Communication Confidence

Communication difficulties is possibly the most well known struggle that those on the autism spectrum face.

The aim of communication is to exchange information and ideas with others. It is an essential skill to have in life, whether we are simply communicating that we are say hungry or tired or engaging in more complex communications of a business negotiation or scientific research paper it is clear that communication skills are really quite important to all of us.

So what is it that makes communication hard for us aspies?

The trouble with communication is the way we are dealing with multiple streams of information at once and my brain struggles to interpret this.

Just think about the word ‘yes.’ It’s meaning is clear isn’t it? Well not quite. If it is said with a nod of the head it could mean that it’s a positive response. If the tone of voice raises at the end it could be a question (yes?). If you’ve just approached someone and they say ‘yes’ they are really saying ‘what do you want?’…..

The list goes on and it’s clear that even simple words change meaning depending on the context and tone they are spoken in. The same is true for text. If I SUDDENLY WRITE IN CAPITOLS you might think I’m being angry and shouting, or perhaps I’m just highlighting an important sentence for you to remember.

Most people simultaneously take in and understand these multiple messages and unspoken clues with little effort and can then respond the most appropriate way. For us aspies it’s often not the case and instead we need to consciously learn to read and understand the messages being given. In a way it is just like learning a foreign language. This is an analogy that has helped me greatly when I’ve found myself frustrated by communication difficulties. As a handy twist of fate, a fairly common aspie trait is a strong ability to learn and absorb information so learning to communicate fluently with the ‘native neurotypicals’ can be both fun and achievable, so long have patience and persistence. So where do we start?

I’ve listed a few pointers that have helped me along the way and I hope they help you too. At the end of this post I will use some example situations to get you started but intend to go deeper in further posts.

These are tips have worked for me in the past, but we all learn in different ways so please have fun adapting this to suit you and please feel free to add any tips you have found helpful to the comments section.

1: Who do you want to communicate with?

In the above examples I showed how communication varies greatly depending on the situation.

Before even starting to work out how and what to communicate we need to think about who you want to communicate with. Perhaps you want to be better at communicating with friends, or colleagues at work, or emails, or phone calls, the choice is yours.

2: Identify the Challenges

Now you have decided which style of communication you want to improve I’m going to ask you to do something important, but uncomfortable.

Make a list (either on paper on in your head) of what you find difficult about this. Be as critical and brutal as you like.

It feels very un-natural to be critical and negative when trying to learn something but actually I find this a helpful exercise. Usually we are encouraged to ‘think positively’ but actually for this process we need to be able to separate what we can already do and what we struggle with.

So perhaps you’re now sat looking at a list and feeling a bit defeated. Actually what you are looking at is a list of things we are going to learn how to conquer. We have identified our enemy and it’s time fight these challenges.

3: Set some Goals

Looking at our list of challenges we might start to feel overwhelmed, where do you even start?

What we want to do here is start to break down these issues even further and form a set of goals that are manageable.

Perhaps we have said that we find making friends hard because you don’t understand people. It would be a huge task to tell ourselves that we are going to suddenly have friends overnight, but perhaps we can break this down into smaller chunks. What do you need to learn here? Perhaps learning to better understand body language might help? Or learning some conversation starters? Building some self confidence to meet people? – these can all be made into smaller, more manageable goals. Instead of setting myself a challenge of being perfect at communicating with friends, I could say ‘this month I will try and learn how to start a conversation’ – this is achievable and a step towards my final goal.

What skills do you think might help you to achieve your goal and what skills do others seem to ‘just have’?

4: Learn – Study & Research

Now we know what it is we want to know how to do, how so we gain the skills to be able to do it? It’s time to get our academic heads on here and start to study.

What we are doing here is asking all the questions you were probably afraid to ask, but there’s no silly questions here and we have a great tool at our hands to help us along…. The internet.

The internet allows us access to vast amounts of information and it’s time to tap into this. What we are looking for is information and advice on the topic we are looking for. It is helpful for me to ask the question ‘how do you ...... ?’ as if I am looking to see what exactly it is the other person, this gives me clues as to what I can start to practice.

            Perhaps you want to learn how to improve eye contact – ask the internet ‘how do you      improve eye contact?’

           

            Perhaps you want to know how to invite a new friend over - ask the internet ‘how do        you invite a new friend over?’

            Perhaps you want to improve your writing skills - ask the internet ‘how do you     improve your writing skills?’

Can you see the theme developing here?

As we search we will come up against lots of information, so how do we know what is relevant? For this we have to give ourselves a filter. Do I find what I’m reading helpful? If yes, then I can consider it and move on – if not, scrap it and move on.

Having trusted people (perhaps a care worker, family member, support group or friend) to chat through ideas with is a great help too.

Some useful websites I’ve found are http://www.helpguide.org/, http://psychcentral.com/ and http://www.wikihow.com, but you can also have a look for ideas on YouTube and Google. Always remember though that you will simply be reading other peoples ideas, so if you do not agree with what you read or you try something out and it doesn’t work for you then simply leave it. If in doubt ask a trusted person for their advice.

5: PRACTICE! - Step out of your comfort zone

So by now we are brimming with knowledge about your new skill. Perhaps you now know the correct way to use newly learned phrase or can recite the rules on small talk etiquette, but you still come across as robotic or fake. This is because we need real practice with real people. This takes courage and persistence but is what moves us from knowing how to communicate to actually communicating naturally and comfortably.

Look for as many chances to practice what you learned in step 4 as possible – and don’t be afraid to get it wrong!

I’ve often found that I get great practice by going and staying at a youth hostel or joining a tour, even if it’s in my local city. A day spent with tourists has two advantages – As I’m around people from different areas a lot of my differences are immediately seen as being because I’m assumed to be from elsewhere and I start with a clean slate. I am also able to make as many embarrassing mistakes as I like fairly consequence free – I’ll never see them again!

The tricky part is that there is still some embarrassment and it’s still often a long and frustrating process but one that opens your horizons and has real results. The adventures you take add to the experiences you can then chat about in future. Volunteering in a charity shop gave me practice in speaking to the public AND a good story to share at a job interview. A weekend in a youth hostel in San Francisco put in the deep end learning to socialise in a Night Club, Coffee Shops and taught me to make small talk AND provided great storied to share with people when I get back.

Just by focusing on a small element of the overall issue we identified in part 1 we are building our confidence and having an adventure along the way.

6: Enjoy yourself

As you start to build your confidence then it is great to look back to what you want to try and improve next. We never stop learning and developing our skills and as you conquer your fears you can have a great time learning the skills you want to be able to communicate well.

I hope you have enjoyed this post and found it of help. I really look forward to hearing about the adventures you have as you learn new ways to communicate. Please feel free to share this post and leave comments.

I will be covering this topic in far more detail in future blogs so please feel free to let me know of any tips you would like to share or any topics you would like to read more about.

Communication Confusion

Crowded, hot and noisy marquees aren't my favourite place and I was feeling very overwhelmed just being here, crammed into this humid dome with 10000 others. I'd been invited by a friend and I'd decided to come to this weekend festival just to try something new, have a new experience. If it was terrible I could just go home! I tried to make an assessment about where to sit and decided that right at the front would be best as then I couldn't see the mass of other bodies! Perhaps at the back by the door would have been more logical but I went for it anyway. At the front I discovered a quiet area next to the sign language interpreter and settled myself down for the start of the celebration.

I've not given sign language much thought before, 'how would they interpret the music?' I wondered. While the crowd behind stood and sung with their voices, in front I watched as the song transformed into bold movement and expression as the sign language interpreter lead his followers into a depth of meaning in the song seemingly missed by the thousands who stood limply behind us.

It was truly beautiful to watch. The energy and passion spread and by the end of the weekend we were all dancing. For the first time in years I was using more than just my words to express my feelings, I was using my whole self, it was liberating. 

That weekend taught me an important lesson about communication. Communication involves far more than just words.

It is easy to pinpoint the main causes of communication difficulties the deaf community face, but how does this relate to me, an aspie? 

As an aspie my brain takes in information in a slightly different way to most and growing up this gave me a slightly different communication style. Add into this the relentless negative responses when you get it wrong, it's no wonder communication can be hard!

When communicating our aim is to share information with others, feelings, desires, thoughts, information..... As humans we do this in full Technicolor, using our words, tones, voices, ears, body language, eyes, facial expressions, it all pains a picture to give the full meaning intended. Most people learn how to juggle all of this subconsciously, but my aspie brain is more into creating neat stacks of information and goes for the quickest and most direct route. This produces an often cold and robotic response that often misses the point.

Just think about the word 'yes' - depending on the tone and volume it's said, the inflection and the speaker's body language and context of the word it could mean pretty much anything! 

          Yes shouted angrily could mean I'm busy go away! 

          Yes? could be asking what do you want?

          Yes! sarcastically could even mean no!

Without any clues however the word 'yes' is only going to mean 'yes' - confusion is not surprising! I end up frustrated wondering why 'yes' can't just mean 'yes'!?

In many ways it is like comparing different languages. We may both be speaking English, but the meaning is getting distorted leading to confusion all around. It often feels as though I am in the wrong for not being understood but actually this isn't the case and it really shouldn't be a blame game here. I simply have a different way of communicating - a different language!

Changing my thinking around to this has really helped me tackle my own communication struggles. Instead of telling myself that I 'Can't' communicate, I see it as an opportunity to learn.

It can often feel like everyone else should meet me in the middle here but in reality it is a lot easier to learn how to communicate in as many ways as I can rather than expecting literally everyone to do it my way. It takes time and practice but is surprisingly rewarding. Simply typing questions like 'How to start conversations' into Google brings you so much information, so have a look for yourself and see what you can find.

There are of course times you really do need to have someone communicate on your level and this is fine too. I find it has helped me to be able to script and practice ways of asking for this. Lecturing someone on how something 'SHOULD be done because I have AUTISM' doesn't seem to go down well, but toning it down and perhaps saying, 'please could you write that down for me' or 'I'm sorry I have difficulty using the phone, I will make the arrangements with you via email' are ways of getting the point across without being too confrontational.

It really is a huge topic and I just wanted to write this post as an introduction this week. I will be continuing this topic in the future to cover far more detail. I'd love to hear from you about your experience and any particular aspects of communication you would like to be covered more in upcoming posts. 

I started this post with a story about sign language and thought I would try and find a nice video to end this week's post with. I came across this video, A version of Cyndi Lauper's True Colours recorded by Artists Against Bullying and signed in ASL by the Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.

Coping With Christmas

Coping With Christmas

 

The holiday season is upon us and it’s time again to take part in fun filled festivities, eat turkey, fill our houses with lights and decorations and eagerly listen for the sound of sleigh bells announcing the arrival of Santa with exciting presents. Family and friends gather and share joy and happiness to one and all and we make our way to the atmospheric carol service where we celebrate in the Christian heritage of this wonderful time of year. The lights and commotion all get too much, the noise is deafening, the chores and pressure to all encompassing and all routine is destroyed…

The excitement and expectations of a perfect Christmas can be a challenge for those affected by autism. For me there are parts of the holiday season I really love, but others that are a minefield. So what can we do to make Christmas ho ho ho, rather than ho ho NO!?

In this post I’d like to share with you a few strategies I have found helpful. I hope that if you or your child struggles over Christmas then you might find some of these helpful and enjoy reading this post. You may have tips that you have found helpful to you that I’ve not thought of so please feel welcome to add these to the comments section.

Make a plan

Regardless of how or if we celebrate Christmas ourselves, it is likely that it will have an impact on our usual routines. Work schedules are likely to change (in my case my office closes for a whole two weeks), schools break, shops have different opening hours, clubs and support networks often break. As someone who lives by my routines this is challenging so I try and plan ahead as much as possible.

What is key for me is plotting out what is happening and when in a format that’s very easy to see. I use a page per day diary but in the past have used a wall chart. Whatever works best for you is fine as we all have our own ways of making sense of information.

Being able to clearly see where my commitments are in advance helps me to adjust to changes in routine over the holidays.

Set a budget

Christmas is an expensive time. Everything from stocking up the fridge with goodies, buying presents for loved ones, travelling to see family, parties and social commitments can send the budget sky-high.

It is a good idea to set a clear budget before wild spending on credit. How much do you want to spend on each person’s presents etc, can you afford to attend both of the Christmas parties you’ve been invited to? Planning ahead can save the stressful and expensive bill from arriving come the New Year.

Make your OWN traditions

It is often easy to get weighed down with following what you think you ‘should’ be doing over Christmas. Just because you ‘always’ go to that Christmas market doesn’t mean you ‘have to’ do it. Christmas can work around you and your needs and it is fun making your own traditions tailored to you. Get creative and think of little things you can do that might make the season all the more fun and personal for you and your family.

Growing up we had some great little traditions in our household. My favourite was on Christmas Eve. I had a Christmas Pillowcase that needed to be left on my bed for the elves to collect. I’d take great care decorating it and leave it out ready. Without fail it would vanish and in the morning it would have reappeared in the lounge filled with presents. I knew from an early age that it was most likely my parents removing the pillow case, but they insisted they wouldn’t confess to anything until I was 18. Each year my attempts to catch them in the act got more and more elaborate, but they always managed to remove the case without me catching them. This game of cat and mouse actually served a really good role at distracting me and keeping me occupied while mum set about the laborious task of preparing the meal for the following day and getting the house ready for visitors.

What traditions do you have?

Make decorating an event

As someone who doesn’t like change, returning home to find a random tree in the lounge would be a bit much for me! In our house decorating was a family event. We would all be involved in placing the decorations and I often spent time making decorations for the tree. This involvement helped me adjust to the changes and helped build excitement rather than fear of the commotion of the season.

My favourite activity was always building the gingerbread house and nativity scene we would place in the shrank. It had a full set of sugar figurines. Every year I pleaded with mum to let me eat one. I was never allowed, but they had been in use since the 70s so may not have been that tasty!

Get some exercise

With the cold days and long dark nights it can be very easy to spend the whole holiday wrapped up warm inside. I always find it helpful to get exercise and importantly, fresh air. Perhaps you can head out on a walk around the neighbourhood to see the Christmas lights, go hunting for pine cones to get crafty and turn into decorations or avoid the traffic by walking to the shops.

Set aside a quiet sanctuary

With all the noise and excitement I find it very helpful to set aside a quiet place to escape to if it all gets too much. Being able to take a time out from the celebrations to relax and recharge can help so much and is something I’d recommend to anyone.

Know your socialising limits

Christmas is one of the times of the year when the much sought after social invites come in thick and fast. Work Christmas Parties, Family Gatherings, Clubs Christmas Socials…

It is easy to say yes to everything and for me I can get overwhelmed faster than I realise. I try and set limits to how much I engage in these parties. So often I can get carried along with the flow and find I’ve over done it and I’m at capacity. There is a fine line between having a great evening and becoming exhausted and having a bad time. Know your limits and hopefully you’ll have a great time.

Take time to get back into routines after Christmas

 

Whatever your feelings about Christmas, It’s all over fast and everything returns to normal. If there have been major disruptions to your routine it’s good to return to your usual routine as smoothly as possible. Try and plan ahead if you can. For example if you need to get up for work or school early then give yourself a few fays to readjust rather than suddenly switching your wake up call from 11am to 7am.

I hope you've found this of interest. I'd love to hear what you enjoy most about Christmas and how you overcome the challenges you may find with this time of year. Feel free to let me know via the comments or Facebook. Merry Christmas to you all!

Helping Work to Work For You - 10 Reasonable Adjustments

10 Reasonable Adjustments – Helping Work to Work For You

Employment can often feel like a daunting mountain to scale and sometimes the barriers presented to an autistic person can make the world of work seem unachievable. So often just a small and simple adjustment can help no end and help you flourish.

In last week’s blog I shared my own personal story of employment. This week I wanted to share some of the adjustments that have helped me along the way. It is important to remember that in this post I am sharing my own personal experiences and what has worked for me might not necessarily work for you, but I do hope that it can give you some ideas to think about. I work in an office environment so these adjustments reflect that, but many could be used in other settings equally as well.

So what is a ‘reasonable adjustment’? I asked this question to the Occupational Health Assessor I had been sent to see.

She explained that it is an agreed (formally or informally) set of changes that can be implemented by your employers to help you achieve your best in your job. They can be flexible to help you through a difficult patch or put in place as a long term option. Each workplace will have different requirements so it’s best to be able to discuss with your management or careers advisor on what can be offered.

But what’s ‘Reasonable’ and ‘Unreasonable’?

My advisor suggested that enlisting a circus to cheer me up would be unreasonable, but a clown assigned to my office might be reasonable.

I understand what she was trying to convey with this answer, but having a clown would freak me out and not be of any use. I’m also not sure which of my colleagues would be best suited to this task….

So on to some ideas that have been more realistic….

1: Flexible Hours

Flexible working hours has been one the most useful tools available to me in assisting my employment. In essence it works by allowing me the flexibility to choose my hours of work rather than having a fixed and rigid shift pattern. This obviously has boundaries (a window of time to start and end the day in, communicate with my management my projected working times, complete my contracted hours over a set period etc) but even small amounts of flexibility are game changers.

In a previous job that didn’t allow for flexible hours I encountered a situation classic of how my condition can effect things. The drive into work was stressful and a number of delays meant that I arrived at the office 3 minutes late. I was already feeling overloaded by the disrupted commute but the reprimand for being late resulted in a meltdown so severe I was signed off sick by the doctor. The result – stress and loss of money for me and a loss of an employee for a week for the company – a lot for the sake of a 3 minute delay!

With flexible working this situation wouldn’t have even caused a ripple – I would have allowed an extra few minutes to calm down and made up the lost time later in the week. A win for both myself and the company.

2: Home Working

Another option that has helped me in the past is the ability to work from home. For me an occasional day working from laptop or doing an online course can help me still be productive on the days when I’m not well enough to drive or have awkwardly timed medical appointments. In my job it is limited what I can do from home, but perhaps in yours this would be a great option to explore?

3: Time Outs

This is another adaptation that has been the difference between a productive day and complete fail for me. The ability to get up and take a break. This obviously has to be kept within constraints – Clearly I should tell someone that I need a break first and taking a 10 minute break every 10 minutes would be ridiculous so it must be kept reasonable.

The practical application of this is times I feel I’m getting overloaded or approaching meltdown. Taking myself away for a few minutes to have a glass of water, walk around the building or simply sit in a quiet room allows me to be able to calm things down and make a rational decision how to proceed. I use this flexibility to take regular breaks between tasks to focus on the next task to be completed and helps balance my day.

4: Increased Sickness Trigger Points

One of the implications of living with a disability is that I unfortunately have more than my fair share of days off sick. As well as the direct autism related issues (meltdowns, tiredness, overload, depression, anxiety etc) that can render a day unmanageable there is also another factor, lower immunity. All of the negative effects that autism can bring as well as many of the medication can make me more susceptible to usual mild health concerns.

Most employers have a set trigger point relating to sickness absence and exceeding the number of sick days allowed can trigger disciplinary action. As it is recognised I potentially will exceed this I have an increased trigger point.

5: Time Allowances for Medical Appointments

A frustration of being in full time employment is the absence virtually any support during the evenings. I sometimes need to leave work early in order to attend hospital appointments, care appointments or therapy. Even the support groups happen during daytime hours, the nearest to me that meets in the evenings is 50 miles away. My employers have allowed the flexibility to attend these appointments. Hopefully as services improve there will be more options for evening support. For now the messages from the support providers are ‘we’ll help you become employable’ and their actions say ‘We won’t provide help accessible to the employed.’ This remains an ongoing frustration.

6: Mentorship

Mentorship is something that I have tended to source myself informally, although there are options to arrange this more formally. Mentorship provides a point of contact who can guide and advise on issues relating to employment. I’ve got a good working relationship with a number of colleagues and line management and use this as mentorship. If I don’t understand something or want advice on how to respond or deal with a situation then this is where I go for advice. When changing jobs I have used the union for mentorship on approaching employers and making applications. Whether you do this formally, informally or both, this is something that can be immensely helpful.

7: Advocacy

Very often I come across as being a very confident and articulate when I speak so it can come as a surprise that I often require an advocate. An advocate is someone who I have allowed to speak on my behalf. At times, especially when recovering from a meltdown or sensory overload, I need someone to act on my behalf in making arrangements and decisions. For me it tends to fall on my assigned support worker or my parents. It does embarrass me no end having to delegate this, but having established this with my employers removes the immediate embarrassment of having to explain why as an adult I got my dad to phone in sick for me. In a previous position I was required to only speak for myself (I think this is legally questionable) but luckily since I’ve been able to name individuals who can speak on my behalf should I need them to.

8: Communication Filtering

This is a long way of saying, ‘give me that info in a different way.’ Some people are visual, some prefer words, some like emails, some like the phone……

Too much information in different formats confuses me and causes an overload. I’m visual and need things written down. To some degree I can adjust this myself. I always have a notepad with me and write down instructions and if I can I will ask the person to email me the details of the task. This rarely causes anyone to even raise an eyebrow. In a past job a system was put in place where all jobs coming my way were filtered via my line manager who’d re-write them into a format I understood. At the time this was a huge help but in my current job isn’t needed. This is a good example of how adaptations can vary over time.

The telephone is a particular one to note. I find using the telephone particularly difficult for both communication and sensory reasons. In previous jobs I’ve been able to put in place adaptations ranging from screening calls using an answer phone to being taken off the phones altogether. In my current post this isn’t suitable and the phone is central to a lot of my work. I’ve had to find ways around these difficulties and it currently doesn’t cause too many problems (on the surface at least!). This shows how sometimes full adjustments just aren’t suitable and you have to make efforts to manage the difficulty in other ways. I have scripted out texts to remind me what to say on the phone and plan calls before making them as I know this helps me.

9: Office Plan Review

Something often overlooked, but very important, is the layout of the office. Slight changes to my desk or even location in the office can create huge benefits. As I am visual and have difficulty processing sound I find it better to face in towards my colleagues and the door. This way I can see if someone wants to talk to me and helps me become part of the team. If the office becomes a bit noisy I have the option to move to a quieter desk for a short while to help me concentrate on my tasks. Perhaps there are adjustments like this that may benefit you?

10: Involvement of External Agencies

Numerous organisations and charities offer various means of supporting you in work. This may be by coaching you, speaking with your managers or advising of more formalised changes. It is always worth looking around and seeing if there are any services near you who can assist you in being successful in your job.

I hope in this post I have shown that sometimes very small adjustments can have a very positive impact for both you and your employers. I’d be very interested to hear your comments on what adaptations have been successful for you in your line of work or what you feel might help you in finding a job. I will be covering this topic in future posts and if you have found this of interest then please feel free to share.

Next time on Steve's Aspie Adventures:

My next post will be in two weeks time where I will look at the subject of putting our difficulties into perspective and asking this question:

• Does recognising that others may be in a worse situation than you act as a helpful or unhelpful viewpoint?

Let me know what you think... 

8 Summer Survival Tips

Summer is a time of year I love. The sun, the beach, getting outdoors, BBQs, all great fun, but for many this is one of the most challenging times of the year. For us aspies change is a big deal, but someone forgot to tell Mother Nature and she's decided it's time to heat the Northern Hemisphere up again for another few months...

Schools close down, my regular support networks go into 'summer mode' - regular meetings stop and sensory issues take on a whole new dimension.

Growing up I found school so traumatic that the prospect of 6 weeks off excited me no end, but I'm sure my parents dreaded this! Even though I enjoy summer I still get affected by the disruption.

In this post I'd like to share the top 8 things I've found that have helped me make the most of the summer months. I hope you enjoy reading this and if this is an area you or your child struggles with then I do hope it is helpful or gives some ideas you might be able to try.

1.  Make a plan

BBQ invites, pool party, summer club, family visits, friends out of town, is quiz night still happening? What's going on?!

How do I co-ordinate the ad-hoc randomness that is summer? I plan. I plan everything. Neat, orderly and visual is how I roll, so for me making sense of summer involves a plan too.

I have both a wall planner to plot my weekly schedule and a page a day diary to track what I intend to do. It's colour coded and very visual. I can instantly see what is and more importantly what isn't happening. Now I work full time it is far easier to keep routines going but over my school days having a visual chart made it easier to see what was happening. 1 week at home, 1 week at Granddad's, 1 week back home etc. It may sound overkill to plan in such detail, but a simple change in my regular routine can cause me huge confusion if I'm not careful. If I'm used to attending club on a Wednesday evening but it's not on during August, then I default to being confused every Wednesday in August. It's far easier to plan advance what I'll do during that time so I don't go into a spin over it later.

2.  Have a sleep routine

I don't sleep well EVER. Summer is worse. I barely sleep AT ALL! OK, so this may be an exaggeration but tiredness features very large in summer for me. My sensory issues mean I struggle with the heat, the light and the sound. If it's too hot, I won't sleep, if it's too bright I won't sleep, if it's too loud... you get the picture.

So here in the UK heat is a relative thing. I'm too hot today and it's 20C (68F) - I've just had a message from a friend in the USA, it's 40C (106F) there. I should quit my complaining and move to Greenland! It does however mean that I have a very low tolerance to heat when it comes to sleeping, the bedroom must be cool!

This far north the issue of light also causes problems. It gets dark at about 10:30pm and light again at 4am. I have a thick blanket I drape over the blinds to keep the light out, otherwise I'm wide awake very early! Of course this unhelpfully keeps the room nice and toasty.

Noise might not seem a particularly summer issue but here's the problem. In the winter my window is shut and everyone is inside, nice and quiet. In the summer the opposite is true. Saturday night I had the pleasure of listening to a neighbours party roll on until 4am, it wasn't a crazy party, but enough to stop me settling.

I live in a crowded British town, so until I win the lottery and move to an isolated cottage in Svalbard I have to prepare for sleep in advance. Making sure to keep the room cool, earplugs at hand, no caffeine after noon and if all else fails a cup of warm milk and a nice book.

3.  Know your limits

It's so easy to take on too much in the summer. I find it hard to sit indoors when the sun is out. Britain is famous for it's rain, it's true it rains any when and everywhere. If it's sunny it could last an hour or a week, but there's no guarantee. So many times the sun comes out, you plan a beach trip for tomorrow, by then it's cold and rainy. I have a tendency to end up doing too much and forgetting the importance of resting and having days off. I make a point of planning 'Do Nothing' days in my diary to make sure I get to recharge.

4. Keep hydrated

I think everyone gets a bit moody when they're a bit dehydrated, but it's especially important for me as getting a bit moody makes me less likely to spot and deal with meltdowns. Meltdowns can cause my body temperature to soar and have seriously dehydrated myself this way in the past. I have water at hand everywhere I go and make sure I keep drinking regularly even if I don't recognise I need it.

5. Sun screen, sun screen and more sun screen

The lobster look isn't great and we all know the dangers of sunburn. The problem is applying the lotion. I don't like the feel of it and I don't especially like being touched so getting someone to rub it in is a pain. What's more of a pain though is dealing with the sleep problems when I've turned into a 6foot blister on legs. I think the sensory issue of yucky lotion is better than skin cancer. I tell myself each year that I'll learn this issue; I say as I type away with sunburn yet again.

6. Earplugs

Earplugs? Yes earplugs are on my summer survival list. People get loud in summer, windows get opened, music gets played. I want quiet. Easiest solution is to put in earplugs. If I'm out I'll substitute these for headphones. They don't have to be connected to anything, they can simply muffle the noise enough for me to enjoy the beach or park or wherever I am. I think my parents might have liked this approach when I was a child too. Seeing someone with headphones on is a great visual clue that I shouldn't keep talking at them. It might have saved my parents the constant interruptions from me while excitedly showing them my collection of woodlice or broken pottery or whatever I was whittering on about as a child!

7. Get outdoors

Alone or with friends and family, I love to get outdoors. I like to get out all year round but summer offers some great new options. I had lunch today sat by outside and then spend the afternoon reading a book. Very peaceful and relaxing. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. I find that the exercise and fresh air helps me sleep and lifts my mood. Geocaching is a personal favourite. Fun for adults and children alike. A modern global treasure hunt. In essence it is using multimillion dollar satellites to help you locate hidden Tupperware boxes filled with rubbish toys. Give it a try!

8. Stay in touch

Finally for me it's important to stay in touch. Friends and family who may be away and disruption to routine can leave me feeling isolated. The wonders of the internet allow for easy communication with people around the world. If I recognise I'm getting a bit lonely it's very easy to send a message or text and keep in contact with people who are important to me.

I hope you've found this list of interest. I'd love to hear what you enjoy most about summer and how you overcome the challenges you may find with this time of year. Feel free to let me know via the comments or Facebook. Enjoy your summer!