being angry and shouting, or perhaps I’m
just highlighting an important sentence for you to remember.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Most people
simultaneously take in and understand these multiple messages and unspoken
clues with little effort and can then respond the most appropriate way. For us aspies
it’s often not the case and instead we need to consciously learn to read and
understand the messages being given. In a way it is just like learning a
foreign language. This is an analogy that has helped me greatly when I’ve found
myself frustrated by communication difficulties. As a handy twist of fate, a
fairly common aspie trait is a strong ability to learn and absorb information
so learning to communicate fluently with the ‘native neurotypicals’ can be both
fun and achievable, so long have patience and persistence. So where do we
start? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve listed
a few pointers that have helped me along the way and I hope they help you too. At
the end of this post I will use some example situations to get you started but
intend to go deeper in further posts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">These are
tips have worked for me in the past, but we all learn in different ways so
please have fun adapting this to suit you and please feel free to add any tips
you have found helpful to the comments section. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1: Who do you want to communicate
with?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In the
above examples I showed how communication varies greatly depending on the
situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Before even
starting to work out <b>how</b> and <b>what </b>to communicate we need to think about
<b>who </b>you want to communicate with.
Perhaps you want to be better at communicating with friends, or colleagues at
work, or emails, or phone calls, the choice is yours. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">2: Identify the Challenges<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now you
have decided which style of communication you want to improve I’m going to ask
you to do something important, but uncomfortable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Make a list
(either on paper on in your head) of what you find difficult about this. Be as
critical and brutal as you like.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It feels
very un-natural to be critical and negative when trying to learn something but
actually I find this a helpful exercise. Usually we are encouraged to ‘think
positively’ but actually for this process we need to be able to separate what
we can already do and what we struggle with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So perhaps
you’re now sat looking at a list and feeling a bit defeated. Actually what you
are looking at is a list of things we are going to learn how to conquer. We
have identified our enemy and it’s time fight these challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3: Set some Goals<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Looking at
our list of challenges we might start to feel overwhelmed, where do you even
start?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">What we want
to do here is start to break down these issues even further and form a set of
goals that are manageable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps we
have said that we find making friends hard because you don’t understand people.
It would be a huge task to tell ourselves that we are going to suddenly have
friends overnight, but perhaps we can break this down into smaller chunks. What
do you need to learn here? Perhaps learning to better understand body language
might help? Or learning some conversation starters? Building some self confidence
to meet people? – these can all be made into smaller, more manageable goals.
Instead of setting myself a challenge of being perfect at communicating with
friends, I could say ‘this month I will try and learn how to start a
conversation’ – this is achievable and a step towards my final goal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">What skills
do you think might help you to achieve your goal and what skills do others seem
to ‘just have’?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">4: Learn – Study & Research<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now we know
what it is we want to know how to do, how so we gain the skills to be able to
do it? It’s time to get our academic heads on here and start to study. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">What we are
doing here is asking all the questions you were probably afraid to ask, but
there’s no silly questions here and we have a great tool at our hands to help
us along…. The internet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
internet allows us access to vast amounts of information and it’s time to tap
into this. What we are looking for is information and advice on the topic we
are looking for. It is helpful for me to ask the question ‘how do you ...... ?’
as if I am looking to see what exactly it is the other person, this gives me
clues as to what I can start to practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Perhaps you want to learn how to
improve eye contact – ask the internet ‘how do you improve eye contact?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Perhaps you want to know how to
invite a new friend over - ask the internet ‘how do you invite a new friend over?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Perhaps you want to improve your
writing skills - ask the internet ‘how do you improve
your writing skills?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Can you see
the theme developing here? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As we
search we will come up against lots of information, so how do we know what is
relevant? For this we have to give ourselves a filter. Do I find what I’m
reading helpful? If yes, then I can consider it and move on – if not, scrap it
and move on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Having trusted
people (perhaps a care worker, family member, support group or friend) to chat
through ideas with is a great help too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Some useful
websites I’ve found are<u> <a href="http://www.helpguide.org/"><b><u><span style="color: windowtext;">http://www.helpguide.org/</span></u></b></a>, <a href="http://psychcentral.com/"><b><u><span style="color: windowtext;">http://psychcentral.com/</span></u></b></a></u>
and <u><a href="http://www.wikihow.com/"><b><u><span style="color: windowtext;">http://www.wikihow.com</span></u></b></a></u>,
but you can also have a look for ideas on YouTube and Google. Always remember
though that you will simply be reading other peoples ideas, so if you do not
agree with what you read or you try something out and it doesn’t work for you
then simply leave it. If in doubt ask a trusted person for their advice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">5: PRACTICE! - Step out of your
comfort zone<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So by now
we are brimming with knowledge about your new skill. Perhaps you now know the
correct way to use newly learned phrase or can recite the rules on small talk
etiquette, but you still come across as robotic or fake. This is because we
need real practice with real people. This takes courage and persistence but is
what moves us from knowing how to communicate to actually communicating
naturally and comfortably. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Look for as
many chances to practice what you learned in step 4 as possible – and don’t be
afraid to get it wrong! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve often
found that I get great practice by going and staying at a youth hostel or
joining a tour, even if it’s in my local city. A day spent with tourists has
two advantages – As I’m around people from different areas a lot of my
differences are immediately seen as being because I’m assumed to be from
elsewhere and I start with a clean slate. I am also able to make as many
embarrassing mistakes as I like fairly consequence free – I’ll never see them
again!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The tricky
part is that there is still some embarrassment and it’s still often a long and
frustrating process but one that opens your horizons and has real results. The
adventures you take add to the experiences you can then chat about in future.
Volunteering in a charity shop gave me practice in speaking to the public AND a
good story to share at a job interview. A weekend in a youth hostel in San
Francisco put in the deep end learning to socialise in a Night Club, Coffee
Shops and taught me to make small talk AND provided great storied to share with
people when I get back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Just by
focusing on a small element of the overall issue we identified in part 1 we are
building our confidence and having an adventure along the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">6: Enjoy yourself</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As you
start to build your confidence then it is great to look back to what you want
to try and improve next. We never stop learning and developing our skills and
as you conquer your fears you can have a great time learning the skills you
want to be able to communicate well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope you
have enjoyed this post and found it of help. I really look forward to hearing
about the adventures you have as you learn new ways to communicate. Please feel
free to share this post and leave comments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will be
covering this topic in far more detail in future blogs so please feel free to
let me know of any tips you would like to share or any topics you would like to
read more about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-5422152014392842192015-04-10T01:47:00.000-07:002015-04-10T01:55:59.040-07:00Diagnosis Dilemmas - Q&A on autism diagnosis<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh733jfGQYl0X6abGzDcigjZtU1c5n58wHAr6MAiGzTM3aligdyGNMoYDIxZxU9XbqoEYG-8BRFUUy4-_xJK2ruxJDwb0F3oY1yo5koLzl-XCX6LFXNb_ZCZhKR3ia9kovebos2Rv4dJOc/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh733jfGQYl0X6abGzDcigjZtU1c5n58wHAr6MAiGzTM3aligdyGNMoYDIxZxU9XbqoEYG-8BRFUUy4-_xJK2ruxJDwb0F3oY1yo5koLzl-XCX6LFXNb_ZCZhKR3ia9kovebos2Rv4dJOc/s1600/Image2.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a>Diagnosis is a topic that pretty much everyone on the
spectrum has at some stage been affected by. Perhaps you were diagnosed as a
child or as an adult, perhaps you have no formal diagnosis and feel it is something
that you don't need or you want a diagnosis but really don't know what to
expect from it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This week I wanted to have a look at the topic of diagnoses
in the form of a question and answer session. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Before I get started I just want to note that here in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region> the services
offered vary wildly depending on where you live, my answers are based on my
experiences alone. I'd love to hear your story, especially if you live in a
different area or country. Feel free to add your views to the comments section.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">How old were you when
you were diagnosed with asperger's?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I've actually been diagnosed officially twice, so I've got
two answers to this. The first diagnosis was when I was 16, or to be precise on
my 16th Birthday. I was leaving full time school and it was clear to me that
there was something going on for me that really needed addressing. I had
terrible problems during my teenage years and the wishy-washy explanations I'd
been given just didn't make sense to me. Finding myself on the brink of
starting my adult life in such a vulnerable position spurred us into getting me
a conclusive diagnosis. 12 years later I received a second diagnosis that
matched the first. I had hit some difficulties at work and my line manager was
refusing to accept that I was on the spectrum. She had dismissed the first
diagnosis claiming that autism is a childhood thing (suggesting that I had
grown out of it if it was even there to start with) and that I clearly didn't
have it (she truly believed that those on the spectrum can't talk). Getting the
re-diagnosis not only helped secure some adjustments to the working environment
for me but also helped me re-confirm things for myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Why did you not get
diagnosed as a child?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Diagnosis in childhood becoming far more common these days,
but back in the early 80s when I arrived into this world it was fairly rare. In
the years since far more research and knowledge is available allowing for much
earlier diagnosis. For me the signs were missed and it was all the more
autistic traits I displayed as a child were put down to things such as bad
parenting / premature birth / bad behaviour / food additives etc, as I got
older this moved onto almost random guesses at 'your son might have..... ADHD?
/ bereavement issues / ADD? etc' but at no point was any diagnosis offered. When
an actual diagnosis was brought up it was generally considered that it
shouldn't be offered as I might use it as a label to hide behind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What did the
diagnosis involve?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
A series of tests are carried out ranging from a full IQ
test to manual dexterity and problem solving tasks. There was an extensive
series of questions relating to how I feel about various scenarios and a fairly
long and invasive questionnaire relating to my behaviours and development as a
child. The questions can feel quite intrusive and intimidating so I recommend
taking time over the questions and asking someone close to help you out if you
find you're struggling with them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Following this diagnosis more in-depth testing and therapies
often get offered. I've had follow up tests to manage the sensory processing
aspect of autism, sensory integration therapy and various therapies to address
meltdown management and social skills. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The National Autistic Society has a very comprensive guide on how to request and what to expect from an adult diagnosis for those in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region> at this
link: <u><a href="http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-information-for-adults/how-do-i-get-a-diagnosis.aspx">http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-information-for-adults/how-do-i-get-a-diagnosis.aspx</a></u></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I've not included any links to information about diagnoses in
other countries or for children as I don't want to give you bad information as
I don't know those areas very well myself - I welcome you to add any
information you have that may be of use to others in the comments for others to
see.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">How did you feel about
the diagnosis?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When I first received the diagnosis I was a bit
shell-shocked. I remember having a typical teenage strop and telling my parents
that it was a really crap 16th birthday present! I was given a list of things
that I wouldn't be able to do because of the condition and really nothing
positive was presented to me. Once the shock had passed it turned to relief.
For a long time I had known there was something different about the way I was
experiencing the world but having a reason why meant I could stop blaming
myself and start to live my life, and I wanted to prove those who said I would
never achieve anything wrong, I had mission!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What benefits has the
diagnosis provided you?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
There are two main benefits I have found from having an
official diagnosis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The first is a personal one. Having a piece of paper in my
hand that conclusively proves that the struggles I've had are real and not just
a weakness of character really helps me to overcome the pain of times things
are bad. The diagnosis also provides me with a really useful tool to use to
seek help, understanding why and how I'm struggling really gives me the key to
figuring out what the solutions are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The second benefit I have found is a purely practical one.
By having a diagnosis I am officially classed in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region> as having a disability which
automatically provides certain levels protection and support. It also opens up
doors to getting specialist services, home support, treatments, advocacy etc,
that are only offered to those with a diagnosis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What disadvantages
has the diagnosis given you?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
None. I'm not saying this jokingly either, there really
haven't been any disadvantages as such. The only negatives I could scrape from
the barrel are that the process of actually getting one is frustrating and
lengthy. Since getting the diagnosis it's only ever been beneficial for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The concern posed to me before my diagnosis was that it
could be a label I could use to hide behind. In my experience it seems to
actually work in reverse and having the label gives me more power and control
over the struggles. To be fair if I was going to hide behind a label then I'm
sure I would have found something to hide behind anyway and the effort in
fighting for diagnosis would have been too much of an effort!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I've also heard often the concern that having a diagnose
might disadvantage you if someone is prejudiced against those on the spectrum.
In reality if you encounter small minded people like this then having the
diagnosis legally protects you, actually in this situation not having the
diagnosis would be the disadvantage. If I ever feel self-conscious or wary
about disclosing my diagnosis then it's perfectly OK just to keep quiet and not
tell anyone, having a diagnosis doesn't mean that I have to declare myself as
an aspie to everyone I meet (although having a blog kinda does that for me!). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I suspect I am on the
spectrum, would you suggest I get a diagnosis?</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
For me having a diagnosis has been a very positive thing but
that doesn't mean I will be insisting everybody rushes to their doctors
tomorrow for a test. There has been clear advantages for me in getting support
as I often struggle but the process of diagnosis is frustrating and intrusive.
I'd recommend assessing yourself if you feel a diagnosis is right for your own
personal situation. I attend a support group in my local area that attracts
many people both with diagnosis, self diagnosed and those just finding about
the condition for themselves or someone they know. If you have questions about
diagnosis groups like this and online support groups are a great way to chat
things through with people who have gone through the process themselves. It's
good to get a variety of views on the subject to help you make your own
decisions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I hope you've found this weeks topic interesting. As always
I welcome your feedback and views. Please feel free to send me in your comments
and questions below.</div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-79159351886689812282015-03-27T07:54:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:54:25.095-07:00Communication Confusion<div style="text-align: justify;">
Crowded, hot and noisy marquees aren't my favourite place and I was feeling very overwhelmed just being here, crammed into this humid dome with 10000 others. I'd been invited by a friend and I'd decided to come to this weekend festival just to try something new, have a new experience. If it was terrible I could just go home! I tried to make an assessment about where to sit and decided that right at the front would be best as then I couldn't see the mass of other bodies! Perhaps at the back by the door would have been more logical but I went for it anyway. At the front I discovered a quiet area next to the sign language interpreter and settled myself down for the start of the celebration.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've not given sign language much thought before, 'how would they interpret the music?' I wondered. While the crowd behind stood and sung with their voices, in front I watched as the song transformed into bold movement and expression as the sign language interpreter lead his followers into a depth of meaning in the song seemingly missed by the thousands who stood limply behind us.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was truly beautiful to watch. The energy and passion spread and by the end of the weekend we were all dancing. For the first time in years I was using more than just my words to express my feelings, I was using my whole self, it was liberating. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That weekend taught me an important lesson about communication. Communication involves far more than just words.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It is easy to pinpoint the main causes of communication difficulties the deaf community face, but how does this relate to me, an aspie? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As an aspie my brain takes in information in a slightly different way to most and growing up this gave me a slightly different communication style. Add into this the relentless negative responses when you get it wrong, it's no wonder communication can be hard!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When communicating our aim is to share information with others, feelings, desires, thoughts, information..... As humans we do this in full Technicolor, using our words, tones, voices, ears, body language, eyes, facial expressions, it all pains a picture to give the full meaning intended. Most people learn how to juggle all of this subconsciously, but my aspie brain is more into creating neat stacks of information and goes for the quickest and most direct route. This produces an often cold and robotic response that often misses the point.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just think about the word 'yes' - depending on the tone and volume it's said, the inflection and the speaker's body language and context of the word it could mean pretty much anything! </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes shouted angrily could mean I'm busy go away! </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes? could be asking what do you want?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes! sarcastically could even mean no!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Without any clues however the word 'yes' is only going to mean 'yes' - confusion is not surprising! I end up frustrated wondering why 'yes' can't just mean 'yes'!?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In many ways it is like comparing different languages. We may both be speaking English, but the meaning is getting distorted leading to confusion all around. It often feels as though I am in the wrong for not being understood but actually this isn't the case and it really shouldn't be a blame game here. I simply have a different way of communicating - a different language!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Changing my thinking around to this has really helped me tackle my own communication struggles. Instead of telling myself that I 'Can't' communicate, I see it as an opportunity to learn.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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It can often feel like everyone else should meet me in the middle here but in reality it is a lot easier to learn how to communicate in as many ways as I can rather than expecting literally everyone to do it my way. It takes time and practice but is surprisingly rewarding. Simply typing questions like 'How to start conversations' into Google brings you so much information, so have a look for yourself and see what you can find.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There are of course times you really do need to have someone communicate on your level and this is fine too. I find it has helped me to be able to script and practice ways of asking for this. Lecturing someone on how something 'SHOULD be done because I have AUTISM' doesn't seem to go down well, but toning it down and perhaps saying, 'please could you write that down for me' or 'I'm sorry I have difficulty using the phone, I will make the arrangements with you via email' are ways of getting the point across without being too confrontational.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It really is a huge topic and I just wanted to write this post as an introduction this week. I will be continuing this topic in the future to cover far more detail. I'd love to hear from you about your experience and any particular aspects of communication you would like to be covered more in upcoming posts. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I started this post with a story about sign language and thought I would try and find a nice video to end this week's post with. I came across this video, A version of Cyndi Lauper's True Colours recorded by Artists Against Bullying and signed in ASL by the Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.</div>
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Over the last week I've been approached to write posts on a number of subjects, Communication Skills, Cures, Confidence, all of which I am very excited to share my thoughts on but not this week. I've had a terrible week. Actually I've had a terrible month! I've really wanted to try and highlight as many positive aspects of autism in my posts as I can, but this week I'm going a different direction. I got thinking about why I started this blog. I wanted to share MY experiences. Good, bad, whatever, just my experiences, this week they've been really appallingly bad, so this is what you get to read about today.</div>
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Depression and anxiety aren't exclusive to autism, and some on the spectrum don't suffer from this at all, but it is very often something people with autism face, I'm one of them. Depression is a tiring and frustrating beast to face. We rarely openly talk about it and it still today comes with stigma and fear attached. It occurred to me that I would feel at ease posting a blog about having a cold or flu, a broken bone or a migraine. Mental health concerns however somehow feel more personal and harder to talk about. Why should this be the case? I wanted to face the fear and talk to you about it right here in my blog this week.</div>
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I didn't know how to talk about or explain how I experience depression and anxiety so I simply wrote how I felt during one particularly bad night this week. It's not neat and tidy, grammatically concise or detailed. It doesn't need to be, it is simply how I felt. I want to give the full picture in my blog, both good and bad, so here we go.</div>
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Autism can be relentless.....</div>
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meltdowns rolls into meltdowns,</div>
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my senses burning, my brain imploding ,</div>
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this hurts.....</div>
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I'm so tired,</div>
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but I carry on,</div>
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questions, decisions, guilt,</div>
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why is it so hard to say I need help?</div>
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and this hurts....</div>
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You ask who's at fault?</div>
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who's to blame?</div>
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we talk about it, talking for hours,</div>
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but this hurts.....</div>
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the adrenalin flows and my insides burn,</div>
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guts twisted in knots,</div>
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head pounds,</div>
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this hurts....</div>
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You say it's my fault,</div>
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that I'm weak,</div>
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to man up,</div>
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....but this hurts..........</div>
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I can take some meds,</div>
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numb the senses,</div>
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shut out the world,</div>
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it still hurts......</div>
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I see your pain,</div>
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I see your frustration,</div>
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I see the hurt I cause you,</div>
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and it hurts....</div>
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why am I so wrong,</div>
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so bad,</div>
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so selfish,</div>
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to sometimes want this to all stop</div>
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.....because it hurts?</div>
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breathe in</div>
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three</div>
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two</div>
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one</div>
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breath out</div>
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and relax</div>
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tomorrow will be a better day?</div>
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Tomorrow was a better day this time, but each day one person dies every 40 seconds because it wasn't a better day. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region>, let's all play a part in reducing this statistic and talk about mental health. There is still a stigma about mental health issues that MUST be removed. Depression is a silent killer and is no more a choice than any physical illness so let's treat it the same and be open about it's affects and find a way forward together.</div>
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<b>If you need to talk today or have concerns about someone you know then here are some phone </b><b>numbers for you:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><b>UK</b></st1:place></st1:country-region><b>: </b>Samaritans <a href="tel:08457%2090%2090%2090">08457 90 90 90</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on"><b>Republic</b></st1:placetype><b> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Ireland</st1:placename></b></st1:place><b>:</b> <a href="tel:1850%2060%2090%2090">1850 60 90 90</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><b>USA</b></st1:country-region><b> & <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region>: </b><span lang="EN">National Suicide Prevention Lifeline <a href="tel:1-800-273-TALK"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">1-800-273-TALK</span></a> (8255)</span><b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><b><span lang="EN">Australia</span></b></st1:place></st1:country-region><b><span lang="EN">: </span></b>Lifelink Samaritans: <a href="tel:03%2063%2031%203355">03 63 31 3355</a><b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>For a larger list of countries visit http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html </b></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-71615866784504003242015-03-01T04:26:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:52:08.355-07:00Sensing Something Strange<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdBZ9x27CYDIUJ8xmS4qsls5sRBIZfTMWYSja6kqf0oKNh74i6RLB9nRstiA3hNc-KnexHJAAl9N0Fk7htyO0cFPJGWdWFGwv-5tIxunVU-pkUAdPUVBxsVcFpzOwSQzp-xsyfPSaNdU/s1600/blue+gold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdBZ9x27CYDIUJ8xmS4qsls5sRBIZfTMWYSja6kqf0oKNh74i6RLB9nRstiA3hNc-KnexHJAAl9N0Fk7htyO0cFPJGWdWFGwv-5tIxunVU-pkUAdPUVBxsVcFpzOwSQzp-xsyfPSaNdU/s1600/blue+gold.jpg" height="640" width="568" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Is it blue
and black or white and gold? Unless you've been hiding from the world for the
past few days you are probably aware I am referring to a photo of a dress that
has been flooding the internet. It shows an optical illusion
showing how two peoples eyes can perceive colour in very different ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sensory
differences are something those on the autism spectrum are often all too
familiar with and Sensory Processing Disorders are a common part of the condition.
This week, while the debate about the dress colour rages, I wanted to share
with you how many of us on the spectrum experience lots more than just colours
differently. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sitting
around with friends late in the evening the conversation often turns to deep
and random questions to ponder. How do you explain the colour ‘red’ to a blind
person? How would a deaf person understand the concept of ‘loud’?
Interesting thoughts to mull over but for us sat around the table, well we were
all sensing the world in the same way right? Well not quite…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">From seeing
the a red apple our eyes send a message along out circuit of nerves where out
clever brain cells get to work at deciphering it into something meaningful.
Parts of your brain will fire into action and tell us that what we are seeing
is indeed red, that’ll tell us if we like the colour, how bright it is, if it’s
edible, if it could harm us an so on – all from a single signal from out eyes.
This is what senses are all about, out brains translating the world around us
into some meaningful information. There are so many more senses than the well
known sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. We sense heat, time, balance, body
position (close your eyes and touch your nose – how did you know where your
hand was in space? This is called Proprioception), the list goes on. Our brain
does a fantastic job at turning all of this into useful info to help us
navigate the world around us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">We all have
slight variations on how our brain handles this flood of information. Perhaps
when looking at the red apple your brain say to you, ‘Ah look, a tasty fruit, I
feel hungry,’ or maybe it says,’ Yeuk, I don’t like apples,’ either way your
brain has almost instantly recognised the abject and told other parts of your
body how to respond. But what if this doesn’t happen, what if our brain
translates it more like, ‘an apple is edible but red is danger, release lots of
adrenaline ready to run’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For those
on the autism spectrum how we experience senses are often very different from
the average person. Instead of taking a logical path through the nervous system
the message goes for a wander and gets all confused. This is what happens in
sensory processing disorder; a common attribute that affects many on the autism
spectrum but one that is frighteningly often overlooked. The effects can
broadly fall into three groupings:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>Oversensitive:
Too much information reaches the brain. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Try this example out: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Listen to the sounds in the room you’re in now. Can you hear
traffic outside? Perhaps there is a clock ticking? There might be people
talking or a radio on nearby. Listen closely, can you hear the computer fan
humming or the light buzzing?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Chances are you could identify each new sound and focus on
it separately? With an oversensitive neuro-connection all of these sounds would
come at once in a big wall of noise, your poor brain just doesn’t stand a
chance at making any meaningful distinctions here thereby rendering
communication impossible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>Undersensitive:
Too little information reaches the brain.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Try this example out: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rest your hands down in front of you. What can you feel?
Perhaps it’s a wooden desk or the soft fabric of your trousers? Is it warm or
cold? What is it’s texture light, maybe it’s smooth or rough?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Can you now describe what you just felt? Now try this
wearing gloves. How many much of this would be different. You would probably
miss most of the textures. With an under sensitive connection the messages sent
to your brain get filtered out and lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>Confused
Senses: The information sakes a somewhat ‘alternative’ route through the brain.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sometimes instead of taking the direct path the signal takes
a detour and gives the brain a rather different message. This is called
synesthesia. One sense gets mixed up with another. The results can be random.
With synesthesia might be able to ‘taste’ colours or ‘see’ sound. Perhaps we
should be asking if the dress 'tastes' of strawberry or lemon, instead of the
colours! The benefits of this can be huge – think of the music abilities if you
can see each note! For me it’s less than helpful, – certain textures and
visuals make me feel very nauseous. I’m not telling you which, too many of my
friends would use this for practical jokes on me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">To what
degree and which senses are affected vary drastically in each person and is
dictated by a roll of the genetic dice. My sensory difficulties are something
I’ve long been aware of but not something I thought could be improved. I was
offered a chance to undergo sensory integration therapy and I snapped up the
opportunity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sensory
Integration Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘cure’ the imbalances in the senses, rather
it aims to regulate and moderate the more distressing aspects. When the brain
gets over or under saturated by messages it can just switch it’s self off in a
meldown or shutdown which is something best to be avoided. In a previous
post I wrote about my experiences of meltdown, check it at this <a href="http://stevesaspieadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/timeline-to-disaster-introduction-to.html" target="_blank">link</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The sensory
integration sessions start by working through many varied tests to establish which
senses are affected in what way. This allows a targeted therapy plan to be put
in place. After all if you have an oversensitive sense of touch it needs
desensitising and vice versa!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The therapy
itself is a scattering of different techniques and tools to balance the senses.
It’s caused much amusement for my colleagues at work after each session as I
return to the office armed with various weird and wacky new gadgets to try out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The biggest
surprise to me what how much two surprising senses were affecting me:
Vestibular (balance & coordination) and Proprioception (position in space).
I’ve always known that these were under sensitive for me. I can fall over a
flat surface and can’t catch a ball to save my life. What I didn’t realise was
how pivotal these were for keeping everything else in check.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now, bear
with me on this one, let’s think about an iPhone. There are plenty of apps and
you use them they drain battery power and you need to recharge the phone. If
the battery runs out the phone turns off. Simple. Some apps use vastly more
battery than others so as the battery gets low we moderate our usage. With low
battery I probably won’t use music or video apps or take photos etc. Now lets
think of the iPhone as our brain and the apps are our senses. It is the
Proprioception and vestibular senses that are the most draining on our
batteries, and as we get low on power so the others start to fall away faster
and faster until we just ‘turn off’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m sorry
if that analogy was a bit obscure, but it is one that helped me to understand
the situation. In summary our brain spends more time and effort keeping the
Vestibular and Proprioception in check than it does with the other senses, so
when it’s getting tired (or in my case, having an uphill struggle as I’m under sensitive
in those areas) it’s other things like sound, taste, smell etc that start to
close down first as my brain looks for ways to free up resources. Biologically
this kind of makes sense. As a cave man faced with danger knowing my body
position and maintaining balance would be essential in the fight or flight
scenario. For me today and now it gives a clue as to the way forward. Train my
brain to use up less effort managing these senses and the others will all fall
in line as being easier to deal with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In coming
posts I’ll be discussing more about how my new experiences in the world of
Sensory Integration and letting you know hoe I’ve been getting on. I’ll also
write a post to review some of the equipment I’ve been trailing. Do you have
any equipment or techniques you’d like to be added to the review? If so then
please let me know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This was a
subject that I am only just beginning to learn about and I hope you’ve kept
with me until this point! If not, then you’re not actually reading this
apology, but sorry for loosing you anyway! So assuming you’re still here
reading this than thank you and I do hope you found this post of interest.
Please feel free to share this post and get in touch with your thoughts and
experiences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-49042728943920973532015-02-12T05:56:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:51:47.447-07:0010 Reasons You are NOT Cupid<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIvcl2Qy6erh_mix2YpAsz8J5pde6M0Xk8KVAXAv4rifK572fwq6Gr93_NRKowsXV4tjbFIC_dGvBi36rvWmv-OYpv5M7e6y57PRKfdS9-HHcfaJcunT7hjn2Mohi5YDtKBmsSfOWH18/s1600/IMG_4038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIvcl2Qy6erh_mix2YpAsz8J5pde6M0Xk8KVAXAv4rifK572fwq6Gr93_NRKowsXV4tjbFIC_dGvBi36rvWmv-OYpv5M7e6y57PRKfdS9-HHcfaJcunT7hjn2Mohi5YDtKBmsSfOWH18/s1600/IMG_4038.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Valentines
day is upon is once again. It’s time to shower your loved one with rose petals
and luxury chocolates and smugly declaring your perfect and unmatched love to
the world. I’ll sit here as a singleton and feel sad and lonely…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Well not
exactly, I’m actually pretty happy for now being single, but many of my friends
don’t seem so convinced. Valentines day seems to be the time of the year when
it is seen as a great time to raise the issue of how asperger's affects
relationships and ask some very pointed questions that normally people probably
wouldn’t dream of asking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This seems
a great opportunity to address some of these questions or comments and answer
some of the stereotypes. The following are a list of statements I have
genuinely received and a light-hearted look at each one. It is important to
remember that I’ve made my answers based on my own personal feelings, we are
all different so perhaps you’d answer in a very different way. I’d love to hear
your thoughts and experiences on this topic and I do hope you enjoy this post,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So let’s
get started…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1: It must be so hard finding a
girlfriend as an aspie…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yeh, I
guess it is, but probably not for the reasons you might think! I don’t know
many people (aspie or not) who find it truly easy just getting a girlfriend,
let alone a compatible one. The main hurdle is communication. When faced with
stepping out there and making a good first impression with someone I find
attractive I usually panic and say something random, but that’s definitely not
exclusively an aspie problem! Beyond this we’re all different and the way we
approach finding the love of our life and what we’re looking for in a partner
varies just as much as it does for those not on the spectrum, although some of
the factors are. Questions like how and when (or even if) to tell them about my
condition do play a big part. For me it takes me a while to feel comfortable
around new people so meeting someone new in say a bar or nightclub has never
been great for me, but developing a relationship over time has been successful
for me. So yes there are challenges, but I don’t think they’re it’s necessarily
any easier for those not on the spectrum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">2: You should meet my friend, she
has asperger’s too, you’d be perfect together…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have a
friend who is stupid, perhaps YOU could date them?! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps I
will get on with this person, perhaps I won’t. The only thing volunteered here
is that they have asperger's, like me. This tells me nothing about them as a
person or their personality. I’ve actually been told this in a number of
occasions, in various different forms – two people with autism would make a
perfect match because they have autism in common.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This is no
different from telling someone that if you’re British, then any other British
person would make a perfect match for them. We wouldn’t say that! Well at least
I hope not…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3: You must be lonely being single…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes
sometimes I am, but you can also be lonely when with someone. Loneliness is a
big factor for many on the spectrum, whether single or in a relationship. I can
go for long periods of time with little to no interaction outside of work or
care settings, it can get very isolating at times. When I’m most struggling it
becomes increasingly hard for me to communicate and this can fuel the feeling
of loneliness. If anything it’s actually worse when in a relationship because
the barrier this temporarily creates whilst the meltdown or crisis passes can
isolate you from those around you. It is never pleasant going through this
feeling isolated from those around you but it passes and in many ways it is
easier to handle these times when I can just go and be alone for a while.
Having good friends and joining clubs also works wonders if loneliness creeps in,
but I’m under no illusion that I only experience loneliness because I’m single.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">4: If you were more outgoing, less
outgoing, more bold, wore different clothes…(and so on)… you’d find someone<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes I’d
find someone, but not the right someone! How long could I keep up the pretence
of having a different personality? Perhaps if I want to change any of these
things about myself then I should do it for me, not for some one else? I’m a
work in progress, just like everyone else and whoever I meet joins my journey right
where I am now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">5: Aspies don’t have empathy so they
can’t have relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Aspies not
having empathy is the biggest myth there is. It is simply not true, and recent
research is beginning to show that it could be the opposite, that we have too much
empathy! It is true that it is in many ways harder for aspies to have
relationships but it’s not impossible not related to empathy. The social cues
and unwritten rules in starting and maintaining a relationship are a minefield
and often confusing for anyone, let alone someone with communication
difficulties that come with autism. In past relationships I’ve often come up
against barriers where I was ‘expected’ to act a certain way, say certain
things, do certain things that I was just clueless about and vice versa. As an
example if my girlfriend was upset I might naturally leave her alone. For me I
need space when I’m upset so I was showing empathy by allowing her the space
that I would want in this situation. She, on the other hand, might perceive this
to be lack of empathy and show me to be distant and uninterested. Really this
just shows that we both do things in a different way and need to communicate
about issues that others might not necessarily need to talk about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">6: You’ll Want to Start a Family One
Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps,
but I’m realistic that I’m getting older and it might not happen. I’d love to
be a father, but I’m also quite content with not having children. It’s
something that’s out of my control so I don’t see this as burning issue that
absolutely must be resolved instantly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">7: Do you think you should have
children? What if you pass on autism…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It is
possible that autism is genetic so I guess I could pass it on, but why should
that be a problem? I’d argue that I’d be in a great position to be able to pass
on what I’ve learned through my life experiences to a child, whether they have
autism themselves or not. Perhaps we’re more at risk of you passing on
‘stupid,’ – ignorance is the thing that needs to be wiped out, not autism!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">8: You Need Someone so they can Help
You Around The House<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yes I do,
that’s why I have a support worker. Having a partner would clearly reduce
weight of domestic tasks and financial responsibility, but this should never be
the motivation behind a relationship. I don’t want a second mother (one is
plenty enough), I want a relationship. Even in a relationship I’d probably
still keep outside support in place. After all I want to spend my time enjoying
my partner’s company rather than burden her with medication and sensory
integration routines!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">9: You can’t really be happy on your
own can you?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Our society
pushes a view that to be happy we MUST have someone to share your life with.
This is not true. There are plenty of people I who never settle down, get
married, have two kids and a pet dog, and they’re definitely not leading a
substandard life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In reality
it could be that I never meet the right person and stay alone, but actually
this isn’t so bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Being
single allows me the freedom to live life with far more freedom than many of my
married friends. If I need to make a lifestyle change I don’t have to consider
my partner. (Recently I moved house to get better healthcare, this may not have
been even an option if I had a wife and children to consider), if I have a bad
day I can be as grumpy as I like and not have to worry about it affecting
someone else, If a friend is in need I can drop everything to help out, if I
want to go away for a weekend… no problem. Yes at times I do envy the family
life that these friends have but it’s far better to appreciate the benefits of
the life I’ve got now, rather that wishing I had what someone else has. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">10: The right girl is out there for
you, you just need to go and find her…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">She is, but
I don’t think I will find her, I believe we will find each other. If I get on
with my life, and live it the best I can, be happy with who I am then the rest
takes care of itself. Call it fate, destiny or just chance, I believe that if
you meet people while living your own life and then who knows where things go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So if you
are spending Valentines Day alone this year like me, then join me in
celebrating all the reasons why being single is actually pretty ace. Whether
you are in a relationship or single I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Share your thoughts on why you enjoy being in a relationship or being single?
What struggles have you had in relationships and do you have any tips for
others?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-11080572470264670512015-01-30T09:46:00.001-08:002015-04-21T14:41:47.751-07:0010 Things the Church can do to Support Aspies<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">TRIGGER WARNING: </span></i></b><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This post deals with
the topics of religion and faith. Because of the nature of the subject and I
will be writing from a Christian perspective. If this is a topic you feel isn’t
for you then I’d advise not reading further. In this post I have tried to put
aside my personal feelings regarding God and faith and look instead at what has
helped me make sense of my faith and access the church. I am conscious not to
offend or sway your beliefs with this post, I simply want to outline my
experience of what has and hasn’t helped me to access the church and my faith
in the hope it can be of use for others. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> ‘How can our Church support those affected by
Autism?’ a friend asked me over a coffee recently. The directness of this
question sent me into a tirade that I think surprised both of us. I could see
on her face that she was regretting asking this question, but it got me
thinking. I spent many years holding my Christian faith close and was an active
member of my local church but that was in the past and I no longer consider
myself to have faith and the church isn’t a feature of my life. For a topic I
didn’t think affected me in any great way, the passion of my response to the question
got me thinking. It dawned on me that irrespective of my faith (or current lack
of) the influence the church has had for me has been and has the potential to
be very positive. When this question resurfaced on a number of occasions since
starting this blog and with Autism Sunday fast approaching I thought it was
time to look at this topic in more detail. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
International Day of Prayer for Autism (also known as Autism Sunday) takes
place across the globe on the second Sunday of February. I like the sentiment
behind this event but want to look at whether there are things the Church
community can do to support those on the spectrum throughout the whole year?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So lets get
started….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1: Provide Information on What Can
Be Expected From Your Church<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Knowing
what to expect is a really important factor for me when going somewhere new. If
I visit a new place it helps to have as much information beforehand on what to
expect. The unknown and unexpected is very daunting so knowing what’s going on
before arriving can really help me to feel relaxed and at ease. How can you do
this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps you
have photos of your church and information about services on your website? This
will help me see what your building looks like and know what to expect. If
things get too much, knowing in advance that there is a coffee area or where
the exit is can really make things a lot easier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Photos of
your leaders and key personnel will also help me know who’s who when I arrive. Perhaps
you can arrange to meet me before hand or put me in contact with a member of
your welcome team. This way I will already know a friendly face when I arrive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">2: Don’t Make Assumptions<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So I’ve
just walked into Church. Why am I here? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps I’m
a Christian looking to worship God. Perhaps I’m visiting the area and joining
you for the service. Perhaps I’m a regular attendee and you see me every
Sunday. Perhaps I’m struggling in some area and looking for help. Perhaps I
have no interest in faith but want to meet some new people in the area.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It could be
any reason. Whether I attend regularly or this is my first time there is no way
of knowing exactly why I have chosen to walk through the doors and into your
church. It’s best not to make assumptions as to what’s brought me here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3: Be Welcoming!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This seems
straightforward, but in reality there are some factors that can really make a
big difference here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Arriving at
a busy church can be overwhelming at the best of times, but with the
complications of autism it can be a barrier that stops you even getting through
the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Lets
picture a fairly typical scenario….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I arrive at the church. I’m not feeling great and I’m
anxious and not at my best. There is a throng of people milling around the
doors chatting. I feel overloaded so push past and enter the building.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m faced by the welcoming team. A line-up of bouncers in
corporate church uniform insisting on communicating with me before I can enter
the service. ‘Hello, Welcome!’, ‘Take a leaflet’, ‘Have you been before?’
‘Here’s our gift aid form’ ‘WELCOME’ ‘Have another leaflet’ ‘God loves you now
HUG ME’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Yikes, can’t deal with this, I don’t even know these people,
quick, quiet seat over there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The hall fills up. Everyone knows each other and are
chatting. I feel isolated and intimidated. How do I even start a conversation?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The service continues and I feel more and more self
conscious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Say hello to those around you’ announces the minister. What
do I say? Am I looking relaxed? What if they hug me again? Is my autism
showing? Oh no, my autism is showing!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The service draws to a close and I sheepishly navigate the
small talk in the coffee area and leave feeling isolated and stressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where was
God in this scenario? Exactly! The social pressures that autism brings means
that God can easily become overshadowed. Any time I have addressed this
directly I have received the rather strange response that ‘It is your
responsibility to talk to everyone else’ or ‘This is a large church, we can’t
cater for everyone’ – rubbish!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Luckily
this hasn’t always been the experience. I went to a church for a while that
took the approach that ‘we are ALL the welcome team’. Just this slight change
of attitude created a hugely positive affect for me. It allowed me to just be
me. The overloaded, antisocial, clumsy me that I often am on a Sunday morning.
I remember distinctly a particular day. I’d not been to church for a while and
wasn’t really in the mood, but went anyway. I was met in the carpark by someone
who greeted me like a long lost friend and introduced me to someone I didn’t
know. They walked in with me and I sat down in a quiet corner. Another person I
didn’t know politely introduced herself and offered to get me a drink. During
the service I left the hall and sat in the coffee area as it was a bit intense
for me. Without fuss someone asked if I’d like company. I did and we listened
to the sermon. Afterwards over coffee I chatted and prayed with someone else.
There was no neon ‘pray here’ sign, huddles or hugs. Just a genuine and warm
welcome. I left still feeling overloaded and overwhelmed but felt respected and
welcomed. This makes a huge impact and is this not something you want to be
portraying?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">4: Be Sensitive to My Sensory Needs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So I still
felt overloaded and overwhelmed? Well yes. Due to autism I have various sensory
difficulties. Unfortunately the set up of a standard church service hits all
the buttons to set off sensory overload. Bright lights, loud music, lots and
lots of information, lots of social interaction can all combine and create such
a noise in my head that my brain just says ‘NO!’ In the wider world I have many
things I can do to address this. I won’t go to the supermarket if I feel myself
getting overloaded – I’ll shop online instead. I may work from home instead of
going into the office or Just take nap and sleep it off. How I deal with the
church is no different. If I cannot focus on a service due to sensory difficulties
I will have to make adjustments. This could range from the extremes of
abandoning the service, or attending a quieter service at a different church to
simply sitting in a different place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">5: Provide Respite<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Day to day
life with autism can be exhausting both mentally and physically. The church can
provide a welcome haven of rest in an otherwise relentless battle. Quieter
reflective services, prayer rooms or simply having a space to sit, chill or
have a coffee can really help by providing space to reflect and rest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Practically
speaking as well perhaps you have the time to prepare a meal for a family
having a difficult time or baby sit for an evening. Things like this can be
especially helpful for families looking after a child on the spectrum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">6: Recognise I can’t always attend
the main Sunday service<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Maintaining
my connection with God and with you is important to me, but if I’m struggling
to leave the house then it’s over to you….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘You must
push through and get to church’ is something I’ve been told many times. No! Get
off your backside and come to me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sorry, I
won’t go into a rant here (well perhaps I will….) but assuming you believe that
God exists outside of the church building then perhaps you can come to me. A
bad episode usually comes hand in hand with a cocktail of mental health
problems, anxiety and depression being the most obvious. Please whatever you do
don’t mistake anxiety and depression with being anxious and feeling depressed.
They are different things. I can ‘feel’ depressed and push through within a few
days but depression is a debilitating illness and simply trying to just get on
with things can and has lead to serious consequences. If a bad episode hits,
the act of attending a big service (or indeed leaving the house) is out of the
question, so let me be steered by my doctors and trust that God will meet me
where I am and not where you want me to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps you
can help by bringing a bible to mine and study with me and pray with me. I can
feel connected and supported then without having to sacrifice my health or
trying to rush my recovery. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">7: Offer Mentorship<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">At home and
at work I benefit from mentorship. Having a point of contact who can guide me
and assist me when I encounter difficulties. This is no different in the
church, especially if I am serving on a team. The issues I have already
described in detail highlight some of the barriers to fully exploring my faith
in a church environment, but in a much smaller group with people I trust I have
a means to engage at a much greater level. Perhaps you have half an hour a week
you can spare to pray with someone on a regular basis? Could you commit to a
monthly bible study with someone? It doesn’t take much effort but could be
hugely beneficial.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">8: Don’t Try To Heal Me<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The issue
of curing autism is hugely divisive and many people hold extreme views on
whether a cure should or shouldn’t be sought. Making any statement about God’s
healing relating to autism could cause huge offence and be very damaging. Even
looking at the anxiety, depression and sensory elements that I doubt anyone
would be against healing, the topic of God’s healing is still tricky. As an
aspie I take things literally and if told that by smacking me in the head and
screaming ‘Be Healed’ (or a more subtle equivalent) – then I will be expecting
it to instantly happen. This hasn’t happened for me. Indeed trying to get God
to ‘cure’ my autism has actually been more damaging than helpful. I’m more at
ease concluding that God has created me with autism and I can use this to mine
and his benefit. There are many positive attributes to autism and many positive
qualities. The fact I relate to God and see the interpret the world slightly
differently doesn’t make it wrong, it just adds a new perspective. Reading a
bible verse I often pick up on details or have questions others simply don’t
see, surely this is a good thing?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now back to
the healing. I truly believe that if God is involved in my healthcare then I
should trust that the medication and professional support is steered by him.
Please don’t expect me to replace my healthcare with faith, let them complement
each other. Don’t stop praying, but be respectful and also put your trust in
God. He is the one in charge after all so if he wants to provide healing he
will do it regardless of whether it comes in the way you are expecting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">9: Change Your Expectations Of Me<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
pressure to volunteer and be a part of activities in the church can become intense.
There is always a need for volunteers and as part of a church family I am going
to want to serve as well. The major barrier for me is the support I receive in
doing this. At work a raft of adjustments are put in place and management are
accountable for making sure I have the tools and support to do my job well.
This is no different at church, only here I am a volunteer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was once
asked to be part of a set-up team. It wasn’t successful. I need written clear
instructions – no, A clearly defined role – no, flexibility if I can’t make the
shift – no. In fact if I couldn’t make it I would have to phone around and
arrange my own cover, something I couldn’t possibly do if I was having a
meltdown. I left, unable to do this task feeling like a failure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Actually many
times I’ve attempted to serve in any meaningful way and encountered the same
barriers. The excuse? ‘We’re only human, we all make mistakes.’ Great, but
would we use this excuse outside of church. I crashed the plane, but it’s OK
because I’m only human. I didn’t cook the chicken properly and gave someone
salmonella, but it’s OK because I’m only human. I blocked a member of staff
from working because I wouldn’t make an adaptation to his disability, but it’s
OK because I’m only human…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In a
workplace this would result in lawsuits galore, in the church it simply means
wasted talent. I stopped even attempting to serve as a result and I imagine
many others are in the same boat. Change your expectations a little and you might
find some great talent volunteering for you. Do you really want to stop someone
being an asset to your church for the sake of a small adjustment? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">10: Signpost Support<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">There are
often times you may not be able to provide support. Perhaps it falls outside
what can be practically offered by the church, or perhaps there is another
group or organisation that would be of use. One thing that is really helpful is
to be directed to someone that can be of help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One useful website I have discovered
for more information on this subject is a document from the Diocese of Oxford
titled Welcoming those with Autism and
Asperger Syndrome in our Churches and Communities (<a href="http://www.oxford.anglican.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/autism_guidelines.pdf">http://www.oxford.anglican.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/autism_guidelines.pdf</a>).
It is definitely well worth a read and gives some very well thought out
insight. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-48604735014693957902015-01-16T08:42:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:50:55.221-07:00Friendships<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">‘How do I make friends?’ is possibly the question I get asked most and certainly one that for much of my life I was asking myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">It is well known that communication difficulties and trouble understanding social situations are common traits for those on the spectrum so it probably isn’t a surprise that finding and maintaining friendships is a difficulty a lot of us share. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">For many years, especially as a teenager, I was desperately lonely and truly craved the friendships those around me seemed to just find naturally. In recent years things have been different. Yes, at times I can still feel isolated but I now have a very diverse and fulfilling group of friends, but getting there took a lot of will power and determination. So what is the magic formula?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Unfortunately there isn’t one. There are plenty of great ways to meet new people and build friendships that could be discussed, indeed it really does take a lot of effort, but this is something I want to cover in a future post. What I wanted to do instead was to introduce you to some of my closest friends and share with you a little about how we met and how our friendships developed. I hope this can give an example of how opportunities for finding great friendships can pretty much present themselves anywhere, even when you’re least expecting it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">1: Marq</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">I met Marq while on a walk with a club I’d joined. I wanted to get out and have more exercise so joining a group seemed a good idea. Marq was fairly new to the area and we chatted as we walked. We broke the ice over a childish giggle over the name of our walk’s destination… we were heading to a holiday resort in the forest called ‘Sandy Balls’! Before you get any ideas, the name refers to the sandy hills in the area. After the walk we swapped details and arranged to meet up the following week. Our friendship developed from there with evenings watching movies or trying out the latest PS3 game. Most weekends I’d go around Marq’s house for what would be dubbed ‘Steevy Sunday’. We have a very similar sense of humour and have built some very happy memories trying out fun activities or new eateries in the local area. Last year I was very proud to be Marq’s best man as he married Jade. It was so special to be part of their big day and I’m so happy to consider Jade a good friend as well. Steevy Sunday’s are still part of the diary, </span><span style="font-size: 13px;">although</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> now I live further away they are less regular, but that just makes them more fun to look forward to.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">2: Phil<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Phil is one of my few friends from my teenage years. Soon after receiving my diagnosis at 16 I joined a support group to meet others and build my social skills. It was at this group I met Phil. That period of my life was very difficult and the group provided an outlet and safe haven. Phil was the first friend I made who I felt free to open up to about the struggles I was going through. The experience of the group was very intense but created a lasting bond for us that has stayed the fifteen years since. Even today he is one of the few people I can be totally honest with when things get a bit tricky. We now live quite a long way apart but see each other when we can. He is now married to Pauline and they have four wonderful children together, three of them I’m very proud to be Godfather to. Isabella, Sebastian, Dominic and Harrison all make me very proud and it is so great to hear about their achievements.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">3: Kathryn<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I met Kathryn at a mutual friend’s house warming party. Actually, to be more precise I’d met her at the end of the party as we were both leaving! She had just moved to town and we swapped numbers and arranged to meet up. We bonded quickly over fun days out exploring the local area together, partying the nights away in town and putting the world to rights over a few glasses of wine or discussing our pet turtles. Kathryn lives with her partner Sophia and daughter Rosie about an hour from where I now live. I always look forward to their house parties, always the best and rarely uneventful – The attempt at combining two monopoly boards resulted in confused chaos and my shorts splitting clean in two during a drinking game gave everyone something to talk about, but fun is always had!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">4: Luke<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I met Luke a few years ago at an aspergers support group in a near by town. The group no longer meets but I have remained good friends with Luke ever since. Luke is the life and soul of any gathering and bursts with confidence. Every where we go Luke seems to know dozens of people so any outing together results in a large group forming seemingly from no where. I first got to know Luke properly when we shared a tent together at a summer festival, by the end of the weekend Luke had met and introduced me to pretty much everyone camping nearby, many whom I’m still in contact with! Luke is a great public speaker and advocate for those with aspergers, his enthusiasm for sharing his experiences to help others inspired me to follow his footsteps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">5: Ed & Davita<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I met Ed and Davita at Church and got to know them both while taking part in various activities and groups in the church. I can’t point out exactly when and where I came to consider them good friends, it just naturally evolved. There have been many times they have come to my rescue at difficult times in very practical ways, fantastic home cooked food or a comfy place to sleep if I need to get away from home for a few days. I’ve had many fun days out with Ed and Davita and their children Annabelle and Timothy. Last year we had a fun trip to Wilton House. The poor children didn’t get a chance to enjoy the play park, us adults were too busy commissioning the zip-line! We share a love of board games and together we’ve battled aliens to save the space ship, built cities, traded sheep and saved the world from epidemics. The friendship I have with Ed and Davita is very special in that I have had many evenings at theirs where we have simply sat and read or carried on with our own things but simply appreciated the company, as someone who finds socialising tiring, this really is a special attribute. As fellow adventurers, their book case has the best collection of travel books and maps to keep me occupied for hours!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUkPNulQHAKu1O-mFAuRIX1jApqhU7834GIFIH7K2aWgCs-3dSF0lVV0lvoai6TeQdWF21i3v_WhpTjPt5cVa01CReZSEORRQM1os8xmYG5zljW0VMd3sPj_4GqZtbUZuWKdhOWwSgvSs/s1600/Ed+&+Davita.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUkPNulQHAKu1O-mFAuRIX1jApqhU7834GIFIH7K2aWgCs-3dSF0lVV0lvoai6TeQdWF21i3v_WhpTjPt5cVa01CReZSEORRQM1os8xmYG5zljW0VMd3sPj_4GqZtbUZuWKdhOWwSgvSs/s1600/Ed+&+Davita.jpg" height="252" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">There are many others I would love to be able to mention here but I’m sure there will be chance to make special mention and thanks to some of my other friends in later posts. I hope you have enjoyed reading this post and it has given an insight into the random and diverse ways I’ve ended up finding some truly great friends in some unexpected places. In an upcoming post I will be sharing with you some of the </span><span style="font-size: 13px;">techniques</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13px;">and tips I've found helpful to use when building and establishing great friendships.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-23560873839899562002014-12-29T01:45:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:50:27.143-07:00Happy New Year<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The New
Year is fast approaching and as we say goodbye to 2014 many of us will be
thinking of things we want to change or achieve for the year to come. If you
are stuck for ideas on resolutions you can make that are fun and (at least
likely) to be achievable, here is a list to inspire you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrv7XA2DQujTuF5vy8dNn7Ubb_j6W7qNh4l_fQ2kvv05MQCCb5cxp7GThMuvyV-7MfWseruoVFPTt4lbtiQOtEm8X9QTFK2jdgCSCJ7eOlo3Kvdkq64M8xC3bNPaj6UylNFDHGSgAswQ/s1600/Image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrv7XA2DQujTuF5vy8dNn7Ubb_j6W7qNh4l_fQ2kvv05MQCCb5cxp7GThMuvyV-7MfWseruoVFPTt4lbtiQOtEm8X9QTFK2jdgCSCJ7eOlo3Kvdkq64M8xC3bNPaj6UylNFDHGSgAswQ/s1600/Image1.jpg" height="165" width="400" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Daily Photo Project<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaKzgZ-bGLLwgQ28pVf_dkl3PZnRXzNt-7yjOqYU5BkHJT6eiymPRto1vrdwCW5TwRl29K5ol-c1kMhLBQ0JuPwor92K3z8jYCdO64cJBitoaBdbCkWu6TvRgc2nkYv8RDpGRbcpR091Q/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaKzgZ-bGLLwgQ28pVf_dkl3PZnRXzNt-7yjOqYU5BkHJT6eiymPRto1vrdwCW5TwRl29K5ol-c1kMhLBQ0JuPwor92K3z8jYCdO64cJBitoaBdbCkWu6TvRgc2nkYv8RDpGRbcpR091Q/s1600/Image2.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The idea of
this resolution is simple, take one photo every day of the year. The photo can
be of anything, something representing the day’s events, something mundane,
something that interests you, it doesn’t matter but it must be taken that day.
With phones cameras and digital cameras so readily available it is easy to do
and a challenge I took on myself. I ended up carrying on for four years, but why?
What was the point?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">By making
myself look for something to photograph each and every day I started to see the
good in even the more lousy days. It gave me an appreciation and perspective on
my life I would have not otherwise seen. Looking back over the albums it’s what
had seemed as less memorable days that provided the most meaningful photos that
wouldn’t have otherwise been taken – my family meeting for lunch, the first
meal in my new home or the day my Dad rescued me when my car broke down. What
memories will you capture?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Grow Your Own Vegetables<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Spring will
soon be coming so what better time to start planning a new gardening project
for the year ahead. Growing your own vegetables is a great project for all the
family. Whether you have a garden to dig over or just a window sill to grow
herbs and chillies, there is something you could try. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Try New Foods<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIxWBMr-jNf0o6vsbNB_d6cu2kHxiIr0EHqeOf-w9mngKRy6kmnctXLzeO3vU0aVjgQ4-cPC5h-0za3wIWi3plP8W0Dpk064STgAZAkf-WlQ5w9ZWnqHMfk2OIufEuPrv72M9xxoaVtA/s1600/11+03+Taiwan+008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWIxWBMr-jNf0o6vsbNB_d6cu2kHxiIr0EHqeOf-w9mngKRy6kmnctXLzeO3vU0aVjgQ4-cPC5h-0za3wIWi3plP8W0Dpk064STgAZAkf-WlQ5w9ZWnqHMfk2OIufEuPrv72M9xxoaVtA/s1600/11+03+Taiwan+008.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">A lot of us
have told ourselves which foods we should cut out of our diet, but how about
the reverse? Instead of a list of banned items, how about challenging ourselves
to try new foods this year? Perhaps try replacing one item on your shopping
list for something new or get experimental with different cuisines and recipes.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This year I
joined some friends in doing weekly shop in a Chinese supermarket. Certainly
some of the items I tried won’t be on the menu again (dried squid and
jellyfish…) but it certainly gave me more confidence to try new recipes and I
can now cook up a mean stir-fry!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">A Daily Good Deed<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Wanting to
do some good in the world is a common resolution to have and definitely a
rewarding one, but for this resolution it’s not the one off big charitable
event I’m talking about, it’s a bit closer to home. Is there something you can
do today for the benefit of someone else? Perhaps you can spare some time to
help someone, volunteer or even something as simple as giving someone a smile
or reminding a loved one why they’re special to you. Is there something you can
do today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4XlTMa7ZZZh_iS5YYbqlTCd_WrW2NkEWZH4vupMzBcoUtCBXbpH9bI4AOmtnzILZEZZ-01HzGzXrnYStQ-8JY1VRPuQ9cRLlqo7oXjbA3-OvgeIIC9bFtikn2yv7aDg515p6Q0TZA1hw/s1600/Image3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4XlTMa7ZZZh_iS5YYbqlTCd_WrW2NkEWZH4vupMzBcoUtCBXbpH9bI4AOmtnzILZEZZ-01HzGzXrnYStQ-8JY1VRPuQ9cRLlqo7oXjbA3-OvgeIIC9bFtikn2yv7aDg515p6Q0TZA1hw/s1600/Image3.jpg" height="186" width="320" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Spend More Time with Friends and
Family<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s so
easy to loose touch with friends and family, like takes over and before we know
it another year has passed. Why not take the opportunity now to put time aside
in your brand new diary to spend time with those you care about. Even if you
can’t arrange to meet up in person, perhaps you could proactively set time
aside to phone or send an email. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fulfil a Life Dream<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Is there
something you’ve always dreamed of doing? Perhaps there’s somewhere you’ve
always wanted to visit? Could this be the year you fulfil this dream? Even if
it’s farfetched, why not make a start at making it happen? You never know where
it will lead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Last year I
fulfilled a dream of driving Route 66 across the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">USA</st1:country-region></st1:place>. Admittedly I had to compromise
a bit and trade the Cadillac for a budget hatchback and posh hotels for cheap
motels, but it was an experience of a lifetime and something I’m so pleased I
did while I had the opportunity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope this list has inspired you to
try something new in the next year, and whatever the New Year brings, I hope it
is full of fun and happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-78520654358857960562014-12-13T01:55:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:50:02.664-07:00Coping With Christmas<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Coping With Christmas<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDwkrnmmRazRzy5SqveUERv86UF3jg8wSG7sbCHNhOQEmtAAwmPgj-blL0cKTY-iBqMw0YlyIGjwsAqW3UU1oICdfDxXWyPsJmmy0n8MSqzVl0BFLc1rw142WsVv43YO32QsmqyyoK4o0/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDwkrnmmRazRzy5SqveUERv86UF3jg8wSG7sbCHNhOQEmtAAwmPgj-blL0cKTY-iBqMw0YlyIGjwsAqW3UU1oICdfDxXWyPsJmmy0n8MSqzVl0BFLc1rw142WsVv43YO32QsmqyyoK4o0/s1600/Image2.jpg" height="309" width="320" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The holiday
season is upon us and it’s time again to take part in fun filled festivities,
eat turkey, fill our houses with lights and decorations and eagerly listen for
the sound of sleigh bells announcing the arrival of Santa with exciting
presents. Family and friends gather and share joy and happiness to one and all
and we make our way to the atmospheric carol service where we celebrate in the
Christian heritage of this wonderful time of year. The lights and commotion all
get too much, the noise is deafening, the chores and pressure to all
encompassing and all routine is destroyed…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
excitement and expectations of a perfect Christmas can be a challenge for those
affected by autism. For me there are parts of the holiday season I really love,
but others that are a minefield. So what can we do to make Christmas ho ho ho,
rather than ho ho NO!?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In this
post I’d like to share with you a few strategies I have found helpful. I hope
that if you or your child struggles over Christmas then you might find some of
these helpful and enjoy reading this post. You may have tips that you have
found helpful to you that I’ve not thought of so please feel welcome to add
these to the comments section. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Make a plan</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0i-M0pE77__wKJ2jDeXlg0kF-dUzisS1pMiD9Ug1dLokNbPL2DMzbHomeeP5kWdGMA_bLINsNHYgQQ_svJjpQ_MXFLqPOlA6NiX_ogABE6MjrcMNGUA5vVLwx3fDV3JliQsQnTA5ESCw/s1600/Image4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0i-M0pE77__wKJ2jDeXlg0kF-dUzisS1pMiD9Ug1dLokNbPL2DMzbHomeeP5kWdGMA_bLINsNHYgQQ_svJjpQ_MXFLqPOlA6NiX_ogABE6MjrcMNGUA5vVLwx3fDV3JliQsQnTA5ESCw/s1600/Image4.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Regardless of how or if we celebrate Christmas
ourselves, it is likely that it will have an impact on our usual routines. Work
schedules are likely to change (in my case my office closes for a whole two
weeks), schools break, shops have different opening hours, clubs and support
networks often break. As someone who lives by my routines this is challenging
so I try and plan ahead as much as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">What is key for me is plotting out what is
happening and when in a format that’s very easy to see. I use a page per day
diary but in the past have used a wall chart. Whatever works best for you is
fine as we all have our own ways of making sense of information.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Being able to clearly see where my commitments
are in advance helps me to adjust to changes in routine over the holidays. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Set a budget</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Christmas is an
expensive time. Everything from stocking up the fridge with goodies, buying
presents for loved ones, travelling to see family, parties and social
commitments can send the budget sky-high.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">It is a good idea to
set a clear budget before wild spending on credit. How much do you want to
spend on each person’s presents etc, can you afford to attend both of the
Christmas parties you’ve been invited to? Planning ahead can save the stressful
and expensive bill from arriving come the New Year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Make your OWN traditions</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">It is often easy to get weighed down with
following what you think you ‘should’ be doing over Christmas. Just because you
‘always’ go to that Christmas market doesn’t mean you ‘have to’ do it.
Christmas can work around you and your needs and it is fun making your own
traditions tailored to you. Get creative and think of little things you can do
that might make the season all the more fun and personal for you and your
family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Growing up we had some great little traditions
in our household. My favourite was on Christmas Eve. I had a Christmas
Pillowcase that needed to be left on my bed for the elves to collect. I’d take
great care decorating it and leave it out ready. Without fail it would vanish
and in the morning it would have reappeared in the lounge filled with presents.
I knew from an early age that it was most likely my parents removing the pillow
case, but they insisted they wouldn’t confess to anything until I was 18. Each
year my attempts to catch them in the act got more and more elaborate, but they
always managed to remove the case without me catching them. This game of cat
and mouse actually served a really good role at distracting me and keeping me
occupied while mum set about the laborious task of preparing the meal for the
following day and getting the house ready for visitors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">What traditions do you have?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit19CX9s7ZAHc4HP-xIsk1OdBYtLmWGdqT_EQM5UUSiDsN05oe5-_PxQjHyeSYv6MXMn5HWX5o6Rnw4yPuRL3YlwpwpYoRxhRKnf4zaYCxZiM_K8YeGIe_63KBfCY0-gtg5VJ1z7he0uQ/s1600/Christmas+Pillowcase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit19CX9s7ZAHc4HP-xIsk1OdBYtLmWGdqT_EQM5UUSiDsN05oe5-_PxQjHyeSYv6MXMn5HWX5o6Rnw4yPuRL3YlwpwpYoRxhRKnf4zaYCxZiM_K8YeGIe_63KBfCY0-gtg5VJ1z7he0uQ/s1600/Christmas+Pillowcase.jpg" height="249" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Make decorating an event</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">As someone who doesn’t like change, returning
home to find a random tree in the lounge would be a bit much for me! In our
house decorating was a family event. We would all be involved in placing the
decorations and I often spent time making decorations for the tree. This
involvement helped me adjust to the changes and helped build excitement rather
than fear of the commotion of the season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">My favourite activity was always building the
gingerbread house and nativity scene we would place in the shrank. It had a
full set of sugar figurines. Every year I pleaded with mum to let me eat one. I
was never allowed, but they had been in use since the 70s so may not have been
that tasty!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Get some exercise</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZTJC4sUcJ-3jlaALHFmtO43xYeBe_crc0By2FxEOhkovPDlGg4hPSTddSHkXzXWhxMFu1zBzPRbpYgXlU0Hm-dLQwoWCb1MQ5_aI7aIKSRuLiqpdAuYTSNBBoKeatMonplZ8aeJSrO_w/s1600/Image6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZTJC4sUcJ-3jlaALHFmtO43xYeBe_crc0By2FxEOhkovPDlGg4hPSTddSHkXzXWhxMFu1zBzPRbpYgXlU0Hm-dLQwoWCb1MQ5_aI7aIKSRuLiqpdAuYTSNBBoKeatMonplZ8aeJSrO_w/s1600/Image6.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">With the cold days and long dark nights it can be very easy
to spend the whole holiday wrapped up warm inside. I always find it helpful to
get exercise and importantly, fresh air. Perhaps you can head out on a walk
around the neighbourhood to see the Christmas lights, go hunting for pine cones
to get crafty and turn into decorations or avoid the traffic by walking to the
shops.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Set aside a quiet sanctuary</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">With all the noise and excitement I find it very
helpful to set aside a quiet place to escape to if it all gets too much. Being
able to take a time out from the celebrations to relax and recharge can help so
much and is something I’d recommend to anyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Know your socialising limits</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Christmas is one of the times of the year when
the much sought after social invites come in thick and fast. Work Christmas
Parties, Family Gatherings, Clubs Christmas Socials…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">It is easy to say yes to everything and for me I
can get overwhelmed faster than I realise. I try and set limits to how much I
engage in these parties. So often I can get carried along with the flow and
find I’ve over done it and I’m at capacity. There is a fine line between having
a great evening and becoming exhausted and having a bad time. Know your limits
and hopefully you’ll have a great time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Take time to get back into routines after
Christmas</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0nS2oC3Ohpu89OF8jwkk89wRe8rQN0eO_Z5parYObPBwkDRgRrSY4SYhYxvGo1vMwUXLSfgagj2S4o_8skYtJKiHJRbWC0KEymGqRI3CvY1tWlZjQ8xAetSScjuI5lOH_4o_1HRVDNUo/s1600/Image5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0nS2oC3Ohpu89OF8jwkk89wRe8rQN0eO_Z5parYObPBwkDRgRrSY4SYhYxvGo1vMwUXLSfgagj2S4o_8skYtJKiHJRbWC0KEymGqRI3CvY1tWlZjQ8xAetSScjuI5lOH_4o_1HRVDNUo/s1600/Image5.jpg" height="320" width="209" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Whatever your feelings about Christmas, It’s all
over fast and everything returns to normal. If there have been major disruptions
to your routine it’s good to return to your usual routine as smoothly as
possible. Try and plan ahead if you can. For example if you need to get up for
work or school early then give yourself a few fays to readjust rather than
suddenly switching your wake up call from 11am to 7am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope you've found this of interest. I'd love to hear what
you enjoy most about Christmas and how you overcome the challenges you may find
with this time of year. Feel free to let me know via the comments or Facebook. Merry
Christmas to you all!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-65402165926381512642014-11-27T12:39:00.001-08:002015-03-27T07:49:36.074-07:00Thoughts This Thanksgiving<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Like most
of my fellow Brits, Thanksgiving comes and goes each November with barely
anyone even being aware of the feasts and celebrations happening over the great
</span><st1:place style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;" w:st="on">Atlantic Ocean</st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">. It is just another wet and
drizzly November day, like all the others. This year I decided to take part
myself, but first I better find out what it’s all about…</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">My
knowledge of Thanksgiving is it involves giving thanks and food, lots of food. </span><st1:place style="font-size: 10pt;" w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Turkey</st1:country-region></st1:place><span style="font-size: 10pt;">,
marshmallows, sweet potatoes, marshmallows, pumpkin pie and more marshmallows.
According to a quick check on Google, this appears to be accurate. Food is
definitely something that I can definitely get involved in but it was the
‘giving thanks’ part that particularly interested me. This got me thinking
about what I’m thankful for, so this week I’ll be dedicating my post to my
wonderful parents.</span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VeAX-QWXheUqTNT0AZ2A8Lr8K45UfLP7ZAIh5kxdSdg3SzIasH6oQO-5lPDJ4EEL76i0a5duIcnikZHag1PcYFxNYHAjv6k7JblNVXLvp2RCdEEoZdk6g_2c8i1EswWl2Pr1n3uJQ6g/s1600/1989+12+20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VeAX-QWXheUqTNT0AZ2A8Lr8K45UfLP7ZAIh5kxdSdg3SzIasH6oQO-5lPDJ4EEL76i0a5duIcnikZHag1PcYFxNYHAjv6k7JblNVXLvp2RCdEEoZdk6g_2c8i1EswWl2Pr1n3uJQ6g/s1600/1989+12+20.jpg" height="265" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">My parents
are always there for me and I don’t take the time to thank them for all they do
for me anywhere near enough. They have always been my biggest supporters,
advocates, inspiration and friends. They are the first on the scene when things
go wrong and get the brunt of the worst days. I know what a strain and
challenge this must be for them and although at the time it might not seem so,
I hope they know how much I really appreciate them for all they do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The last
few months have been particularly difficult. A severe dip in my health and a
number of troubling bureaucratic hurdles blocking access to support have
resulted in me needing to move home to be able to access better support. Mum
and Dad have stepped in and helped the best they can to make the move run
smoothly. As I type away Dad is down at the hospital trying to get a follow-up
appointment arranged following a rather nasty episode last week. When even
getting a hospital appointment is as unnecessarily stressful and complicated as
it is, their help has been a lifesaver.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Aside from
the support when things aren’t going so well I wanted to mention something that
my parents have always done that as a child I never fully appreciated but for
which I’m particularly thankful for – encouraging my hobbies and interests.
They didn’t just show an interest in what I was into at the time, but they’d
get involved themselves. This helped me achieve so much, build my confidence a
create so many happy memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I’ve talked
in previous posts about my interest in fungi. I will always have fond memories
of walks in the forest with my dad searching for a rare find together, or
crawling through the undergrowth to get the best photo. When I developed an
interest in travel there was always an opportunity to travel somewhere new
together. I can always say I conquered all of the compass points of the </span><st1:country-region style="font-size: 10pt;" w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> with my dad.
Travelling all the way to Muckle Flugga, the </span><st1:place style="font-size: 10pt;" w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region></st1:place><span style="font-size: 10pt;">’s northernmost outpost was great
fun for me, but to share it with my dad made is so much more special. Mum has
an amazing creative side to her and this was always an opportunity for some
family bonding too. Growing up there was always something to do, from baking,
building dens with sofa cushions to lego towers reaching the ceiling. There was
always something creative to get involved in.</span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So this Thanksgiving
I think it is a perfect time to say thank you for being the most caring,
generous and wonderful parents anyone could ask for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope you
enjoyed reading this post and I’d love to hear from you about what you are
doing for thanksgiving and share your stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJSF7vnuZmIu_S30ga4akpR41J2EAyYRyjX5TjsWAPnuOUNw1dAxahAAnLugDjZAzlb7NmgzuS6C7Hkz3icgd4Mx_5cO_vuhzq8hJUif8vL1FQjhSolzYvGZ436kOwHKPRqfhlfwXdO9w/s1600/2005+07+08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJSF7vnuZmIu_S30ga4akpR41J2EAyYRyjX5TjsWAPnuOUNw1dAxahAAnLugDjZAzlb7NmgzuS6C7Hkz3icgd4Mx_5cO_vuhzq8hJUif8vL1FQjhSolzYvGZ436kOwHKPRqfhlfwXdO9w/s1600/2005+07+08.jpg" height="640" width="396" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The day my parents wanted to try on a new pair of shoes...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjERmpkz4ethT8kDB-TncxT-yvAXM6x_ktfk1ia0tLO7FkOSpIoff0Y6iOwFYtaInyfhrcLF6zg2iZwfXO3xusHyooa_7Beum_zn7FWGFmwqLs3-PaKPXRcEbUaOHNpR1lCoNrD4mCEHlk/s1600/1991+02+05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjERmpkz4ethT8kDB-TncxT-yvAXM6x_ktfk1ia0tLO7FkOSpIoff0Y6iOwFYtaInyfhrcLF6zg2iZwfXO3xusHyooa_7Beum_zn7FWGFmwqLs3-PaKPXRcEbUaOHNpR1lCoNrD4mCEHlk/s1600/1991+02+05.jpg" height="296" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">well I guess it was easier to join in rather than get me to sit normally...</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwp2fm49wJT74VBrNU-UWHIu-1E4ctbV1y4yCimHESBV6J-6UhAgV3XYa_pJRchfzQew_zUB_0-Wlmch82AqcIOl8EhUq-crMeWpxXw9IfsaFx4sWfYad00WHQSSBqMK_IkmvK8QAbeE/s1600/1993+08+04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwp2fm49wJT74VBrNU-UWHIu-1E4ctbV1y4yCimHESBV6J-6UhAgV3XYa_pJRchfzQew_zUB_0-Wlmch82AqcIOl8EhUq-crMeWpxXw9IfsaFx4sWfYad00WHQSSBqMK_IkmvK8QAbeE/s1600/1993+08+04.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">During my 'world domination' phase...</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEija3_3Vq5Mq8bGzoWVSQjLYa42ddXbpbBfPHRuX5J5-Jk7Wj03az-423Dgw9bNQf0oxPFFjLeE0i0tt000kC1a8AvpKKIV1YujFbiWTvhPpW7S3lBrPwQ_irav6MD7jro0Oqvx3Gr_bhc/s1600/1990+12+02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEija3_3Vq5Mq8bGzoWVSQjLYa42ddXbpbBfPHRuX5J5-Jk7Wj03az-423Dgw9bNQf0oxPFFjLeE0i0tt000kC1a8AvpKKIV1YujFbiWTvhPpW7S3lBrPwQ_irav6MD7jro0Oqvx3Gr_bhc/s1600/1990+12+02.jpg" height="640" width="552" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This didn't last long, and I'm not sure Simon Cowell would have been impressed...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwMUUGjFqH9634KaoO9iCip9O0TGPUZFBPwAaUpb289gFAoQR1xoIy0JbWF47lNW3CY1iJHsrWb8UOvlnAkjavn34VdMHHieWBtJaj8rMbw0dubY8_QgBFYSj79pMXBXwPtlSrHIvILZ4/s1600/1988+03+02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwMUUGjFqH9634KaoO9iCip9O0TGPUZFBPwAaUpb289gFAoQR1xoIy0JbWF47lNW3CY1iJHsrWb8UOvlnAkjavn34VdMHHieWBtJaj8rMbw0dubY8_QgBFYSj79pMXBXwPtlSrHIvILZ4/s1600/1988+03+02.jpg" height="640" width="449" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I guess building a sandcastle on a pebble beach in February was never going to be a winner... although the red boot / balaclava combo definitely is - bravo on the style choice mum & dad!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9phyphenhyphenO_N0wWz_LXAbr8dpv91qEkyRwHD7t3ruvyhL6wLUG2c9ZoiPBuV3s93BWwtR-xfa6Gmy9ZltYCfEwd93xkPVQukNxef1M9-bpJdSYbpZK-bVjmzVlI4acpSKTxM7VsU72UuFDzQ/s1600/1989+05+11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW9phyphenhyphenO_N0wWz_LXAbr8dpv91qEkyRwHD7t3ruvyhL6wLUG2c9ZoiPBuV3s93BWwtR-xfa6Gmy9ZltYCfEwd93xkPVQukNxef1M9-bpJdSYbpZK-bVjmzVlI4acpSKTxM7VsU72UuFDzQ/s1600/1989+05+11.jpg" height="295" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loving life with my spacehopper - the best form of transport ever invented!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnm-_e0P6xNXWEFOyK_PjwnU7WJuCPgfwhOvlqyh6_vWbwOVl4bIJjiAya_hqzLvrDy_W_sCfzMK9VzxOHWbvaLidNd_OqyQx9ZEBkxGZVwsyNQnBIqRcDA1h5dp6kaq2iJzOOk1BfOQ4/s1600/10368386_10152845123084626_6013916936484532182_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnm-_e0P6xNXWEFOyK_PjwnU7WJuCPgfwhOvlqyh6_vWbwOVl4bIJjiAya_hqzLvrDy_W_sCfzMK9VzxOHWbvaLidNd_OqyQx9ZEBkxGZVwsyNQnBIqRcDA1h5dp6kaq2iJzOOk1BfOQ4/s1600/10368386_10152845123084626_6013916936484532182_n.jpg" height="326" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So as not to feel left out, here is the whole family with my amazing sisters. (I'm the bald dribbly one in the middle)</td></tr>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-11891974413765339582014-11-14T12:00:00.000-08:002015-03-27T07:49:08.783-07:00My Aspie Moments - A Photo journal of some of my more 'autistic' moments<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I take a lot of photos, I enjoy
capturing the memories and moments of life and it is great to look back and
remember some of the fun adventures had. Back in 2009 I started a New Year's
project to take a photo each day, something interesting or significant about
the day to remember it by. It struck me that it was the uneventful and routine
days that brought back the fondest memories, times with friends and family but
also capturing some of my 'autistic' traits. I would like to share some of
these with you in this week's blog. Perhaps you can relate to some of these,
perhaps this is a new insight for you but either way I do hope you enjoy this
week's delve into some of my aspie moments...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">You often feel
left outside of social groups...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">When you're
overloaded your words come out in a random order...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">But you'll find
good friends who accept your quirks...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">And when you're
with them you know how to have a good time...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">There is always
an escape route planned in case things get too much when going out
socialising...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">You get used to
spending time with yourself...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Sometimes you
just need time alone to take in the world...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">And that's fine
because being alone is great!...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Sometimes life
can feel precarious...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">You can't
always read the warning signs when things are going wrong in your life...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The world can
seem scary and full of danger...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">So you plan
ahead and keep a routine...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">You like things
neat and in order...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">When you want
to unwind you always have the best reading materials at hand...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">And know how to
play the best games...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">And at the end
of the day you know that being autistic is awesome...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-14383576412507018892014-10-31T10:59:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:48:55.936-07:0010 Phrases that mean something very different to aspies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOo1IvegBKUsI1km5qAaZOb9I4p2972sKEEQb4E3ocNIq1i7R9LpekzFqiWSqb3BMaJ72AF0wvCpm7uMrDXe10v_1IuBoVjC-ZaslKgNmv55KebtVeXaRWmgJxcAATgE7BWe2mKSXQUuI/s1600/Image2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOo1IvegBKUsI1km5qAaZOb9I4p2972sKEEQb4E3ocNIq1i7R9LpekzFqiWSqb3BMaJ72AF0wvCpm7uMrDXe10v_1IuBoVjC-ZaslKgNmv55KebtVeXaRWmgJxcAATgE7BWe2mKSXQUuI/s1600/Image2.jpg" height="320" width="270" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">It's not a secret that I take things
very literally. It's a common trait for us aspies to not understand when
something is </span></div>
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meant to be taken seriously or is just a saying, and this can
create some confusion. What might be just a simple request or statement can
lead me to blankly staring at you with a quizzical expression on my face or
partaking in some rather bizarre behaviour. But why? We've got our wonderfully
quirky and bizarre language to thank for that! Have you ever stopped and
thought about how random some of our everyday sayings are? This week I've
compiled a list of the 10 sayings that mean something very different to my
literal way of thinking. So lets get started, make yourself comfortable and...<o:p></o:p><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">1. Take a seat...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Take it where? Why would you want me to
take a seat, is that not stealing? Oh, I guess that you want me to be seated so
I'll sit down. That's when you say...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">2. You alright?</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Why wouldn't I be alright? Ah yes this
is just a greeting, umm what's the correct response....'you alright mate?' - of
course, silly me, but I'd still like to answer your random greeting-question
and actually tell you if I'm alright. You try and make things better by
saying...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">3. Every cloud has a silver lining...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Well no they don't. Clouds aren't known
for their silver content, you never tend to hear weather forecasts warning of
low pressure systems bringing in heavy silver accumulation, turning to gold at
high altitude. That would certainly make jewellery cheaper. Speaking of the
weather it is raining hard today. Yes you say...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA7vPYUj_9YyNAb-65Jthxof87QBEKkHISTvFzyujbV-nXpDqTlowrBBfvJM0pOl4odrFLL6R4hxcMVVhT9mhcIdW68aXChuKPIoD03zJwvwi9EkXCtNbwGsiBy-mphNipjLWiw5mi1RA/s1600/Image6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA7vPYUj_9YyNAb-65Jthxof87QBEKkHISTvFzyujbV-nXpDqTlowrBBfvJM0pOl4odrFLL6R4hxcMVVhT9mhcIdW68aXChuKPIoD03zJwvwi9EkXCtNbwGsiBy-mphNipjLWiw5mi1RA/s1600/Image6.jpg" height="200" width="198" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">3. It's raining cats and dogs....</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">No, it's definitely not. It's raining water.
How are you mistaking that wet stuff out there to be furry pets? It's not
unheard of for there to be isolated fish or frog showers but not cats and dogs.
Do you need to 'take a seat' as you say, I think you might be hallucinating.
You don't seem impressed with my observations and tell me to...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipcjze7aG6QluMdPtCH5a7Mx26UZK385D87oePTXbUvMHKj9Ot0vuOWFbe9tpIAz-pQpPdzSwMPaDSJgGtmWzb-epYP8MKKeg1DVBBhZGhj6PfozK-9w7XfZB86LCNETz4cxCuAQNwYyo/s1600/Image7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipcjze7aG6QluMdPtCH5a7Mx26UZK385D87oePTXbUvMHKj9Ot0vuOWFbe9tpIAz-pQpPdzSwMPaDSJgGtmWzb-epYP8MKKeg1DVBBhZGhj6PfozK-9w7XfZB86LCNETz4cxCuAQNwYyo/s1600/Image7.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jxyNuIgLK5Qw7bKj8pq62FXZ4UfVOlyLHjsMg4eWbHjEa8M3lLNqLmBUIvH2zHhbN9kQltcUBLK1yQn4TpGneUuy7blxIt6nH-8o0rM8JvJu81rpOIXMCL7FxRzj3WErcTojsJdq3_k/s1600/Image8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-jxyNuIgLK5Qw7bKj8pq62FXZ4UfVOlyLHjsMg4eWbHjEa8M3lLNqLmBUIvH2zHhbN9kQltcUBLK1yQn4TpGneUuy7blxIt6nH-8o0rM8JvJu81rpOIXMCL7FxRzj3WErcTojsJdq3_k/s1600/Image8.jpg" height="200" width="125" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">6. Put a sock in it...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Put a sock in
what? What purpose will putting my socks anywhere other than on my feet have
exactly? I guess I better take my socks off and wait for further instructions.
You seem exasperated and tell me to stop wasting time and...</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">4. Pull your socks up...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Whoa, now you just told me to put my
socks in something and now you're cross because you want me to pull them up?
Seriously dude, what's your fascination with my socks? As I put them back on
you notice how great they look ( I have fabulous socks!) and compliment them by
saying that they're...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">7. The bees knees...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">No, they're not. There is no comparison
between bees knees and anything other than bees knees. How my fantastic socks
(or indeed anything else) could be described as being 'the bees knees' is
beyond me. Knees aren't even a bee's best feature. I'd go for their bright
colours or efficient pollen collection ability. Why then is it OK for you to
compare my splendid socks with bees knees but I'd be the odd one if I say 'hey
Jimmy I think your new phone is as great as a bees pollen collection ability!'
Actually this is what I might start to say from now on. You laugh and say I'm...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">8. taking the piss...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Right so lets use my powers of
deduction here, by 'taking the seat' you meant 'sit down' so by 'taking the
piss' you want me to sit in the..... oh..... Yeurgh. WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">No! you say, it means you were being
silly; you put me right about this one fast and tell me to...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">9. Lighten up...</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">You saying I'm fat.... well I guess I
could do with getting a bit lighter, I have been eating a lot of cakes
recently. No? That's not what you meant, Perhaps you want the room to 'lighten
up' I'll turn on the lamp. Anyway now it's now coming to the end of my blog
post, We say our goodbyes and as I leave the room you say...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">10. Break a leg</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Charming...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Thank you for taking the time to read
this list. I'd love to hear your stories about taking things literally. Perhaps
you have some funny stories or experiences to share. Please feel free to
comment and share this post.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-56059599986717133742014-10-17T14:19:00.003-07:002015-03-27T07:47:56.550-07:00Fanatical about Fungi<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz0tETazilaZMayoJ2XhliTW8FjmMxbIDDGwwjxNC4-2ePvpzji95yp5pmJVmfXOi0d6Lt8OGeOc-Nj7AiZaVS-S231sfYx7QnmzIdRyugjs40A2Cg-Ic24WGc5co7H8yyCK7EEuJfDTk/s1600/1988+09+01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz0tETazilaZMayoJ2XhliTW8FjmMxbIDDGwwjxNC4-2ePvpzji95yp5pmJVmfXOi0d6Lt8OGeOc-Nj7AiZaVS-S231sfYx7QnmzIdRyugjs40A2Cg-Ic24WGc5co7H8yyCK7EEuJfDTk/s1600/1988+09+01.jpg" height="331" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Look!
Look! LOOK!’ I shrieked at my friend Marq. ‘A Clathrus Ruber!’, ‘LOOK!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSTaS4aiRAhVbRGr0-gNpkaSMSKnYXvfW8dAEQIj0wo3ewNoTQrG973RFrQG-0896Fr5GEEGY2FTDJPnwGb9GX4Dm6c2kPsl1VzfWx8iNzWaJmRynVPQjx1QhM9rYSiZ-SXNSGk-KiCb4/s1600/IMG_4522.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSTaS4aiRAhVbRGr0-gNpkaSMSKnYXvfW8dAEQIj0wo3ewNoTQrG973RFrQG-0896Fr5GEEGY2FTDJPnwGb9GX4Dm6c2kPsl1VzfWx8iNzWaJmRynVPQjx1QhM9rYSiZ-SXNSGk-KiCb4/s1600/IMG_4522.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hopped
around excitably while pointing at a mass of red mushroom emerging from the
undergrowth like an alien egg. Flies buzzed in the putrid miasma emitting from
this strange form.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">What we had
stumbled upon on our quiet walk was a rare fungus not often seen in the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region></st1:place>.
This startling form emits a smell of rotting flesh to attract flies to disperse
it’s spores. I was VERY excited. Marq just looked at me and said ‘wonderful’ as
every true friend should say in this situation. The expression on his face
however suggested he felt this was rather less than wonderful. Still my
enthusiasm wasn’t curbed and my interest in fungi had been truly reignited.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This
interest dates back to early childhood. Like most children on the spectrum I
developed intense and obsessive interests. Questions often pop up on the forums
from parents asking how they can get their child to be less obsessive and develop
more mainstream interests; my parents just went along with it. I had been
developing a slightly odd interest in drain pipes, probably because the book I
was currently reading involved a boogy-man who lived in the sewers. The upgrade
of my attentions from sewers to fungi was probably gladly welcomed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It all
started one late summer afternoon when I found a group of brightly coloured
mushrooms growing near my Grandma’s house. Being at the ‘what’s that?’ age my
dad decided to buy me an identification book so I could figure out for myself
what they were. The book was vast, hundreds of pages filled with pictures of
fungi, listing their Latin names and various identification details ranging
from size, habitat, spore colour and shape to technical biological and chemical
factors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you are
not wanting to promote an obsession in an autistic child – DON’T buy them a
scientific manual at the age of 5! I
quickly decided that I needed to find ALL of the fungi. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_K9iORvzHThZjK6k-P4RK3gX-0LQptibNViXKEMFDqiQy7tlvK7G9isHDi_JoS15snAdmG6B0hI-JjAaLQWV9lO8XXr50ug1VXUPSuQVKVFn0warQ7FVxlwvNfDylNLwsyFLztBFY_Zc/s1600/10+09+015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_K9iORvzHThZjK6k-P4RK3gX-0LQptibNViXKEMFDqiQy7tlvK7G9isHDi_JoS15snAdmG6B0hI-JjAaLQWV9lO8XXr50ug1VXUPSuQVKVFn0warQ7FVxlwvNfDylNLwsyFLztBFY_Zc/s1600/10+09+015.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">My long
suffering parents took an approach to my interests that I only fully appreciate
now I’m an adult – they got involved and made it a family and fun time. The
interest in fungi allowed for some great walks out in the forest; Dad trailing
behind as I bounced about through the undergrowth. We had art sessions
involving taking spore prints and sculpting play-dough fungi, and forming some
great memories. It’s clear looking back that my rigidity as a child could be
loosened if there was a link to what ever interests I had at the time and if I
could see a point to it. I remember my mum wanting to go to a Country House for
a day trip. I was more than happy, I’d been told there were gardens that might
contain fungi! I have very fond memories of the trips and adventures we got up
to as a family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I quickly
learned how to identify my finds and was able to identify many of the tasty
edibles and know which to avoid. I was never overly concerned about eating my
finds, I actually don’t like the taste of mushrooms at all and the regular
shop-style mushrooms are ones I always found fairly dull (they are just plain
looking white things after all) but a clear memory I have was being told not to
touch one as it was poisonous. I was rather aghast by this clear ignorance of
my expert knowledge and proceeded to educate this ignoramus of the clear
difference between this Agaricus Bisporus and it’s poisonous cousin the
Agaricus Xanthodermus. This was my teacher and I was 7….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As an adult
I’ve learned to tone things down and my interest is reserved for occasional
walks in the forest. I regularly get people bringing their finds to me at work
to find if it’s a tasty treat. Often it’s not, but it’s still a great ice
breaker and makes some interesting coffee time chat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsPdh31eCc7gti-EhOBsqqRzrnqXao1ipTJJbLmVocQHHFXVqc1B3M0-6SXwCTjjsNHejKunMq5JYk4HG-FZY1vzpl3t4i0S-DsbiVDgaZ65650N5RkC7tzs5-Tlg46iDB1L-MP1pQu0/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsPdh31eCc7gti-EhOBsqqRzrnqXao1ipTJJbLmVocQHHFXVqc1B3M0-6SXwCTjjsNHejKunMq5JYk4HG-FZY1vzpl3t4i0S-DsbiVDgaZ65650N5RkC7tzs5-Tlg46iDB1L-MP1pQu0/s1600/photo.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the
species I’d longed to see as a child was the Common Earthstar. Starting life
like the well known puffball, this round fungus emerges and quickly cracks open
into a star shape. The arms of the star fold down and majestically lift the
spore-bearing ball away from the ground. It was so different looking that I circled
it in the book with my crayon and spent the next 25 years searching for one.
Despite being supposedly common it stayed hidden from my sight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Last
weekend I decided to have an old fashioned Father-Son day out in the woods to
mark the start of this year’s fungus season. We chose Crab Wood, one of our
regular spots as a child. To our amazement the first find of the day was the
earthstar we’d spend all these years searching for. Sitting proudly in clear
sight by the main path, there she was in all her glory, welcoming us to the
woods and inviting us in for another fun day foraging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope
you’ve enjoyed reading about my story. I’d love to hear your stories of how you
enjoy your interests or your child’s interests. I’d especially love to hear
from you if you’ve found a way of combining your interests with employment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-36179923861860801842014-10-03T08:49:00.001-07:002015-03-27T07:47:30.611-07:0010 Steps to Independence <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mum, can you do my ironing for me please?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I put the
phone down feeling frustrated and annoyed again that I’m still having to make
these calls despite being in my 30s. I’d always assumed that by my 30s I’d be
living a fully independent life. This didn’t include asking my Mum to help me
iron! The reality has been different; and although I can enjoy periods of time
in self-sufficient tranquillity, there are also extended times where very basic
tasks require the intervention and support of others. The pressures and strain
that autism brings can become overwhelming and the feeling of loss of
independence can become despairing and frustrating, so what can we do to stand
on our own two feet and stay on top? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve by no
means got this sussed and it’s a continuous learning curve but in this week’s
blog I wanted to share 10 approaches that have helped me maintain to live a
fulfilling life so far. These are approaches that have worked well for me but
as we are all different they may or may not be of use to you. I’d love to hear
any tips or techniques that have helped you, please feel free to share your
thoughts or questions in the comments or message me. I’ll expand on each one in
future blogs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1: Keep a Diary<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">If this
list was limited to just one item it would be this, my diary. Visually seeing
what I’m doing and when is the foundation to my independence. I use a colour
coded system to help balance my time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Red =
Important appointments (work, medical appointments etc, these have fixed times
that if I can’t make require me to lot someone know)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Orange =
Chores (Housework, personal admin, shopping etc, these need to be done but
don’t have a fixed time)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Green =
Down time (Personal time to relax or unwind, hobbies etc)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Blue =
Social time (time with friends, clubs or socialising)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Using
colour I can immediately see if I’m doing too much and helps me plan my time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">2: Get to Know Yourself<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘But I do
know myself!’ I hear you cry! Yes you do, but for me the start point in
building any form of independence is to really understand and know myself. It’s
all very well if my parents or friends can spot the signs that I am getting
frustrated, angry, tired, but can I?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Developing
a self awareness is an ongoing and lengthy process but one that has really
helped me. Simply analysing situations after they’ve happened and learning to
recognise the emotions and behaviours in advance is a great tool to have in
managing things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As an
example I’ve learned that in the build up to a meltdown I feel tired, my
attention ‘flickers’, I feel nauseous, My thought process becomes very
pessimistic. Recognising these signs gives me a much larger head start in
keeping myself safe and prepared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Questions
you could ask yourself are what makes you relaxed? What makes you angry? What
time of day am I most alert?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3: Build a Support Network<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For me
independence doesn’t mea</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">n becoming a lone wolf, it means taking responsibility
for knowing when and where to ask for help. Building a support network is key to
this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For many
years I’d start to shutdown and just wildly cry out for help in any direction
and just get frustrated. At the time I was a church-goer and the expectation
was that someone / anyone there would step in. They didn’t, I’d get upset, the
cycle would continue. A more structured approach was needed. I’ve created a
list for this very purpose. It helps me to recognise who can appropriately help
with certain tasks. A home care charity and my parents can step in and help
with domestic tasks and cooking (back to the ironing, because of my sensory
issues the hissing of the iron triggers meltdown, having a meltdown with a hot
iron isn’t wise!), friends are identified who can provide accommodation and
moral support etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">4: Prioritise<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s easy
to become confused by the daily tasks required to live independently, piles of
bills, housework, care and therapy regimes, cooking, shopping, something’s
broken, laundry….. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">When faced
with too much information and detail my brain simply shuts down. It becomes important
to prioritise and tackle one thing at a time. I use a to-do-list app on my
phone but a list on paper or a whiteboard work just as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Identify
what needs doing and decide what to tackle first. Perhaps someone you’ve
identified in your support network can help with some of the tasks?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-tVKHzOsPl9xh6h35bd8zGYE0mTdO37f2ZC_Q1U7MinPtWNei30r_cFbxipXbaDeQkIcm9tan-z9kFgGt3w7_w6CNPVndB0uB0SDBWu4MYom7q4SG_HKimKyjMGx62Aog9hNEeKzo6U/s1600/Image3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-tVKHzOsPl9xh6h35bd8zGYE0mTdO37f2ZC_Q1U7MinPtWNei30r_cFbxipXbaDeQkIcm9tan-z9kFgGt3w7_w6CNPVndB0uB0SDBWu4MYom7q4SG_HKimKyjMGx62Aog9hNEeKzo6U/s1600/Image3.jpg" height="200" width="190" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">5: Balance Your Time<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">When faced
with pressing chores and commitments it is easy to over work and burn out. I’m
much more susceptible to catastrophic meltdowns and shutdowns when I’m tired or
over busy so planning time to sit and rest is just as important as planning
time to vacuum the lounge. Planning a good mix of productive time, social time
and relaxing time is important. I use the visual diary (point 1) and priorities
(point 4) to help and self awareness (point 2) helps guide me as to how much
capacity I have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">6: Keep a Strict Budget<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Being in
control of my finances has been one of the most useful skills I’ve learned in
helping maintain my independence. Although it would be nice to have millions I
don’t and have to make do on a tight budget. To make sure I stay in the green
as much as possible I use a spreadsheet to track my bills and expenses and
carefully calculate the amount of money available each month.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">A set
amount is put aside to cover direct debits for bills (rent, water rates,
electric etc)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For annual
bills (TV licence, Insurances etc) I divide the figure by twelve and save up
each month<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For
spending money I take a set amount out and use cash. This helps me see how much
money is available instead of blindly spending on card. This way it is easier
to decide whether that expensive sandwich for lunch or new PlayStation game is
really affordable…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">7: Practice and Learn Social Skills<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Knowing I
don’t come complete with the instinctive social abilities of my peers doesn’t
remove my need to have them, nor does it excuse my lack of them. One thing that
I do have is an ability to learn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Observing
the way others interact and communicate and then mimicking the styles and flows
of the conversation helps me to learn and then naturally communicate. The
internet is also a great tool to use. Typing searches like, ‘How to start a
conversation’, ‘How to make friends’ etc brings up a wealth of information.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t be
afraid to make mistakes and be persistent. Like all skills it takes time and
patience. I found travelling to be a great way to meet new people and use
practice my social skills. A few nights in a hostel brings a steady stream of
new test subjects to experiment on and if it all goes wrong then who cares? I’m
never going to see them again and just being foreign excuses me of any faux-pas
I make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">If the
first night I am too forward and talk too much at people, putting them off then
the second night I can try calming down and using a different approach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">At home try
your skills at the supermarket, café, anywhere really. It’s not always easy or
comfortable but seek out opportunities to engage in conversation. The more you
do it the more natural it becomes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">8: Use Flowcharts and Scripts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m very
visual and flowcharts work well for me. If I can change the format of
information to help me out then I will. Creating quick help guides can be a
real asset when I’m beginning to struggle. For example simple flow charts or
pictorial guides to show me how to prepare a simple meal, clean the kitchen,
manage my medication etc can help me manage myself when I have a meltdown or
shutdown. More complicated tasks like maintaining the car or arranging an
insurance can be templated out so I can self guide myself through these rather
than having to get help in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Scripts are
important as when I start to go through meltdown or shutdown cycles I fast
loose the ability to speak coherently or become virtually non verbal. Simple
scripts I can send by text or email can be used in situations like letting my
boss know I need a day off work or letting my support worker know I need help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I can also
use scripts to help prompt me with how to appropriately make, change or cancel
plans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Have a
think about what you struggle to communicate, perhaps a scripted response or
flowchart may help you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">9: Keep a Journal or Blog<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the
biggest challenges I find in being able to focus and be productive is the
incessant noise and thoughts in my head. Having autism makes it hard to process
and filter information, I find one way that helps me do this is to write it
down. This can be by brainstorming or journaling, on paper or on computer, it
doesn’t matter as long as it’s out of my head. Not everyone finds this helpful
but for me I find this therapeutic. As a quirk I was so conscious to keep my
random scribbling private I write them in Cyrillic. This in turn acts as a
great pub trick to break the ice when meeting new friends, ‘Here’s your name in
Russian…’ I say while writing it down on a coaster.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">10: Stay Flexible, Learn and Adapt<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Finally we
come back to a bit more self analysis. Rigidity and inflexibility come hand in
hand with autism but this is something that I work hard to break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As I try an
new system, approach or technique I try and regularly adapt and reflect on if
it’s working for me and if it can be improved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As I
develop and improve myself; so do the systems. The visual diary started as an
A4 week per page, I then found A5 day per page better for me. I used to benefit
from lots of social time, now I prefer less. You might like the idea of trying
a visual diary for yourself but find it better to use a wall planner with
sticky labels. It’s whatever works for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t be
afraid to try things, experiment, learn when things don’t work so well and
learn from your successes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Please feel
free to share this post and add to your comments things you have found helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-63581095160086280972014-09-22T09:07:00.001-07:002015-03-27T07:48:44.450-07:00A Day at the Volcano<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT4ifBQwt4d0VhpOELze5323IvCOuaEE7HW4JeKmJM_BzkfJF-o6Z32Iy2qRXvZ7sUF6YnKkslVN_haQUTgg5O_tVRYmVuZq4MWwAU4ZTjW4svqXbrRhEk7DtELEtCiVQPmBLDUZsJuvo/s1600/14+08+USA+071.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT4ifBQwt4d0VhpOELze5323IvCOuaEE7HW4JeKmJM_BzkfJF-o6Z32Iy2qRXvZ7sUF6YnKkslVN_haQUTgg5O_tVRYmVuZq4MWwAU4ZTjW4svqXbrRhEk7DtELEtCiVQPmBLDUZsJuvo/s1600/14+08+USA+071.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The earth
rumbled as the pressure beneath built ever stronger until finally…. BOOM! An
explosion of mayhem flowed down into the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">village</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Lego</st1:placename></st1:place>
houses. The villagers (unfortunate woodlice) scattered and I set about
engineering a barricade to halt the hosepipe-mud-volcano avalanche. I was
fascinated by volcanoes and as a child I dreamed of one day being a world
famous volcanologist. With no local volcanoes at hand I had to make do with a
hosepipe and my parents flower bed. Still, I was happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Like many
with autism, I have ‘special interests’ – intense, almost obsessive interests
in often random things. I circled through Volcanoes, Tornados, Maps, Travel,
Eurovision (I know… but there is a score board with lots of numbers – how
autism friendly is that!!!), stamps, fungi…… For each one got obsessed, became
an expert, got bored then moved to something new.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For many
years I tried to moderate my hobbies and forced interests to fit my peer group,
but recently I’ve come to see this more nerdy side to me as being a great asset
and something to cherish. In fact I’d say the focus it gives me on subjects is
one of the greatest gifts that autism brings me. In this weeks post I’d like to
share with you of a time recently that two of my interests met and I got a
chance to travel and visit a fascinating mountain. Come and join me on a day at
the volcano….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Come and
visit one day’ is something often said between friends over Facebook, but this
time I’d decided to do just that and here I was 5000miles from home with my
friend Andrea, camping in the forests of Washington State. My camping
expeditions at home usually come with some sort of mishap so the bears, snakes,
spiders and poison ivy were playing on my mind. Top it all off with evil,
slimy, foot long banana slugs… yeughhh. ‘You’ll be alright’ said Andrea as we
casually sauntered past a Tsunami escape sign and wild fire warning chart.
‘Everything here is trying to kill me’ I sighed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Dangers
aside, the natural wonders of the area shone through. The campsite nestled
amongst mighty trees, draped over the dramatic foothills of the <st1:place w:st="on">Cascade Range</st1:place>. Bright lakes sat in the valleys,
reflecting the snow capped volcanic mountains.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of
these mountains was out destination, although this one was no longer a perfect
cone. We were heading to Mt St Helens. This notorious mountain catastrophically
erupted in May 1980, replacing over 400m of it’s height with a mile wide
crater. It still stands over a kilometre taller than <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Ben Nevis</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Britain</st1:country-region></st1:place>’s
highest peak. I’d read a lot about this volcano and I was excited to get the
chance to visit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As we
approached the great mountain started to reveal itself from behind the
surrounding hills. It’s battered and grey hulk standing in sharp contrast the
verdant surroundings. The crater appearing as though it’s summit had been
punched by an angry giant, crushed like a used drinks can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">An ominous
sign announced our arrival to the blast zone, 12miles from the mountain. The
surroundings got steadily more barren, twisted trunks jutting from the loose
earth, slowly being reclaimed by new growth forest. We finally arrived at the
visitor centre, just 5 miles from the gaping crater.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">A Park
Ranger met us and told us the story of the barren place we had found ourselves
in. The eruption that had happened here was in fact triggered by a landslide of
gigantic proportions. Like my mud volcano, the pressure had been building,
until finally something snapped. What snapped was the entire north flank of the
mountain. The whole side slid away and released the highly pressured and
superheated gasses and material below. The mass of rock ploughed across the
valley to where we were now stood. At this point it was carrying car sized boulders
at 155mph and at a staggering 400celsius. This ‘scorch’ zone was stripped of
everything down to the bedrock. Nothing survived here. Continuing on it’s
journey, the turmoil rumbled over ridges and down valleys for a further 12
miles, flattening trees like matchsticks. Meanwhile to the west glacial melt
water and displaced lakes had sent a torrent of hot acid mud down river to
where our campsite was now sited.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In total
the eruption caused over $2.8 billion in damage and took the lives of 57. An
evacuation had taken place of the local communities and being a fairly remote
area this could have been far worse but even so these sobering statistics still
brought a new perspective to the battered landscape. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">34 years later
wildlife has slowly begun to move into the blast zone, bringing life back to
the scorched hillsides. On cue to prove this point a small chipmunk popped his
head up and stood proudly on the wall in front of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Back at the
campsite that evening I had chance to reflect on the day’s adventure up the
volcano, having seen first hand the immense power of the not so solid earth we
stand on and having a new found respect for the forces that shape the earth
below our feet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now what
was that rustling outside the tent….. a
bear?....... an evil banana slug?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">......or
just a racoon?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">.</span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-26020636262358314922014-09-07T08:02:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:46:45.994-07:0010 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Non Autistic Person<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5CAow-zDbdGcFd8Qi5lvJjoiSJnh-UU5cG4MY6KWOc-nVIhyphenhyphenW-FC3ClGyUxdPwHZApE1efaR-8GNBjbxUKd2LHxojh0UgmIy76TVTLfNIlu2nnRjtIFEDQdIXOPectzNoNIU7OFEUjI/s1600/Image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp5CAow-zDbdGcFd8Qi5lvJjoiSJnh-UU5cG4MY6KWOc-nVIhyphenhyphenW-FC3ClGyUxdPwHZApE1efaR-8GNBjbxUKd2LHxojh0UgmIy76TVTLfNIlu2nnRjtIFEDQdIXOPectzNoNIU7OFEUjI/s1600/Image1.jpg" height="191" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">There are
many things that I do and say that can range from amusing to exasperating to
those around me. That’s the joy of having a brain that’s hard wired slightly
differently to that of the average person. In my post <span style="color: blue;">‘<a href="http://stevesaspieadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/10-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-aspie.html" target="_blank">10 things you shouldn’t say to an aspie</a>’</span> I took a light hearted look at some of the things that have
been said to me that have been less than helpful, but I also recognise that
sometimes the things I say aren’t helpful in return. It’s great to recognise
that the way I understand other’s communication is strained, but it’s also
important for me to recognise that the way I communicate back is also
potentially different to yours. Communication works both ways after all. Here
is a look at the top 10 things I sometimes say that hasn’t had the response or
affect I’d expected. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So anyway
let me start by say ‘Hi, How are you?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1: Answering honestly ‘How are you?’<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Not so
good’ I reply, ‘I didn’t sleep well last night as it was hot. My bedroom
doesn’t cool down very well so I was up at 4am. Otherwise I’m not too bad but
I’ve had a few concerns on my mind lately about the increase in water rates and
whether I'm on the best phone tariff. At the moment I’ve been trying to figure
out whether to visit a friend this weekend as they live a long way away but at
the same time I’d like to see them. I am however really enjoying writing this
blog about life with autism.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">puzzled
look back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Oh sorry,
fine thanks and how are you?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">You see to
me the question ‘How are you?’ requires an answer. In true aspie style it is so
easy for me to automatically bombard the poor recipient with exhaustive details
about ‘how I am.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This isn’t
the askers’ intention. It is simply a greeting that requires no more than a
simple ‘fine thanks, and how are you’ type response. Any more results in being
given a very strange and scared look back from the person who asked!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">2: How old are you?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So how old
are you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> You NEVER ask a woman her age!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Why just
women?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">In settings
where I’m surrounded by fellow aspies the question of age doesn’t appear to
have such a stigma as it does out in the wider community. It is a simple
factual statement. In reality as an adult, knowing someone else’s age has never
been that important. I’ve always tended to either enjoy someone’s company or
not (regardless or age or any other demographic). It’s when the conversation
starts taking a bewildering dance around age that I have the tendency to just
say ‘How old are you?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> ‘I’m so much older than you!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> ‘You look so young’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> ‘How old do you think I look?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">These questions
will all likely result in me bluntly telling you how old you look or asking
your age (you’ve asked mine in a roundabout way after all!) – if you don’t want
to know then don’t ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve been
advised that telling everyone that they’re 21 is the best approach (Although it
mystifies me why anyone would want to be 21 – I hated that age, 31 is so much
better!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3: Who are you voting for?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So people
fought and died to give me a right to vote and live in a democratic country but
I can’t talk about politics?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I can
understand the reason that politics talk can lead to disagreements but I will
and do openly talk about politics when an election is looming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Filtering
information from a random selection of leaflets on who to vote for is
bewildering. I’d much rather balance my opinions by having open chats with
those people around me who’s opinions I respect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">4: Do you have a faith?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This is one
I both understand but also find frustrating. Whatever your faith may (or may
not) be is a deeply personal thing that quite clearly can and does cause great
conflict. Two people who hold opposing views but both have deep convictions
justifying their respective stance can clearly clash on this issue so the
reason for having discretion when discussing faith is clear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
frustration comes for me when deciding where and when is an appropriate time.
Faith has played a big part in my life. It has been a fluid journey with times
of holding a Christian faith close to heart and more recently settling for more
agnostic views. I have a genuine interest in faith and religions but exploring
this has always felt restricted due to lack of open communication. I have no
answers here, so lets quickly move on before arguments erupt or I’m smited by
the almighty…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">5: Lets talk about the birds and the
bees…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">There are
no birds and bees involved so at least there aren’t going to be any seagull
sized bee hybrids, but if there were it’s certainly be much easier to talk
about than the subject in question. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
unwritten rules on how, when and where sex can be discussed is so perplexing
that it can be a huge minefield. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can
not only lead to huge embarrassment but has the potential for much worse. A
single statement that could be light banter in one setting could lead to formal
action in another. Knowing the boundaries can be challenging enough for anyone.
One thing is certain; no one seems to know how to talk about this. It’ll cover
this more in a future post, but for now I’ll stick with the giant bee hybrids,
they scare me less!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">6: You don’t understand<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Chances are
you don’t, but then again at least you’re trying to relate? Saying ‘I know how
you feel’ is often said and tends to illicit a blunt but factual statement back
from me, ‘no, you don’t understand’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m seeing
it as a whole and there is no way you can understand everything from my
perspective, but by saying this I’m missing the point. You can understand and
relate to certain emotions, situations or experiences I have (fully
understanding the intricate details isn’t really relevant). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s
probably best I reserve my judgement on your understanding and keep my mouth
shut. After all, you may just understand far better than I give you credit for…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">7: I don’t understand you<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">As above,
but chances are I don’t understand either. Again I tend to look at the
intricacies of things rather than just trying to relate. When faced with a
situation I will quickly judge that I don’t understand you and say so. This
gives one clear message – I’m aloof, am above your problems and un-empathetic.
This is far from the truth and avoiding saying that I don’t understand you is
wise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps
you’ve just split up with your girlfriend and are upset. I would feel unable to
relate as I haven’t dated this particular girl, gone through what you’ve gone
through, been on your journey – but I have split up with girls before and
experienced the grieving process that follows. If I step back from the detail
then I may find I do understand far better than I give myself credit for…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">8: You’re wrong<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">There are
certain subjects that I know a lot about. We all have areas like that. Our
interests, hobbies, studies all give us an expertise somewhere. Even personal
matters like your family or even your long term health issues are probably
areas you personally can call yourself an expert in. I’ve studied fungi
extensively (yes, I’m aware that this is strange) and unless you’re a seasoned
mycologist then I will probably dismiss your knowledge on this subject as
inferior. The difficulty is that no one wants to be told they’re wrong. If
someone approaches me and informs me that all fungi are poisonous, instead of
pompously dismissing them for making such an uneducated remark it helps to step
back. Does their lack of knowledge affect me at all? No! Perhaps this is a good
opportunity to have a chat about a topic that interests me. In turn they are
guaranteed to have something of interest to tell me about a topic I know little
about. Not saying ‘you’re wrong’ can open up very interesting new
conversations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">9: Being direct about pretty much
anything<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">An autistic
tendency that doesn’t seem to blend well with the British societies' politeness
is being blunt and direct. If there is a problem or difficulty I’d rather just
say it than meander aimlessly around the subject. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘You upset
me’ Is confrontational, ‘My washing machine is broken so I’m stressed and don’t
know how to get it repaired’ is pessimistic. Instead we have to weave around
what we’re saying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Hello, splendid
day wouldn’t you agree! I wonder if you could advise me, my washing machine has
broken. Have you got any recommendations for good repair centres? Isn’t it
jolly good that we live in such a blessed position to not have to wash out
clothes in a dirty river!’ or some such gibberish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">10: Talking about myself<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Talking
about myself comes naturally, I know a lot about myself. I can easily go into a
never ending monologue that will put you in a coma given half a chance. I have
to remind myself frequently that you really don’t need or want to know every
last detail about my evening’s plans. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was once
set a challenge, try having a ‘you’ day. The challenge was simple; to not talk
about myself for a whole day, even direct questions about what I’ve been doing
should be turned around and directed back to the person asking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘How was
your lunch?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Instead of
replying with the details of my lunch I could say, ‘Great thanks, what did you
have today?’ Following this up with questions about their favourite foods or places
to eat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sounds
easy? It was actually quite challenging but very rewarding and it was a great
way to connect more with those around me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope this
post has been of interest and shown how the challenge of communication is a two
way street – but also a very rewarding one. I would be very interested in
hearing your views on this topic. Please feel free to add your comments and
share this post if you found it interesting.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-3138507479625835082014-08-22T10:24:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:46:32.046-07:00I Know There's People Worse off Than Me<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Today’s
school meal was grisly mince slop served with dry potatoes with the texture of
shoe insoles. I’d lost my appetite and gingerly prodded at this mess until it
had been concealed beneath the remnants of the potato.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Starving children in <st1:place w:st="on">Africa</st1:place>
would be thankful for that lunch!’ exclaimed the dinner lady.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I pondered
this comment. Did the school really send my leftovers to <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Somalia</st1:country-region></st1:place>? How did they get it there?
Would it not be cold and inedible by the time it arrived?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The problem
was that I simply didn’t understand the sarcasm and the real meaning behind her
statement. Instead of understanding that she was telling me to eat the food and
be grateful that I actually had food, I could only summarise that this food was
actually sent there and therefore I should always leave a portion for them at
every meal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Not quite
the affect this dinner lady had in mind but a common attitude encountered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
sentiment behind the message here is simple; My dislike of the food is far less
important when in the perspective of someone who had no food and would be
thankful for the vile slop I was turning my privileged nose up at. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Clearly
there are times when it’s helpful to step back and see things in perspective,
but other times it’s down right dangerous. It’s not the times we have a small
gripe about the quality of the food here, It’s when there is something else, something more serious going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEievSLpMNIOkddpm-1owMJD7gHO5BywHpWJVQ7KGuM3hgxfjR_tE1HjZ6j8qoj3s9LcG2DV9ssvPApMhk1HqKLJtDDG3l5sAgHI4bWiYf9IAP5Om0PokKQLItQUUrCSh96NnBwLWQZ3d0Y/s1600/Image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEievSLpMNIOkddpm-1owMJD7gHO5BywHpWJVQ7KGuM3hgxfjR_tE1HjZ6j8qoj3s9LcG2DV9ssvPApMhk1HqKLJtDDG3l5sAgHI4bWiYf9IAP5Om0PokKQLItQUUrCSh96NnBwLWQZ3d0Y/s1600/Image1.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The recent
tragic death of Robin Williams should highlight an important lesson for us all.
Mental Illness can affect <b>anyone</b>,
regardless of circumstance. On the surface it would be easy to ask what Robin
Williams had to be depressed about. Was he living with abject poverty, war,
starvation, severe disability…..? No he didn’t, but that’s not the point.
Depression and feeling depressed are two entirely different things. Depression
is an illness and should be treated as such. I can’t possibly speak into the
circumstances that spiralled so tragically for Robin Williams but I can share
my experience of depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have at
times struggled with severe depression. It comes and goes, but is something
that I know I am likely to face again in the future. The struggles of living
with autism create a particularly challenging set of circumstances for me that
can act as a trigger and this comes hand in hand with periods of both
depression and anxiety. I will be covering both of these subjects in more
detail in later posts. Both anxiety and depression are treatable and manageable
but need proper support. There is a vast difference between feeling a bit
depressed and having chronic depression, the same can be said for anxiety.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">At times
like this it would help to see the bigger picture right? This is an attitude
that is so very common and one that stirs anger in me and makes me seethe. But
why? What could possibly be wrong with a reality check on our own place in the
world and a reminder that in fact our problems aren’t as bad as they could be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Let’s start
by looking at the <b>inconsistencies of the
perspective.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">By picking
this apart there are a number of glaring holes in the argument. The first one
we come across is how inconsistent it is. To my logical brain using a linear
perspective like this removes an ability to express any personal feeling at
all. So there is someone worse off than me? What if I was that person, there’s still
someone worse off than me! At what point can I just get some support without
being compared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It also has
to work both ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">If I cannot
be sad because someone has more to be sad about then logically I also cannot be
happy because someone else has more to be happy about than me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It makes support conditional.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of the
frustrations about mental illness is that it doesn’t make sense. If I’ve got
depressed then there isn’t a logical list of reasons why. It’s simply that I’m
depressed. Withholding support because I haven’t ticked enough boxes to justify
to you why I’m unwell is downright dangerous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Let’s look
at this as if it was a physical issue, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I tell you
I have a headache. You refuse to give me a pain killer as someone 5000miles
away has a brain tumour. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">This sounds
ridiculous, but is it any different to the time I had an anxiety attack and
took medication to calm myself and was told, ‘you’ll feel much better if you
remember that you live in Britain, think about the poor people in Iraq, they’ve
really got something to have anxiety about!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Comparing unrelated issues<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">So I can’t
have anxiety because I don’t live in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Iraq</st1:country-region></st1:place>? This to me was as obscure as
saying You can’t have anxiety because there are no goats on the moon. It’s just
unfathomably unrelated in my little mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">It also had
an underlying message. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">‘Your illness is selfish’ I heard. I care deeply about injustices in the world and
would love to help in any way I can, but this isn’t linked to my day to day
life. Back in the school canteen I could only rationalise that the school would
be sending the leftovers to the starving children. After all, why else would
they tell me about them. What difference does my lunch choice have on a
starving child. Indeed what difference does my anxiety have on a troubled
Iraqi?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now I’m
older and able to tell that this doesn’t have anything to do with these
suffering people in far off lands, we can get back to the issue I was
complaining about….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Withholding support<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve always
been taught to tell someone if I have a problem. Depression is very difficult
to talk about, especially if you are going through it. So complaining that I
don’t like my school lunch is trivial but what about alerting someone to a
growing depression? How do you tell someone effectively that you are
struggling? Who do you tell? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">The times
I’ve had the response given to me that my problems are insignificant in
comparison just make things worse. It gives the clear message that my very real
issues are of no importance. At an already vulnerable place this extra kick
isn’t helpful. Is that the message you are wanting to convey?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">A Better Response<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For me I
benefit being allowed to vent on occasion. Often simply having a good moan can
help me to put things into perspective myself. Just be there for me, allow me to
talk and offer advice if you can. What to you might seem like a silly or minor
issue may be a major concern for me. Allow me to process this myself – it is
not your place to judge this for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mental
health concerns are a serious issue and if you or someone you know may be
struggling please contact and talk to someone in a position to help. <b>Don’t put it off and don’t be afraid to talk
about your concerns.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you need to talk or have concerns
about someone you know then here are some phone numbers for you:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">UK</span></b></st1:place></st1:country-region><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">: </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Samaritans <span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><a href="tel:08457%2090%2090%2090" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors="true">08457
90 90 90</a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on"><b><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Republic</span></b></st1:placetype><b><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Ireland</st1:placename></span></b></st1:place><b><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">:</span></b><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <a href="tel:1850%2060%2090%2090" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors="true">1850 60 90 90</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">USA</span></st1:country-region><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> & <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region>: </span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal;">National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #433f38; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><a href="tel:1-800-273-TALK" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors="true">1-800-273-TALK</a> </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #433f38; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">(8255)</span><span lang="EN" style="color: #433f38; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
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<st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Australia</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span lang="EN" style="color: #433f38; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">:
</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal;">Lifelink Samaritans</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal;">: </span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal;"><a href="tel:03%2063%2031%203355" x-apple-data-detectors-result="3" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors="true">03 63 31 3355</a></span></h1>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">For a larger list of countries visit
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html <o:p></o:p></span></h1>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-9220963777647224952014-08-08T16:41:00.002-07:002015-03-27T07:44:44.219-07:00Helping Work to Work For You - 10 Reasonable Adjustments<div class="MsoNormal">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">10 Reasonable Adjustments – Helping Work to Work For You<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Employment can often feel like a daunting mountain to scale and sometimes the barriers presented to an autistic person can make the world of work seem unachievable. So often just a small and simple adjustment can help no end and help you flourish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">In<a href="http://stevesaspieadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/youll-never-find-job.html"> last week’s blog</a> I shared my own personal story of employment. This week I wanted to share some of the adjustments that have helped me along the way. It is important to remember that in this post I am sharing my own personal experiences and what has worked for me might not necessarily work for you, but I do hope that it can give you some ideas to think about. I work in an office environment so these adjustments reflect that, but many could be used in other settings equally as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">So what is a ‘reasonable adjustment’? I asked this question to the Occupational Health Assessor I had been sent to see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">She explained that it is an agreed (formally or informally) set of changes that can be implemented by your employers to help you achieve your best in your job. They can be flexible to help you through a difficult patch or put in place as a long term option. Each workplace will have different requirements so it’s best to be able to discuss with your management or careers advisor on what can be offered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">But what’s ‘Reasonable’ and ‘Unreasonable’?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">My advisor suggested that enlisting a circus to cheer me up would be unreasonable, but a clown assigned to my office might be reasonable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I understand what she was trying to convey with this answer, but having a clown would freak me out and not be of any use. I’m also not sure which of my colleagues would be best suited to this task….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">So on to some ideas that have been more realistic….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOEl9TrKDSGckS1UyeVXjcqBKfSqfewa9ONS0W8LFRHmEnVGnN2vA9r2FCOqgHSZxgeDw_PFOg7OQBkZf0-Ld6GTDRnMnT-e-OWYbHCHaoDW-iqdpAZXHBLj8d6C-v9RWCK3DniBFuN5A/s1600/Image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOEl9TrKDSGckS1UyeVXjcqBKfSqfewa9ONS0W8LFRHmEnVGnN2vA9r2FCOqgHSZxgeDw_PFOg7OQBkZf0-Ld6GTDRnMnT-e-OWYbHCHaoDW-iqdpAZXHBLj8d6C-v9RWCK3DniBFuN5A/s1600/Image1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">1: Flexible Hours<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Flexible working hours has been one the most useful tools available to me in assisting my employment. In essence it works by allowing me the flexibility to choose my hours of work rather than having a fixed and rigid shift pattern. This obviously has boundaries (a window of time to start and end the day in, communicate with my management my projected working times, complete my contracted hours over a set period etc) but even small amounts of flexibility are game changers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">In a previous job that didn’t allow for flexible hours I encountered a situation classic of how my condition can effect things. The drive into work was stressful and a number of delays meant that I arrived at the office 3 minutes late. I was already feeling overloaded by the disrupted commute but the reprimand for being late resulted in a meltdown so severe I was signed off sick by the doctor. The result – stress and loss of money for me and a loss of an employee for a week for the company – a lot for the sake of a 3 minute delay!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">With flexible working this situation wouldn’t have even caused a ripple – I would have allowed an extra few minutes to calm down and made up the lost time later in the week. A win for both myself and the company.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">2: Home Working<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Another option that has helped me in the past is the ability to work from home. For me an occasional day working from laptop or doing an online course can help me still be productive on the days when I’m not well enough to drive or have awkwardly timed medical appointments. In my job it is limited what I can do from home, but perhaps in yours this would be a great option to explore?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">3: Time Outs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This is another adaptation that has been the difference between a productive day and complete fail for me. The ability to get up and take a break. This obviously has to be kept within constraints – Clearly I should tell someone that I need a break first and taking a 10 minute break every 10 minutes would be ridiculous so it must be kept reasonable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">The practical application of this is times I feel I’m getting overloaded or approaching meltdown. Taking myself away for a few minutes to have a glass of water, walk around the building or simply sit in a quiet room allows me to be able to calm things down and make a rational decision how to proceed. I use this flexibility to take regular breaks between tasks to focus on the next task to be completed and helps balance my day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">4: Increased Sickness Trigger Points<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">One of the implications of living with a disability is that I unfortunately have more than my fair share of days off sick. As well as the direct autism related issues (meltdowns, tiredness, overload, depression, anxiety etc) that can render a day unmanageable there is also another factor, lower immunity. All of the negative effects that autism can bring as well as many of the medication can make me more susceptible to usual mild health concerns.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Most employers have a set trigger point relating to sickness absence and exceeding the number of sick days allowed can trigger disciplinary action. As it is recognised I potentially will exceed this I have an increased trigger point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">5: Time Allowances for Medical Appointments<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">A frustration of being in full time employment is the absence virtually any support during the evenings. I sometimes need to leave work early in order to attend hospital appointments, care appointments or therapy. Even the support groups happen during daytime hours, the nearest to me that meets in the evenings is 50 miles away. My employers have allowed the flexibility to attend these appointments. Hopefully as services improve there will be more options for evening support. For now the messages from the support providers are ‘we’ll help you become employable’ and their actions say ‘We won’t provide help accessible to the employed.’ This remains an ongoing frustration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">6: Mentorship<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Mentorship is something that I have tended to source myself informally, although there are options to arrange this more formally. Mentorship provides a point of contact who can guide and advise on issues relating to employment. I’ve got a good working relationship with a number of colleagues and line management and use this as mentorship. If I don’t understand something or want advice on how to respond or deal with a situation then this is where I go for advice. When changing jobs I have used the union for mentorship on approaching employers and making applications. Whether you do this formally, informally or both, this is something that can be immensely helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">7: Advocacy<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Very often I come across as being a very confident and articulate when I speak so it can come as a surprise that I often require an advocate. An advocate is someone who I have allowed to speak on my behalf. At times, especially when recovering from a meltdown or sensory overload, I need someone to act on my behalf in making arrangements and decisions. For me it tends to fall on my assigned support worker or my parents. It does embarrass me no end having to delegate this, but having established this with my employers removes the immediate embarrassment of having to explain why as an adult I got my dad to phone in sick for me. In a previous position I was required to only speak for myself (I think this is legally questionable) but luckily since I’ve been able to name individuals who can speak on my behalf should I need them to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">8: Communication Filtering<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This is a long way of saying, ‘give me that info in a different way.’ Some people are visual, some prefer words, some like emails, some like the phone……<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Too much information in different formats confuses me and causes an overload. I’m visual and need things written down. To some degree I can adjust this myself. I always have a notepad with me and write down instructions and if I can I will ask the person to email me the details of the task. This rarely causes anyone to even raise an eyebrow. In a past job a system was put in place where all jobs coming my way were filtered via my line manager who’d re-write them into a format I understood. At the time this was a huge help but in my current job isn’t needed. This is a good example of how adaptations can vary over time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">The telephone is a particular one to note. I find using the telephone particularly difficult for both communication and sensory reasons. In previous jobs I’ve been able to put in place adaptations ranging from screening calls using an answer phone to being taken off the phones altogether. In my current post this isn’t suitable and the phone is central to a lot of my work. I’ve had to find ways around these difficulties and it currently doesn’t cause too many problems (on the surface at least!). This shows how sometimes full adjustments just aren’t suitable and you have to make efforts to manage the difficulty in other ways. I have scripted out texts to remind me what to say on the phone and plan calls before making them as I know this helps me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">9: Office Plan Review<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Something often overlooked, but very important, is the layout of the office. Slight changes to my desk or even location in the office can create huge benefits. As I am visual and have difficulty processing sound I find it better to face in towards my colleagues and the door. This way I can see if someone wants to talk to me and helps me become part of the team. If the office becomes a bit noisy I have the option to move to a quieter desk for a short while to help me concentrate on my tasks. Perhaps there are adjustments like this that may benefit you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Numerous organisations and charities offer various means of supporting you in work. This may be by coaching you, speaking with your managers or advising of more formalised changes. It is always worth looking around and seeing if there are any services near you who can assist you in being successful in your job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I hope in this post I have shown that sometimes very small adjustments can have a very positive impact for both you and your employers. I’d be very interested to hear your comments on what adaptations have been successful for you in your line of work or what you feel might help you in finding a job. I will be covering this topic in future posts and if you have found this of interest then please feel free to share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Next time on Steve's Aspie Adventures:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">My next post will be in two weeks time where I will look at the subject of putting our difficulties into perspective and asking this question:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Let me know what you think... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-46153597119235364042014-08-03T13:08:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:44:08.294-07:00You’ll Never Find A Job!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRYog6wVrlZufP96Diu6pHPcdPLEKQI7Nyf_SjBXxwnJhv3WoOP9gy792ZhaVEP26imTftKxyD6tw-BNExV6icHlPiw1JsRAbMwloR7KGiRiQyokXrm357VQSo4rZj8s5Kt5M1uJA8IQ/s1600/Image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRYog6wVrlZufP96Diu6pHPcdPLEKQI7Nyf_SjBXxwnJhv3WoOP9gy792ZhaVEP26imTftKxyD6tw-BNExV6icHlPiw1JsRAbMwloR7KGiRiQyokXrm357VQSo4rZj8s5Kt5M1uJA8IQ/s1600/Image1.jpg" height="296" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This is my story on the challenges and obstacles I overcame and still face in finding and keeping employment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">‘You’ll
never be able to hold down a full time job’ was the message I received loud and
clear as a teenager leaving the education system with no qualifications and a
bleak future ahead. In the fifteen years since then the message has become less
negative and each year that passes services and support for finding employment
increases, but this still remains one of the biggest and most challenging
issues facing those with autism.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I'm
one of the 15%<sup>(1)<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></sup>in the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region></st1:place> with autism<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>who holds down full time employment.
I've got this employment issue solved then, everything is fine and great. My
life is sorted? Think again!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">My
employment seems to attract a huge amount of interest and confusion amongst
friends and professionals alike.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">'How
did you do it?' I get asked from unemployed friends. 'You're living the dream,
money, car, house. What's the magic formula?' There isn't. I don't have one.
'You are clearly MUCH more higher functioning than my son' (Yes I was told
this! Can someone really make this judgement based on my employment?) It all
paints a picture for me that suggests that employment is the golden ticket that
makes everything OK and that by being employed I'm therefore doing well.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">The
reality? Employment takes a lot of hard work, determination, good luck, support
from others and perseverance. There is no easy route. Virtually all forms of
official support cease once you are employed, despite being in a situation of
requiring more support. Nearly all support groups, clubs, hospital appointments
take place during the working day. The closest support group to me that
operates in the evenings is over 50 miles away. Working takes so much effort
that at times it can render me very unwell. Sacrifices worth making for the
money and the independence? That's for each of us to decide.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This
is a huge topic and one I will be breaking down into many posts in the future.
It's hard knowing where to start, so I guess I'll start with telling you my
story.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Education</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I
left school with no qualifications at all. I was a grade A student and my
teachers had high prospects for me. Unfortunately as many aspies will relate
to, my intellectual ability and my ability to cope with the world around me are
vastly different. I left school disillusioned and hopeless. After receiving my
diagnosis at 16 I was given the reality check that 'You should not expect to
ever hold down work.' I'm strong willed and set to prove them wrong. I enrolled
in an apprenticeship in a new town and by 18 had enough qualifications to get
me into work.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">First Jobs</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">At
18 I was no longer a child and ALL my support stopped. Autism support was and
still is very much aimed at children. I was simply diagnosed too late and at 18
you transfer to the adult services which were far from useful. I decided to
just get a job, any job.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I
walked into Tesco (A major supermarket) and very quickly landed a job as
assistant in the bakery. It was hot, noisy and as the junior; I was being given
constant and often contradictory instructions. It lasted 2 weeks. The final
straw was a customer handing me a sliced loaf of bread and asking for it
to be sliced. When I replied calmly that it already was she told me, 'You're
not paid to speak back to me.' I put the loaf through the machine sideways,
collected the mangled mess, handed it to her and walked out.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">A
week later I tried again in a calmer job. A microfiche scanner post. I got the
tedious job of sitting in a room with 100 others scanning endless legal
documents to microfiche in a hot and dark room for 8 hours a day. It was so
tedious I fell asleep on the button and captured 200 photos of my head for a
surprised client. This job lasted a week.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Finding a career</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Clearly
I needed something else, and I got my lucky break not long after. At the time
my Dad worked on a military base and they were looking for a stores assistant.
He dragged me in front of the manager with a script to ask for an application.
I did as I was told and found myself at interview.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">The
job was fairly mind numbing, I literally spent my day stacking socks on a
shelf. What made this different was the people I worked with. The military can
be very blunt and to the point, and this is how I work best. My supervisor left
after 3 months and I'd proved my worth enough to be asked to stand in.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Now
I was a fully fledged and permanent member of staff I used this foothold to
propel my career forwards and towards a job that suited me better. The civil
service is huge. As one of the biggest employers in the country and covering a
vast array of jobs it literally provided me the opportunity to choose my own
path as and when I felt ready.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Over
the years that followed I rode on my successes and jumped at opportunities when
I could to bounce up the grades and try different jobs. After the stores I
transferred to a local Medical Centre as a receptionist, then to a personnel
team, I passed a management board and took a post as a Communications Officer
in charge of corporate events and publicity.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This
sounds like a smooth ride but it was a constant balance of finding and using
supportive management to help me ride through the tough times. Unfortunately
one of these tough times had catastrophic consequences.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Coming back down to earth with a bang.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">This
leads us to a point three years ago. I had a (relatively) well paid job, a
mortgage, a girlfriend, holidays abroad, a nice car. Everything was perfect and
I'd become complacent. So had everyone else.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I'd
been able to put the right support in place over the years and I had started to
flourish but as I became more and more independent, the support dropped away.
As I pointed out earlier, support groups tend to only operate during working
hours, so they weren't available and had become reliant on friends and family
for back up. I can manage meltdowns myself but when a few happen at once it can
turn into what I term a crisis; the point I need to call in external help.
This time round the support from </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">line management, parents, the church and
friends didn't work.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Over
a short period of time changes at work had added to stress and I had
an unsympathetic manager, I'd been arguing with family and split with my
girlfriend. 5 of my closest friends (whom I relied on largely for support) left
town and I took a bad turn. My usual support network had disintegrated and I
was faced with a huge hurdle. My attempts to get help failed, the church didn't
understand what my issue was and the professionals required me to go through a
referral process that took about 6 weeks. I spiralled downhill as I fast lost
control of everything I'd spent all these years building up for myself. The
resultant mess nearly lost me everything including my life. Most of friends
fled to the hills and without income (signed off work long-term and benefits
don't cover even the basics) I lost the house and ended up returning to my
parents' home to avoid homelessness. The
depression at times was so severe I felt suicidal and hopeless. In a total of
nearly two years off work my office had begun relocating to a new town and I
was faced with almost certain redundancy with no options left for my return.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Rebuilding</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Just
over a year ago I had finally recovered enough to start rebuilding. I was
fairly certain my immediate future would involve unemployment and I was coming
to terms with that. I didn't want to go without a fight and made one last
attempt at restoring my career.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I
decided that taking hefty pay cut as I saw downgrading a better option than
being unemployed. If this strategy was to work then I
needed to make sure I was going to a job I could manage and with colleagues I
could work with. Still being in a crisis meant that it would be too risky to
just get anything at this stage as I didn't want to risk a complete relapse. I
arranged visits to meet and talk to prospective managers about the jobs on
offer and about my situation. This was one of the hardest things I've had to
do. Approaching a stranger who I would like to employ me and being open about
my situation. I felt humbled, embarrassed and nervous.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">It
paid off. I now work in an office doing a variety of varied duties with the
best team I could hope for. It's not easy and I'm not there yet. I'm still
recovering and fighting personal demons but the support I get from work at the
moment is so important to me and I've got hope back that I can achieve my
potential again in the future.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">What next?</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">I
don't know and all I can do right now is concentrate on what's immediately in
front of me.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">My
journey through employment has been a rollercoaster and I hope this post has
been interesting to you. It was very hard to write and something I was very
nervous to put into print. I would like in <a href="http://stevesaspieadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/10-reasonable-adjustments-helping-work.html" target="_blank">next week's post</a> to continue the
topic of employment and look at things that have helped me and what support
work have provided that have been of great use to me.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">As
always, please feel free to share this post and send me any comments or
feedback. I really value your input.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Thank
you for reading.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">1)
http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/myths-facts-and-statistics/some-facts-and-statistics.aspx</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-19040668228844175972014-07-25T08:15:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:43:40.713-07:008 Summer Survival Tips<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXZtYHB_JspaJRKgz93VXnEygp8obi5TnxQVBa0Hj9injZWKKhh9Mof0CTxU_ArjJ_1vg1Hek15x-BVPAAZkiEkFMOME60nMYD0nbZ18wl15njQB7cYpqLNINT4Rfyj7BHQ0TlBMRBkMQ/s1600/Sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXZtYHB_JspaJRKgz93VXnEygp8obi5TnxQVBa0Hj9injZWKKhh9Mof0CTxU_ArjJ_1vg1Hek15x-BVPAAZkiEkFMOME60nMYD0nbZ18wl15njQB7cYpqLNINT4Rfyj7BHQ0TlBMRBkMQ/s1600/Sun.jpg" height="400" width="348" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXZtYHB_JspaJRKgz93VXnEygp8obi5TnxQVBa0Hj9injZWKKhh9Mof0CTxU_ArjJ_1vg1Hek15x-BVPAAZkiEkFMOME60nMYD0nbZ18wl15njQB7cYpqLNINT4Rfyj7BHQ0TlBMRBkMQ/s1600/Sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXZtYHB_JspaJRKgz93VXnEygp8obi5TnxQVBa0Hj9injZWKKhh9Mof0CTxU_ArjJ_1vg1Hek15x-BVPAAZkiEkFMOME60nMYD0nbZ18wl15njQB7cYpqLNINT4Rfyj7BHQ0TlBMRBkMQ/s1600/Sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXZtYHB_JspaJRKgz93VXnEygp8obi5TnxQVBa0Hj9injZWKKhh9Mof0CTxU_ArjJ_1vg1Hek15x-BVPAAZkiEkFMOME60nMYD0nbZ18wl15njQB7cYpqLNINT4Rfyj7BHQ0TlBMRBkMQ/s1600/Sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Summer is a time of year I love. The
sun, the beach, getting outdoors, BBQs, all great fun, but for many this is one
of the most challenging times of the year. For us aspies change is a big deal,
but someone forgot to tell Mother Nature and she's decided it's time to heat
the Northern Hemisphere up again for another few months...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Schools close down, my regular support
networks go into 'summer mode' - regular meetings stop and sensory issues take
on a whole new dimension.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Growing up I found school so traumatic
that the prospect of 6 weeks off excited me no end, but I'm sure my parents
dreaded this! Even though I enjoy summer I still get affected by the
disruption.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">In this post I'd like to share the top
8 things I've found that have helped me make the most of the summer months. I
hope you enjoy reading this and if this is an area you or your child struggles
with then I do hope it is helpful or gives some ideas you might be able to try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">1. Make a plan</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">BBQ invites, pool party, summer club,
family visits, friends out of town, is quiz night still happening? What's going
on?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">How do I co-ordinate the ad-hoc
randomness that is summer? I plan. I plan everything. Neat, orderly and visual
is how I roll, so for me making sense of summer involves a plan too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I have both a wall planner to plot my
weekly schedule and a page a day diary to track what I intend to do. It's
colour coded and very visual. I can instantly see what is and more importantly
what isn't happening. Now I work full time it is far easier to keep routines
going but over my school days having a visual chart made it easier to see what
was happening. 1 week at home, 1 week at Granddad's, 1 week back home etc. It
may sound overkill to plan in such detail, but a simple change in my regular routine
can cause me huge confusion if I'm not careful. If I'm used to attending club
on a Wednesday evening but it's not on during August, then I default to being
confused every Wednesday in August. It's far easier to plan advance what I'll
do during that time so I don't go into a spin over it later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">2. Have a sleep routine</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I don't sleep well EVER. Summer is
worse. I barely sleep AT ALL! OK, so this may be an exaggeration but tiredness
features very large in summer for me. My sensory issues mean I struggle with
the heat, the light and the sound. If it's too hot, I won't sleep, if it's too
bright I won't sleep, if it's too loud... you get the picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">So here in the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region> heat is
a relative thing. I'm too hot today and it's 20C (68F) - I've just had a message
from a friend in the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">USA</st1:place></st1:country-region>,
it's 40C (106F) there. I should quit my complaining and move to <st1:place w:st="on">Greenland</st1:place>! It does however mean that I have a very low
tolerance to heat when it comes to sleeping, the bedroom must be cool!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">This far north the issue of light also
causes problems. It gets dark at about 10:30pm and light again at 4am. I have a
thick blanket I drape over the blinds to keep the light out, otherwise I'm wide
awake very early! Of course this unhelpfully keeps the room nice and toasty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Noise might not seem a particularly
summer issue but here's the problem. In the winter my window is shut and
everyone is inside, nice and quiet. In the summer the opposite is true.
Saturday night I had the pleasure of listening to a neighbours party roll on
until 4am, it wasn't a crazy party, but enough to stop me settling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I live in a crowded British town, so
until I win the lottery and move to an isolated cottage in <st1:place w:st="on">Svalbard</st1:place> I have to prepare for sleep in advance.
Making sure to keep the room cool, earplugs at hand, no caffeine after noon and
if all else fails a cup of warm milk and a nice book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">3. Know your limits</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">It's so easy to take on too much in the
summer. I find it hard to sit indoors when the sun is out. <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Britain</st1:place></st1:country-region> is
famous for it's rain, it's true it rains any when and everywhere. If it's sunny
it could last an hour or a week, but there's no guarantee. So many times the
sun comes out, you plan a beach trip for tomorrow, by then it's cold and rainy.
I have a tendency to end up doing too much and forgetting the importance of
resting and having days off. I make a point of planning 'Do Nothing' days in my
diary to make sure I get to recharge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">4. Keep hydrated</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I think everyone gets a bit moody when
they're a bit dehydrated, but it's especially important for me as getting a bit
moody makes me less likely to spot and deal with meltdowns. Meltdowns can
cause my body temperature to soar and have seriously dehydrated myself this way
in the past. I have water at hand everywhere I go and make sure I keep drinking
regularly even if I don't recognise I need it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">5. Sun screen, sun screen and more sun screen</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">The lobster look isn't great and we all
know the dangers of sunburn. The problem is applying the lotion. I don't like
the feel of it and I don't especially like being touched so getting someone to
rub it in is a pain. What's more of a pain though is dealing with the sleep
problems when I've turned into a 6foot blister on legs. I think the sensory
issue of yucky lotion is better than skin cancer. I tell myself each year that
I'll learn this issue; I say as I type away with sunburn yet again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">6. Earplugs</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Earplugs? Yes earplugs are on my summer
survival list. People get loud in summer, windows get opened, music gets
played. I want quiet. Easiest solution is to put in earplugs. If I'm out I'll
substitute these for headphones. They don't have to be connected to anything,
they can simply muffle the noise enough for me to enjoy the beach or park or
wherever I am. I think my parents might have liked this approach when I was a
child too. Seeing someone with headphones on is a great visual clue that I
shouldn't keep talking at them. It might have saved my parents the constant
interruptions from me while excitedly showing them my collection of woodlice or
broken pottery or whatever I was whittering on about as a child!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">7. Get outdoors</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Alone or with friends and family, I
love to get outdoors. I like to get out all year round but summer offers some
great new options. I had lunch today sat by outside and then spend the afternoon
reading a book. Very peaceful and relaxing. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air.
I find that the exercise and fresh air helps me sleep and lifts my mood.
Geocaching is a personal favourite. Fun for adults and children alike. A modern
global treasure hunt. In essence it is using multimillion dollar satellites to
help you locate hidden Tupperware boxes filled with rubbish toys. Give it a
try!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">8. Stay in touch</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Finally for me it's important to stay
in touch. Friends and family who may be away and disruption to routine can
leave me feeling isolated. The wonders of the internet allow for easy
communication with people around the world. If I recognise I'm getting a bit
lonely it's very easy to send a message or text and keep in contact with people
who are important to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I hope you've found this list of
interest. I'd love to hear what you enjoy most about summer and how you
overcome the challenges you may find with this time of year. Feel free to let
me know via the comments or Facebook. Enjoy your summer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-42427202624567575282014-07-19T04:30:00.000-07:002015-03-27T07:43:31.416-07:00A Little White Pill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHf6kWIgiVbjLuJeTQOb9YlXxEgUskTW3eizXUw7gsIhbE-e5_WjbVrfc1sna4XHPNaI4le6Jt_evDspm-9EcPndhvdSFXS-4At8mIx1hHEUZmmaoOvGhIn9EpYRhcaWzxWsGTT6SGRxI/s1600/Img_4050.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHf6kWIgiVbjLuJeTQOb9YlXxEgUskTW3eizXUw7gsIhbE-e5_WjbVrfc1sna4XHPNaI4le6Jt_evDspm-9EcPndhvdSFXS-4At8mIx1hHEUZmmaoOvGhIn9EpYRhcaWzxWsGTT6SGRxI/s1600/Img_4050.jpg" height="400" width="385" /></a></div>
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How do you medicate a neurological condition? You don't, but
in the absence of affordable therapies the healthcare
professionals often resort to throwing pills at the problems and hoping it goes
away. Due to the complex issues that living with autism causes I'm often
subject to severe anxiety, depression, hypoglycaemia, insomnia, digestive
problems; the list goes on. These can all be helped by medication so often
these side-affects to autism are managed with medication while leaving the underlying triggers in
place. Unfortunately this means that medications for ASD related issues can
have very strange and unexpected effects and interactions. Finding the right
balance can take years of trial and error.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We all have an opinion on medication, whether you're pro,
against, reliant on, don't need the pills. I hope with this post to give a
humorous look at my (unsuccessful) journey with meds. I've changed the names of
the meds and the doctors for two reasons. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. You may find
the meds effective and I would under no circumstances want to dissuade you from
taking what's been prescribed for you, this post is merely MY experiences - and I'm aware that
I am one of those people that has bad side effects. You may not!</div>
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<br /></div>
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2. The Doctors
and Pharmaceutical companies have better lawyers than me! Please don't sue me!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<b>So here is a light hearted look at my story.....</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Doctor, What do I
do??<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I'm having terrible meltdowns, help me!'</div>
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<br /></div>
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Doctor: 'Take 2mg Lethargopam tablets twice a day. they'll
sedate you'</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>1 month later...<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Me: 'These pills stop me functioning, I'm TOO sedated! this
isn't better! I'm getting terrible anxiety'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'Take 7.23mg Pumpozoidbloodmax 36mins before
meltdown, they'll help'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1 month later...<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I keep getting dizzy with these. I fell down the stairs and I can't remember anything that happened yesterday!'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'Increase the dose to 45mg Lethargopam tablets whenever you feel anxious and Take 2x 46mg Sparkofartozol with food 6 times a day,
they're highly addictive. You must not take them for more than a week. Here's four
week's worth'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1 day later...</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I felt anxious and took a Lethargopam, but still felt anxious. I've now had all 28 and still feel anxious!'</div>
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<br /></div>
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Doctor: 'That's a serious overdose! You must be running short, here's another 28 Lethargopam'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'Is it wise giving me more of these when I've just overdosed on them?'</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'You're catastrophising, take a lethargopam'</div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1 month later...<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I'm back to where I started and am now more anxious. I'm now depressed, Mr
Twinkleton has stopped functioning, my girlfriend is unhappy, I'm unhappy,take me off these stupid pills!'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'Oh? Is that a problem?'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'YES! FIX IT NOW!'</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'You'll get withdrawal effects if you come off them
now, possibly anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, heart failure, death
(*Seriously, these were genuinely listed!). Here's some Glumobetalol 72.35mg
capsules. Take one every 48 minutes.'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>1 month later...<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I'm puking in the mornings and have put on three stone
- these pills have made me PREGNANT!' </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doctor: 'Steve, you're catastrophising again. Take these Cranialblipodeathmax
560ton antipsychotics'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me: 'I'm not psychotic...'</div>
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<br /></div>
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Doctor: 'These pills will fix that - just don't take with
alcohol'</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>1 beer later<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unicorn: 'Steve, I've been pondering the meaning of life,
what are your thoughts?'</div>
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Me: 'Well Mr Unicorn, good question.....
wait.....unicorn?.... Why am I on pills that have made me hallucinate??'</div>
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Doctor: 'Well it's you're choice whether you take the pills
I prescribe. Here have some Lethargopam tablets. I see from your notes that
they didn't work last time so we'll try them again'</div>
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Flushed toilet...</div>
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nasty withdrawal effects...</div>
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<b>1 month later...<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Am I still on the pills?</div>
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Take a guess....</div>
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Well... I do still have medication but it's now much better controlled. I take a sedative to help with meltdowns, beta blockers for heart rate and sleeping pills sparingly. In extreme cases I find the medication I currently have seems to work well for me now, but I'm definitely far more cautious when it comes to which pills I take.</div>
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I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on medications and hear your stories. Have you found success with meds or do you find them unnecessary? Feel free to comment and share. </div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4389161775179059058.post-70705262585804821502014-07-11T16:37:00.001-07:002015-03-27T07:43:16.051-07:005 times you should tell someone you're an Aspie<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlYY_iEOwv17QFed4fxm0NFEFgHk0vl7aGPINn4EDpfLMurT8KjqV98WoHVQ9xBY7NJNPhTF1QqaHgMGreiN_ccyuI2OzdFmxlodl3aSQUOLlRLXUCIY9Ev8cz-fOS9POLeV73YBoCbI/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlYY_iEOwv17QFed4fxm0NFEFgHk0vl7aGPINn4EDpfLMurT8KjqV98WoHVQ9xBY7NJNPhTF1QqaHgMGreiN_ccyuI2OzdFmxlodl3aSQUOLlRLXUCIY9Ev8cz-fOS9POLeV73YBoCbI/s1600/2.jpg" height="320" width="280" /></a></div>
Should I tell them I'm Autistic? This question comes up
regularly and it's never an easy one to answer. Sensory Overload is hitting and
I feel myself building into a meltdown, I've started to draw attention to
myself and am acting odd. 'Should I say I'm autistic??' I panic, and excuse
myself by saying 'Sorry I'm just a bit drunk' and running off. This is a great
approach in a bar with friends but not ideal at work or when talking to the
police!</div>
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So when is a good time to disclose your condition? It varies
so much depending on circumstance and personal preference, but here is my top
five list of times I've found it helpful to come out of the autism closet....</div>
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<b>1. Dating<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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'Shouldn't they like me for me, why do they need to know?'
Indeed, if you're looking for a quick hook-up then great but if you're in for
something long-term, well if you're an aspie then it's part of you that might
be relevant to let them in on at some stage. In a relationship my aspie
tendencies can make relationship dynamics a bit different to what might be expected. A
great example is if I'm not feeling good then I need alone time; yet in a
relationship there is an expectation to talk. Do I want to be leaving a girl
feeling like I'm rejecting her when I'm just trying to fend off a meltdown? No,
of course not! But with open communication it's easier to talk about these
situations. I try and approach the subject of autism early in the dating game.
'Hi I'm Steve, I'm autistic' will send 'em running, but casually steering the
conversation towards the subject after a few dates seems to work well. It also
gives a clue as to their preconceptions. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmeuXiWvpAYsaa4SyvkvomyUnVoANFsEU1XWBTsnnK4o60wMTGrMA39Dj7s5-B4eikm3NNIkKueCHKmHPzZnpc01Wo4NisP_iWupO_feUajHm-3q02P17jIVj4bTpAaCD833s8ndcasBw/s1600/IMG_4038%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmeuXiWvpAYsaa4SyvkvomyUnVoANFsEU1XWBTsnnK4o60wMTGrMA39Dj7s5-B4eikm3NNIkKueCHKmHPzZnpc01Wo4NisP_iWupO_feUajHm-3q02P17jIVj4bTpAaCD833s8ndcasBw/s1600/IMG_4038%5B1%5D.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>'I did a talk at an asperger's support group last week' I
offered to my date. The reply,</div>
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'I dated a guy once,
he was well fit, but then he said he was autistic. I was like yeaugghhh!' </div>
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This one clearly wasn't to be the love of my life - at least
I knew before getting too involved!</div>
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<b>2. Work</b></div>
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Employment is a big issue and a big part of life. For me it
is a no brainer, my employers need to know! For many, the opposite response
would be heard. But why not be open with the people you probably spend most of
your day working alongside? Perhaps it comes down to this question...</div>
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'What if they discriminate!?' </div>
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Yes this is a real and ever present thought with employment.
The hard answer is, yes they might. It's a hard fact of life that people can
sometimes be small minded idiots and no amount of laws and legislation can
change that - this is exactly why I see it as essential to be open about it! Think
about it, a large portion of your life is spent at work. If your potential
management are unsupportive or discriminatory then perhaps it's better to find
out before accepting a job with them? </div>
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Assuming that you are not in possession of a magical neurocloaking
device which enables you to completely hide all aspie traits, it is likely that
at some point it will come out anyway. I feel more comfortable knowing I have
allies I can turn to if I get into difficulties. I've had many times in my
working life when I've had to address issues. It's never easy but when the
condition is already out in the open then it is easier to address the problem
directly. For instance simple communication difficulties can be addressed so
much faster if you aren't tiptoeing around not revealing yourself as autistic. </div>
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The benefits for me in disclosing this with management has
far outweighed any negatives I've ever encountered. Adjustments, flexibility
and genuine caring support from colleagues - all of which wouldn't have
happened if they hadn't have known.</div>
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Who and when to tell? I'd always say your line management
should know, but not necessarily all your colleagues. I think by posting this
blog everyone knows in my case, but for you, use your discretion and seek
advice from someone you trust.</div>
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When to tell? Again up to you, but Preferably before having a
meltdown at work. Believe me, having a meltdown at work if they haven't been
told about your condition is MESSY!</div>
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<b>3. Police</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-u2QS-VAtycE3MejTf-eZJsrvZLvFIEUeG5TEl2eiQiTCg496GuJ9TJI81j7rAipw1EZJnnaTdo1UeX9BL05D8151Ap4hFnvfYJ0ITzkWgb5FLm1SD2qFBaY_lmKJC_iBZ9Xd5U6nws/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-u2QS-VAtycE3MejTf-eZJsrvZLvFIEUeG5TEl2eiQiTCg496GuJ9TJI81j7rAipw1EZJnnaTdo1UeX9BL05D8151Ap4hFnvfYJ0ITzkWgb5FLm1SD2qFBaY_lmKJC_iBZ9Xd5U6nws/s1600/1.jpg" height="155" width="200" /></a></div>
You've just crashed the car and the police turn up. What do
you do? Have a meltdown probably! Any situation that involves the police will
probably be stressful in some way and acting odd at this stage is probably not
ideal. I carry an alert card in my wallet and car for this very reason. In the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region> all police
officers are (should be at least) autism trained and this does at least give
you a bit of back up should they start getting heavy handed. As a meltdown can
be mistaken for drunkenness or violence to an onlooker it is really in your
best interests to find a way of alerting them that it's not before you get
pepper-sprayed and dragged away. This has never happened to me, but the alert
card is staying just in case...</div>
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<b>4. Travel</b></div>
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Travel can be a very stressful thing and navigating
airports, train stations and bus depots triggers sensory overload. You are
trapped with bright lights, noise and people. By letting staff along your way
know of your condition you often find people go out of their way to ease your
journey. I always get pre-boarded on flights as this helps me settle before the
masses arrive. Sometimes it is possible to be met and escorted or found a quiet
room to wait.<br />
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<b>5. Leisure Activities</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjobNcsbc0LOA8DOsNbyi7RAv6GBFc4ZyzU3DGbT9CNejuogasjEL9yAE9RnXs-lXZpOSZZpECS3hMZjjwrU6rdwtZZ0b20YWk00sQfz4y0OZfIXTvHmELIyqsLnTPj_3KkmifVpvezbko/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjobNcsbc0LOA8DOsNbyi7RAv6GBFc4ZyzU3DGbT9CNejuogasjEL9yAE9RnXs-lXZpOSZZpECS3hMZjjwrU6rdwtZZ0b20YWk00sQfz4y0OZfIXTvHmELIyqsLnTPj_3KkmifVpvezbko/s1600/3.jpg" height="320" width="206" /></a>I was always naturally private about my diagnosis. 'I don't
want charity' I'd say and would never use the word disabled. Until one day. I
don't know what it was but something flipped and I just thought why not! 'I'm
disabled!' I chirp while waving my disabled badge at everyone. Doors open,
prices drop. Bonus.</div>
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Sounds like a great discount scheme but it's actually very
helpful and allows for access to places and activities that otherwise would be
a strain. Take theme parks for example. Most offer a queue jumping scheme for
those with proof of disability. Sounds like a good perk but unnecessary? A 2
hour queue with 200 other noisy people with no clear way out with bright lights
on a hot day. OVERLOAD! For most it's an annoyance, but for me it could trigger
a meltdown very publicly that renders me out of action for weeks. I'd just have
to avoid that ride altogether. The queue jump makes it possible, and why not?
Shouldn't we get access to attractions as well? </div>
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Thank you for taking the time to read this list. Please I'd
love to hear your thoughts on where is and isn't good to disclose your
condition, let me know via Facebook or by adding a comment. If you've enjoyed
reading this please feel free to share it.</div>
Steevothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05022266839600727532noreply@blogger.com2