A Little White Pill

How do you medicate a neurological condition? You don't, but in the absence of affordable therapies the healthcare professionals often resort to throwing pills at the problems and hoping it goes away. Due to the complex issues that living with autism causes I'm often subject to severe anxiety, depression, hypoglycaemia, insomnia, digestive problems; the list goes on. These can all be helped by medication so often these side-affects to autism are managed with medication while leaving the underlying triggers in place. Unfortunately this means that medications for ASD related issues can have very strange and unexpected effects and interactions. Finding the right balance can take years of trial and error.

We all have an opinion on medication, whether you're pro, against, reliant on, don't need the pills. I hope with this post to give a humorous look at my (unsuccessful) journey with meds. I've changed the names of the meds and the doctors for two reasons.

1.         You may find the meds effective and I would under no circumstances want to dissuade you from taking what's been prescribed for you, this post is merely MY experiences - and I'm aware that I am one of those people that has bad side effects. You may not!

2.         The Doctors and Pharmaceutical companies have better lawyers than me! Please don't sue me!

So here is a light hearted look at my story.....

Doctor, What do I do??

Me: 'I'm having terrible meltdowns, help me!'

Doctor: 'Take 2mg Lethargopam tablets twice a day. they'll sedate you'

1 month later...

Me: 'These pills stop me functioning, I'm TOO sedated! this isn't better! I'm getting terrible anxiety'

Doctor: 'Take 7.23mg Pumpozoidbloodmax 36mins before meltdown, they'll help'

1 month later...

Me: 'I keep getting dizzy with these. I fell down the stairs and I can't remember anything that happened yesterday!'

Doctor: 'Increase the dose to 45mg Lethargopam tablets whenever you feel anxious and Take 2x 46mg Sparkofartozol with food 6 times a day, they're highly addictive. You must not take them for more than a week. Here's four week's worth'

1 day later...

Me: 'I felt anxious and took a Lethargopam, but still felt anxious. I've now had all 28 and still feel anxious!'

Doctor: 'That's a serious overdose! You must be running short, here's another 28 Lethargopam'

Me: 'Is it wise giving me more of these when I've just overdosed on them?'

Doctor: 'You're catastrophising, take a lethargopam'

1 month later...

Me: 'I'm back to where I started and am now more anxious. I'm now depressed, Mr Twinkleton has stopped functioning, my girlfriend is unhappy, I'm unhappy,take me off these stupid pills!'

Doctor: 'Oh? Is that a problem?'

Me: 'YES! FIX IT NOW!'

Doctor: 'You'll get withdrawal effects if you come off them now, possibly anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, heart failure, death (*Seriously, these were genuinely listed!). Here's some Glumobetalol 72.35mg capsules. Take one every 48 minutes.'

1 month later...

Me: 'I'm puking in the mornings and have put on three stone - these pills have made me PREGNANT!'

Doctor: 'Steve, you're catastrophising again. Take these Cranialblipodeathmax 560ton antipsychotics'

Me: 'I'm not psychotic...'

Doctor: 'These pills will fix that - just don't take with alcohol'

1 beer later

Unicorn: 'Steve, I've been pondering the meaning of life, what are your thoughts?'

Me: 'Well Mr Unicorn, good question..... wait.....unicorn?.... Why am I on pills that have made me hallucinate??'

Doctor: 'Well it's you're choice whether you take the pills I prescribe. Here have some Lethargopam tablets. I see from your notes that they didn't work last time so we'll try them again'

Flushed toilet...

nasty withdrawal effects...

1 month later...

Am I still on the pills?

Take a guess....

Well... I do still have medication but it's now much better controlled. I take a sedative to help with meltdowns, beta blockers for heart rate and sleeping pills sparingly. In extreme cases I find the medication I currently have seems to work well for me now, but I'm definitely far more cautious when it comes to which pills I take.

I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on medications and hear your stories. Have you found success with meds or do you find them unnecessary? Feel free to comment and share.