It's not a secret that I take things
very literally. It's a common trait for us aspies to not understand when
something is
meant to be taken seriously or is just a saying, and this can create some confusion. What might be just a simple request or statement can lead me to blankly staring at you with a quizzical expression on my face or partaking in some rather bizarre behaviour. But why? We've got our wonderfully quirky and bizarre language to thank for that! Have you ever stopped and thought about how random some of our everyday sayings are? This week I've compiled a list of the 10 sayings that mean something very different to my literal way of thinking. So lets get started, make yourself comfortable and...
1. Take a seat...
Take it where? Why would you want me to
take a seat, is that not stealing? Oh, I guess that you want me to be seated so
I'll sit down. That's when you say...
2. You alright?
Why wouldn't I be alright? Ah yes this
is just a greeting, umm what's the correct response....'you alright mate?' - of
course, silly me, but I'd still like to answer your random greeting-question
and actually tell you if I'm alright. You try and make things better by
saying...
3. Every cloud has a silver lining...
Well no they don't. Clouds aren't known
for their silver content, you never tend to hear weather forecasts warning of
low pressure systems bringing in heavy silver accumulation, turning to gold at
high altitude. That would certainly make jewellery cheaper. Speaking of the
weather it is raining hard today. Yes you say...
3. It's raining cats and dogs....
No, it's definitely not. It's raining water.
How are you mistaking that wet stuff out there to be furry pets? It's not
unheard of for there to be isolated fish or frog showers but not cats and dogs.
Do you need to 'take a seat' as you say, I think you might be hallucinating.
You don't seem impressed with my observations and tell me to...
6. Put a sock in it...
Put a sock in
what? What purpose will putting my socks anywhere other than on my feet have
exactly? I guess I better take my socks off and wait for further instructions.
You seem exasperated and tell me to stop wasting time and...
4. Pull your socks up...
Whoa, now you just told me to put my
socks in something and now you're cross because you want me to pull them up?
Seriously dude, what's your fascination with my socks? As I put them back on
you notice how great they look ( I have fabulous socks!) and compliment them by
saying that they're...
7. The bees knees...
No, they're not. There is no comparison
between bees knees and anything other than bees knees. How my fantastic socks
(or indeed anything else) could be described as being 'the bees knees' is
beyond me. Knees aren't even a bee's best feature. I'd go for their bright
colours or efficient pollen collection ability. Why then is it OK for you to
compare my splendid socks with bees knees but I'd be the odd one if I say 'hey
Jimmy I think your new phone is as great as a bees pollen collection ability!'
Actually this is what I might start to say from now on. You laugh and say I'm...
8. taking the piss...
Right so lets use my powers of
deduction here, by 'taking the seat' you meant 'sit down' so by 'taking the
piss' you want me to sit in the..... oh..... Yeurgh. WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?!
No! you say, it means you were being
silly; you put me right about this one fast and tell me to...
9. Lighten up...
You saying I'm fat.... well I guess I
could do with getting a bit lighter, I have been eating a lot of cakes
recently. No? That's not what you meant, Perhaps you want the room to 'lighten
up' I'll turn on the lamp. Anyway now it's now coming to the end of my blog
post, We say our goodbyes and as I leave the room you say...
10. Break a leg
Charming...
Thank you for taking the time to read
this list. I'd love to hear your stories about taking things literally. Perhaps
you have some funny stories or experiences to share. Please feel free to
comment and share this post.
People say "have a good one" I want to know "a good one what?"-people that say "my friend" or "buddy" or "pal" when they do not know me personally is very annoying to me
ReplyDeleteHave a Good Day is have a good one :) ha ha or how about when they say Bro. that is annoying too
DeleteJokes,I don't get jokes unless I tell them, and then not all the time.
ReplyDeleteI take everything literally the first time, but then I learn that it has a 2nd meaning that needs attributing to it and log it for the next time. I even use metaphors on occasion. However, I still have to think about it, it doesn't come naturally, and I have to understand why, where it comes from before I would consider using it.
ReplyDeleteOnce as a kid I was with my grandma and I was being hyper and she told me to "cool it" I brought her a cup of ice... She thought I was trying to be a "smart ass" (as if that could actually be smart) I honestly thought she wanted me to cool something off.... What better way to cool something than with ice, right?
ReplyDeleteI also never understood how you can "kill time" or "waste electricity" Why do American football players "eat the clock"? (guess they are hungry) the saying "hide and watch" used to scare me because I didn't know why I needed to hide. I didn't understand how I was supposed to "hold my horses" They weigh more than I do, and besides I didn't have any to hold. I got called a "jackass" a few times... (I am most certainly NOT a donkey...) I could go on all night.... If it could possibly be taken for a literal meaning, I probably did at least at one point take it for it's literal meaning...
This just completely made my night :)
ReplyDeleteCalling an adult with whom you are in a romantic relationship an infant as an endearment. No one in my close famiy used "baby" or "babe" as a pet name so I wasn't conditioned to it. I am 4'11" (150 cm) and 95 lbs and stopped getting the kid's menu when I was 18 and happened to go in and ask for our table while Dad was still helping Mom into her wheelchair. I'm now 36 and people still think I am a teenager- I've had waiters change the way they speak to me after I order a drink and show my card. Once when I was deciding whether or not to have wine the waitress was changing her speech so much when she got to me (Dad having been raised by his Southern grandparents and enough Aspie traits that the waiter doesn't get to go around the table but instead Dad essentially calls role from the oldest generation's females down to me, then the males by generation (my mother and aunts, and he and my uncle, order by convenient place at the table at leas... what was I talking about again? Oh yeah...) When the waitress came to me her voice and body language changed enough to throw me off kilter, so I ordered wine so that for the rest of the meal I could predict her interactions with me based on how she treated the others. The female friend I met online doesn't know my size, and I know she calls our mutual friends, people she knows are older than me, in the group private message list "Babe." And after over 2 years it still throws me for a moment
ReplyDelete